Hold On to the Nights || Romanogers AU

Chapter 7

A/N: Hey guys! I have a new chapter ready for you. Let me know what you all think. Thanks! :)

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Natasha sipped her coffee, feeling the sting of the bitterness at the tip of her tongue. Her hair hadn't been washed in days and she was getting that odd pheromone stench she knew was gonna be a challenge to make go away. It's nothing a shower won't fix, right? It wasn't that easy. Natasha didn't think making much of an effort especially when a lot of jobs she tracked were a bunch of hang ups and "you can fill out an application, we're always hiring" excuses. She knew she wasn't making much progress and what was worse is she refused to ask for help. Anya was known to lend a hand when she needed it but Natasha wanted to do this alone. To admit defeat and get something going through nepotism was something she didn't want on her conscious.

She was starting to feel her dignity slip away the more she tried to go it alone. She rubbed the lines between her eyes and closed them for a moment. It was a shame she never got her degree when she had the chance. She had to come home when her parents divorced and be in the middle of something that she never caused. She would never forgive her mother for pulling her into that drama, the worst part was she enjoyed including her own daughter as well as hurting her emotionally in the process.

It was hard to forgive someone like that. She stopped caring for her mother after that whole mess. It was only a matter of time for them to stop talking all together. Her mother never made an effort to reach Natasha and by default Natasha gave up hope that her mother will ever change her self-destructive ways.

But no matter how hard you wish it to be true, you can't change your family.

A knock at her door made Natasha look up. It was around this time that she was expecting Anya to come by. She hadn't seen her since that night her friend was there to visit. She needed to be alone for some time but Anya wasn't a person to let her deal with anything alone. Not out of disrespect just that her concern was real and she genuinely cared about Natasha bouncing back from her lay off.

She placed the newspaper and her computer to the side, putting her device to sleep as she walked up to open the door.

Anya sighed and gently pulled her in for a hug and Natasha welcomed it despite her need for solitude. It was hard to shut Anya out, not when she had good intentions on her side.

"I'm sorry about the other night." Natasha apologized.

"I know why you did that. For what it's worth you were right. I know she's a friend but she hates being judged, especially when she's wrong. All I did was listen to her, she just wanted me to listen and just agree. I suppose she didn't want someone to tell her the truth. You know what's interesting? She was like this when we were friends. I haven't seen her in years and it seems like she hasn't changed. I'm sorry it was awkward for you." Anya came inside and placed her things on the couch.

Natasha twisted her mouth to the side. "I feel like I made her mad. I mean, I did pry and I didn't know the whole story."

"Don't worry about it honey." Anya said, pausing, "How are you? Did you receive any calls yet?"

Natasha shook her head. "I lost count of how many applications I sent out. I guess I just have to keep on trying. Something might turn up sooner or later; hopefully sooner."

Anya made her way to the kitchen and waved Natasha off when she began putting on the kettle to boil. She glanced at Natasha behind her.

"You know, it's not too late to consider something that might be a temporary fix."