Third Wheeling For Dummies | on hold

twenty four

"Why are you being so sullen today?"

"Who, me?" Jae looks up, eyebrows raised in what she hopes is a convincing expression of surprise. The thick chains connecting the swing's seat to the metal frame are cold when she tries to grab on to them to steady herself, and feel slippery under her fingers. "I'm not being sullen."

"You're being quieter than usual," Sora replies thoughtfully, though she's not even looking at her. "You've changed from the last time I saw you."

"Well, considering the last time you saw me was a whole year ago, I guess it's not that surprising," Jae starts, then bites her lip, hanging her head. "Okay, sorry. I know we're supposed to be working on this."

She gestures awkwardly in the space between the two girls, not looking up from the ground. The playground, usually occupied by evening-time joggers and children, is devoid of humanity—which isn't really unusual since it's late. Very late. Jae sneaks a glance at her wrist, then remembers with a curse that she doesn't wear a watch.

"It's fine," Sora waves away her apology nonchalantly, but Jae catches the hint of penitence in her voice. She sighs, knowing that all she's doing is try to get a read on the status of their strange relationship, but it's a little hard to get a sense of companionship when you only meet a person once a year.

Blue-and-black strands of hair falls in her eyes as Jae looks down at the ground, trying to think of something to say. Grass peeks out from under the dirty white soles of her worn Converse, fresh and wet-looking. She wishes she had something conversation-worthy to say, something nice and funny that would hopefully make both of them forget about the situation at hand, but nothing comes. It's as if all of her good humour disappears whenever faced with a real challenge.

NICE THOUGHTS, THINK NICE THOUGHTS. Her mind automatically goes to Jungwoo, and a small, unconscious smile takes up residence on her face. NOW THAT'S A NICE THOUGHT.

Sora notices the smile while looking up from her soy latte, and smiles a smaller smile still as she takes in the sudden shift in her old friend's mood. "Someone special?" she asks.

Jae looks up at her in surprise, hesitating as she lets go of the side of her swing seat. Despite the cold weather, her palms feel sweaty and gross, but she manages a dry smile, choosing not to say anything in return.

"I would say it's about time, but I know how you feel about me saying those things," her friend says, shrugging. Jae glances at the scarf around her shoulders shifting, and thinks about what an odd pair they must seem to passerbys—Jae with her ratty jeans and Green Day logo hoodie, and Sora with her elegant outfit, looking like she is supposed to be at a diner in an hour.

It's fine, because they fit together anyway.

Jae surprises herself with the thought, and glances away from her friend. Sora's head tilts to the side as she surveys the marks on her coffee cup, and sets it on her thigh. "He?"

"He."

She nods. "Is his name Jungwoo?"

Jae stares at her, incredulous. "How did you—"

"He's left quite a few texts on your number, so I made a wild guess" Sora says, nodding at the phone that sticks out of Jae's hoodie pocket at a dangerous angle. "I swear I didn't mean to spy or anything but... Maybe you should call him."

"Oh." The girl takes her cellphone before it can slip out of her disgustingly small pocket, and checks the screen. Yup. Judging from the sixteen new messages notification displayed on the screen of her cell, she's forgotten something. Something very important.

Sora is looking at her expectantly, as if waiting for her to get up and declare her love for some guy she's never heard of before (and leave). Jae slides the phone back in, more carefully this time, and turns to her friend with a sheepish smile.

Sora raises her eyebrows, like, well?, while somehow maintaining her expression of waiting for something with bated breath.

"I think I have to go," Jae says by way of reply, slowly so that she doesn't miss a word or something. She turns away, fixing her stare on the night sky so she doesn't have to look at Sora's widening grin any longer. "I'm not sure why, or where, but I do. I think."

"Oh, don't let me keep you!" Jae is very aware of how hard her friend is trying to keep herself from bursting with excitement. She can almost hear the smile in her suddenly high-pitched voice. "We can meet up another day. Emergencies will be emergencies."

By the time she's done speaking, Jae is drooping like a wilted flower. The inside of her chest feels very heavy and very light at the same time, and sort of ticklish. She's never felt any real gratitude for the people she reluctantly calls her friends, but what she's feeling is so close to it that it's overwhelming for the poor girl's heart.

To her, Sora has always felt like a photograph in the memory box. Someone she used to know, maybe someone she has memories with that will turn into dinnertime stories in the future. Whenever she thinks of her past, Jae feels forgotten. A charity case, maybe.

But now, looking at how invested Sora seems in her life, her feelings are even more messed-up. And Jae doesn't want to deal with any of that right now.

"What are you waiting for?" She's broken from her thoughts by another verbal poke from the girl in question. "I thought you had to go somewhere."

Jae gets up steadily, frowning. Sora makes a shooing gesture with her hands, and she takes a few steps forward. The situation already feels more than bizarre, and she's left with an odd feeling that she's running away from something.

With a last-ditch effort to leave a little more respectably, she turns, the words thank you on her lips. Sora beams up at her, looking untouchable, and kind of angelic, and the words die an ugly death.

"Merry Christmas, Jae," she says. "Kiss a nice guy for me."

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it's literally been months but hey at least i haven't abandoned this right

(i'm so sorry sksk)