Hi, Coffee Guy (W., #2)

07 - To our beginnings

Hi, Coffee Guy,

You're finally here.

"Wina!" you called while raising your hand.

It's kind of strange. My friends and colleagues call me Mina, but you're the only one who calls me that. I don't even remember when we started calling each other by our names.

We also didn't get each other's number. Maybe it's just me, but that made our meetings more precious and memorable.

"Oh," sabay turo ko sa ticket na nasa table. "Nakakuha ka?"

"Yup!" you beamed.

Napangiti naman ako. "Congrats."

These past few months, we've been slowly learning about each other. Nalaman ko na fan ka ng All Time Low at pinapakinggan mo sa akin ang albums nila. What I love about them were the lyrics of their songs.

"Ah. I bought another one just in case," sabay pakita mo sa isa pa. "Do you want to come with me?"

Nagulat naman ako sa nakita ko. "OMG, dalawa ang binili mo?"

"Yeah," you grinned. "Naisip kasi kita. Baka gusto mo ring pumunta."

"Hala sige, babayaran na lang kita."

After that ay umilaw ang disc sa table natin at agad ka namang tumayo para kunin ang order. Ah. You've already ordered for me, too.

"How's your reports?" tanong mo nang makabalik ka sa table natin.

"I'm done," sagot ko naman. Ilang araw rin akong hindi nakadaan dito dahil tinapos ko ang reports na kailangan naming ipasa bukas.

"Oh. Here's your reward," sabay lapag mo ng slice ng chocolate cheesecake sa harapan ko habang nakangiti kaya napangiti rin ako.

"Thank you." Napahinto naman ako sa pagsubo at napatingin sa labas. "Ah. It's raining."

I looked at you and you sighed while smiling, as if you knew I'd tease you.

"C'mon, I'm not affected by that anymore."

"Ah, really? Good for you, then," saka ako uminom ng kape.

"You know, you've been getting confident in teasing me these past few weeks," sabay iling mo.

I suppressed a smile. "I'm not."

"Ah. Isn't that your almost guy?" you said while pointing behind me.

"Ha. Ha. Not buying it," I mocked, though I was tempted to turn around.

I don't know when we got this close but I really like how we became each other's safe place. I can tell you things that I won't even think of telling to my closest friends. In a world where people wear masks everyday to conceal their emotions, weaknesses and vulnerability, I found a place where I can take it off comfortably and be myself. It's when I'm with you.

I am suddenly reminded of the time when I was scared of getting close to you. Pakiramdam ko kasi, mangyayari na naman ang naranasan ko noon. Getting attached to someone and losing them afterwards became traumatic to me. I don't want to feel that kind of pain again.

I was always cautious when it comes to feelings. I would always wonder if we feel the same way toward each other. What if I like him more than he likes me? What if he stopped liking me? What if his feelings change? I would always think that I'd get hurt in the end so I often step back and prevent myself from feeling anything for a person to save my heart from pain. 

But you are different. Instead of feeling that heart-racing tension I felt for him before and always questioning my worth, I feel comfortable. We know each other's intentions but we're also contented with where we are right now as friends and I think that's what matters the most. This time, I don't want to be cautious and calculating. This time, I want to enjoy every moment and protect my happiness.

"Excited na ako," I muttered while looking at the ticket you gave me.

I glanced at you and you gave me a genuine and gentle smile. "Me, too."

And maybe, when we're both ready to face our intentions, we can finally cross the line we've been protecting for so long and look forward to our new beginnings.

Happier now,

W.

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