Twisted

Carlos the Mystery Man

I peered out the dark window, grinning like an idiot. "Did I ever mention Carlos?" I asked my aunt who was visiting from out of town. She was driving me home that night.

"Carlos....?" She questioned.

I smirked. "Yeah. He's this.......thing that hangs out by our house."

She looked shocked. "It's a guy? I thought this was a good neighborhood!"

I chuckled. "Yeah, he's this guy who roams around the suburbs at night. He has 'CARLOS' written on his hat in big bold letters so we all know his name. It's quite funny, really."

She looked frightened. "What does this 'Carlos' do?"

"He speaks spanish, he always walks up to us saying 'puedo ir al baño' before running off into the shadows, and we can understand him because of these songs we listen to in spanish class."

"Does he have a place to stay?"

"Nobody knows. He's a mystery. He shows up, watches us, then disappears. He's a legend that all my friends know about." I laughed again.

She was taking me quite seriously. "I thought your mom said this was a safe place!"

I shrugged it off. "Oh, old Carlos would never hurt anyone. He hasn't done anything.......yet."

"Do your parents know about him?" she stammered.

"Everyone knows Carlos. I'm surprised you haven't heard of him."

I couldn't keep up the act any longer.

"They say he lives in the hills....." I burst out laughing.

She was looking at me very strangely.

"No, actually......" I snorted with laughter.

"He- he's a groundhog-beaver-thing that lives in a hole in the hill over there. It used to live under our porch. We named him Carlos."

She gaped at me like a fish.

"So he's a groundhog-man who lurks around your house at night asking for things in spanish and he lives in a hole?"

It was my turn to stare at her. "No......"

We pulled up at my house. My mom greeted us.

"Did your daughter tell you about the man-groundhog that prowls around your house at night?" my aunt demanded.

My mom bursted into laughter. "You haven't caught on to her sarcasm yet?"

I was almost on the ground laughing. "I told her about Carlos."

My dad laughed. "Who?"

"That little creature that lives in the hill over there." I pointed.

"What did you tell your poor aunt?" he asked with a knowing look.

I shrugged. "Long story..."

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XD I think I went too far with that, it wasn't as funny as it sounded in my head. Oh well.

This is an overly exaggerated version of a conversation I just had with my aunt who came over here from out of town. It was awesome.

To recap: Carlos is this......thing that lives by my house and seems to appear everywhere. He drives me crazy because I have no idea what he is, it's like a chubby beaver-groundhog-muskrat that stalks people. I squeal and call him spawn of the devil whenever I see him. He is real. Don't question him.

Fun facts of the day :3

*no offense to the Spanish. I only put that in there because it was part of the conversation*