Chapter 5 (Pt. 1) - HIStory With Mr. Padilla

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I scurried through the main hallway quickly with my hands clasped tightly on the waistband of the pants I got from the nurse: a pair of triple extra large blue jeans that I could only assume Fat Albert somehow miraculously lost. How someone could lose a pair of pants so big was beyond me, but they were the only pants the nurse had left in the lost and found. As I shuffled through the hall to fifth period, the baggy legs of my pants flapping ferociously in the wind, I could hear murmurs and giggles coming from the corrals of kids lined up against the lockers. Among their words, I could hear them laughing about how everyone went and "claimed" all of the clothes in the lost and found yesterday after I left school in anticipation of another freak accident happening to me that would require new clothes. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment and fury and picked up my pace.

I slunk into Mr. Padilla's classroom. All of the eager-to-learn, always-bullied nerd types were gathered in the front of the classroom discussing nuclear physics or something nerdy like that. They caught glimpses of me as I moved into the room and burst out into laughter. They started making fun of me as they maliciously cackled. I slid into a seat in the far back corner and covered my face with my hands. It felt even more degrading to be bullied by the bullied, and I didn't even have my father there to protect me or stick up for me. He was busy in the principal's office, charming her up so she wouldn't punish me any more than she already had. He was also trying to sweet talk her into dropping the detention I already acquired from the day before.

The bell rang, and the rest of the class shuffled in. Unfortunately for me, Felix was in this class as well. He was the last student to arrive, and the last seat to claim just had to be next to me. "Hey, Donaldson,"  he hissed as he slipped into the desk next to mine and smirked viciously at me. I looked at him from the side of my eye, not wanting to give him my full attention. 

"Hey, Felix," I greeted halfheartedly, silently hoping that would be the end of our exchange. 

But of course, I could never be that lucky. "Where did you get your pants, from a guy on 'My 600 lb Life'?" he snickered.

I rolled my eyes. "That was terrible," I remarked, unamused. I grabbed at the pants. "I wouldn't even doubt it if that was where these pants came from."

I looked at Felix, and I could see panic in his eyes. He was fresh out of material to make fun of me. "You peed your pants like a kindergartner, so... fuck you," he said before turning his body to the front of the classroom and folding his arms over his chest in defeat.

Not too long after, Mr. Padilla strolled into the classroom and slapped his teaching book down on his desk in the front of the room. He drew in a deep breath and smiled greatly. "Gooooooooooood morning, class!" he greeted happily. His eyes scanned the classroom and stopped on me. "Jimmy Donaldson! So good to finally see you join us!" His smile now seemed strained and disingenuous. I skipped this class yesterday when I ditched during lunch, but that wasn't the reason for the tension between me and Mr. Padilla.

He was Anthony Padilla, former member of the iconic YouTube duo and former most subscribed to Youtube channel Smosh. He and Ian Hecox, his best friend and fellow history teacher, spent years growing their YouTube channel to get to 20 million subscribers, but it only took me a couple to reach that number. I was very close to overtaking Smosh in subscribers, and even though he was no longer part of Smosh, Anthony took great offense to that. He pretended to like me since I invited him to participate in a Youtuber battle royale and his team ended up winning the $100,000 prize, but he still secretly despised me. Everybody did.

Smosh Ian--er, Mr. Hecox--came into the classroom. This was his free period to do teacher stuff, but he always came into Mr. Padilla's classroom to chill. He didn't seem to take issue with me, but he was definitely a little offended that I never invited him to be in one of my videos. 

Regardless of their personal vendettas against me, I enjoyed seeing them together. They may not have been working together on YouTube anymore, but they were still good friends and hyped each other up to teach history to a bunch of high school brats. 

Mr. Hecox caught sight of me in the back of the classroom and giggled at my comically large pants. "Mr. Donaldson!" he screeched gleefully as he pointed his finger at me. The entire class followed his finger to me. "Don't ya think you bought your pants a little too big? You could fit five families of rabid badgers in there!" 

The class laughed hysterically, or should I say, historically. No, I shouldn't. That was a bad joke and it belongs on Your Grammar Sucks. In fact, I think it was on Your Grammar Sucks. Bad jokes and grammar aside, I covered my face in shame again until I heard my father's honey voice in the doorway. "It's a statement," he remarked. I could hear the heels of his loafers clicking against the floor as he walked closer to where I was sitting. "Don't you know a thing about fashion? People who follow the trends aren't the ones that start them. You have to think outside the box and break social norms. Pants that actually fit? Forget it. Nobody will be wearing those by next year."

I opened my eyes and looked at my father who was now standing between me and Felix. He had changed into a pair of black slacks that were way too big for him that were being held up by a pair of black leather suspenders. He buttoned the cuffs on his white dress shirt and adjusted the fedora on his head. He looked so unbelievably good, it was... unbelievable. What was even more unbelievable was that he actually committed an unspeakable crime against fashion to try and lessen the embarrassment on me and managed to pull it off. 

"Mr. Donaldson," Mr. Padilla said to my father with humility, "you're looking as dapper as always."

"You're damn right I am," Dad muttered under his breath. He looked at me with his big brown eyes and winked.

Tears started streaming down my cheeks and snot poured from my nostrils. Any doubt I ever had about my father's love for me was immediately eradicated. He may not have always been there for me, but he was there for me then, and it was the greatest feeling I ever had. I looked at Felix who was filming me ugly cry, but I didn't care. It was an ugly cry of love and appreciation and that was the best reason to cry.

The rest of class was just Anthony and Ian being themselves and barely teaching any history at all. At one point, they made a joke about Michael Jackson which my father, the man himself, took offense to, and there was a whole back and forth heated debate about his oddness and the reasons for it.

Having Dad go through school with me was a blessing and a curse. Everyone left me alone because they knew he would moonwalk up and down their asses if they messed with me, but they still talked shit about me loud enough for me to hear and made fun of me for needing Daddy to hold my hand. 

On the ride home, I asked Dad if he would go to school with me everyday.

"Why, Jimmy?" he asked, genuinely confused. "You're almost twenty-one years old, and you're a senior. You don't need your old man holding your hand through school. This isn't your first day of kindergarten, you know."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I never talked to my dad about the constant torment and bullying my peers, mostly Felix, put me through on a daily basis. I couldn't rationalize why I never told him about it because who would understand better than him, the most misunderstood and tortured person in the world? I supposed I didn't really want to add more trouble to his plate. He was already dealing with so much of his own issues that thrusting mine at him seemed unfair. I still felt a bit uneasy about it, so I pushed back the need to tell him and sugarcoated it. "I just really enjoyed spending time with you, Dad," I said with a half smile.

He looked at me from the side. He was unaware of many things, but he always knew when there was something wrong with his children. "I really enjoyed spending time with you, too, Jimmy," he said. "But I know that's not why you want me to go to school with you. I'm not going to push you to talk about it if you don't want to, but I will say this. *If you enter this world knowing you are loved, and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with. And you know I love you, always." 

I leaned back a little more comfortably in my seat and looked out the window, watching the trees as they passed by.

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*actual MJ quote

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