23.) Deep, Dark Forests

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The forest was indeed dark, and it didn't help that we traveled at night. The moon pale light of the moon barely made a difference.

"We'll be there in the morning," Juniper translated for me.

As far as I was concerned, there was nowhere worth traveling in the dark. The whole thing put me on edge. Shadows moved and took shape. Animals slunk in and out of bushes. My companions didn't seem bothered.

I wondered if they were trying to lure us away so they could murder us. I tried to talk myself out of it. After the crew was sure we hadn't recognized any of the terrain or weren't confident enough to brave it, they relaxed their control.

I walked next to Juniper. They'd carried her in a tub, routinely switching out the men who carried it. Each time they set her down, she squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the thin metal.

"We have to be close, Juniper."

"I know. I just don't like it. I don't like one thing about it."

"Me neither."

"Do you think we're in Kiser?"

"We have to be."

"It's so cold."

I looked at Juniper's bare arms. I didn't have anything to give her beyond my own shirt.

"I know. We'll be someplace warm soon."

She nodded, shivering. I took her hand and we didn't talk anymore.

Castor joined us, wincing with each step.

I slipped my hand out of Juniper's.

"Stomach hurt?"

"Yeah."

He pushed next to Juniper. He was talking quickly.

The atmosphere suddenly shifted to be much more intimate than it had been.

I moved away, trying to remind myself that that was what I wanted. What had happened when I'd been in my own little world?

I'd missed so much. The next time I looked over, they were deep in conversation, Juniper sporting a new shirt and Castor only in a thin undershirt. They both seemed animated and I wished I felt happy for them.

I walked alone, feeling the dull ache again. I looked over when everyone else did. The guard from earlier had evidently decided a punch wasn't enough. He'd shoved Castor away from Juniper. Barely adjusting my pace, I walked over to him and pulled him up, meeting the Kiserite's gaze. He make a move towards me, but the captain held him in check.

I didn't care that Juniper wasn't translating their argument. I stayed next to Castor, trying to calm myself when I saw a shadow crawling out of a bush. Leaves rustled and a one floated down to me. Something was in the trees.

It was likely nothing. The company had swords. We'd be fine.

There was another bush moving. And then another.

"Hey!" Juniper's hand caught me attention.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm not scared at all. Leave me alone."

Juniper's eyes stared at me skeptically. "Fine then."

Castor was looking at me. "It'll be fine. You're S-A-F-E."

I signed "safe" for him, and he mimicked it.

I didn't make any move to continue conversation, so Castor and Juniper turned back to each other and talked. They didn't sign, and I wondered why Castor still wanted to learn. We hadn't been as awkward around each other as I'd have thought, but he could've easily abandoned all effort to talk to me. Instead he was learning more, taking every chance to improve his vocabulary. It struck me that if the situations had been reversed, I'd be unlikely to do the same.

I shivered in the cold air and tried to ignore the way everything around me trembled. Leaves shook in the breeze. The company wrapped themselves tighter in their cloaks or hugged themselves as tight as possible. I walked quicker, itching to back in the open.

I'd always hated confined spaces. My mother claimed it was because I was born to be in the ocean, so I loved vast expanses. My father argued it was because I was destined for the open air on a ship. Whatever it was, it wasn't helping my nervousness.

I took a deep breath and kept going. Castor and Juniper were too absorbed in each other to notice the cold air, the menacing atmosphere, or anything else.

I tried to focus on the men around me. Most of them weren't paying attention to me. I could try to slip away and try to make it back to the sea. I glanced back over at Castor and Juniper. If I tried, I'd have to leave them behind. Juniper would only slow us down.

The captain caught my eye and walked next to me, practically breathing down my neck. I tried to look around more discretely after that, but I'd have to distract him to even have a chance.

When I'd given up, my thoughts started to drift back towards South Hellendun. My mother had been bleeding when I'd last seen her. I wondered what had happened. Sharks never normally tried to eat sirens, but occasionally, it did happen. Her face, serene and peaceful dominated my thoughts.

I tried to will the image away, but it stuck. I tried to think of my father or of his crew. I tried to will the homesickness back, but all I felt was a numbness. It had occurred to me before that I was a terrible daughter, but I'd always consoled myself with the thought that she was just as terrible of a mother.

We all start off as humans, Arriana. Every single one of us. It's how your parents fell in love...

Why hadn't my father ever told me? Why didn't I know that, but Juniper did?

My father loved to tell stories, mostly anecdotes of his own life. And he'd always characterized her as sweet, even if she was somewhat impulsive.

I thought his imagination was smoothing over her real personality or he'd been under her influence, but now I didn't know.

I jumped when something brushed my arm.

"See that light?" Castor signed.

I looked ahead. Light shone through the trees.

"Yeah. What is it?"

"Some kind of camp. We're stopping here."

I nodded and kept trudging forward.

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