The Sound of a Siren's Call

44.) Love and Hate

Ryan's hair smelled good. It overpowered the smell of smoke in an instant.

When I pulled away, all the anger melted.

Ryan moved on to the vampire, treating the fire as though it wasn't there. She seemed to walk as though she ruled the world, and for a moment, I wished she did.

Castor looked over at me.

"Don't judge J-U-D-G-E me."

He shrugged. "I'm not."

But I saw it in his eyes he was.

What's that girl doing with her life? She can't even make up her own mind.

His judgment was slightly kinder than the words I assigned to it, but the point was the same. I really couldn't make up my own mind.

Did I love or hate Ryan? The line had become beyond blurred and I was standing on it, unable to move from one side or the other.

Ryan stood over the vampire and the woman backed away. Ryan circled, looking at each of the vampires in the eye. She spoke and they all nodded, looking agreeable.

They didn't look at me like a piece of meat again, but I had no doubt the effect would wear off. I didn't want to be around when it did.

Ryan grabbed my hand and Castor followed us as we stepped through the gap between the vampires. The fire peeled back, the heat almost forming a doorway. I took a breath when I couldn't see the gleaming fangs again.

Ryan turned to Castor. "Truce?"

He didn't have to sign, but Ryan was obviously trying to show off to me. If she didn't sign, the effect would be ruined.

"What?" Castor gave me a sideways glance. He saw the showboating too.

"T-R-U-C-E."

He nodded and turned back to Ryan.

"Why do you want a truce?"

"I might have been overzealous."

He nodded. Ryan's speech must've explained the missing signs. I didn't enjoy having to fingerspell for him, but when I didn't, I felt strangely useless.

He was suspicious.

"Fine. Truce."

Ryan grinned, then looked at me with pride.

She was trying to win my trust back. I saw it clearly in her eyes.

I tried to get the old witch out of my head. That look wasn't the look of someone who only used people.

But something deep inside hardened.

"Was that so hard?"

She grinned, her arm looping through mine. "Do you forgive me? I was being a jerk." She paused. "And I'm sorry."

I stared at her and nodded. She leaned over to kiss me, but I ducked away.

"No."

She raised her eyebrows. "Friends?"

I nodded. "Friends."

But I felt it deep inside that we weren't going to end up friends.

I couldn't straddle the line between love and hate forever. I would have to pick a side, but for now, I stood on the line, even as it blurred more under my feet.

Her fingers found their way to my hand, and then we were walking down the street hand in hand. We were closer than I'd ever been to a friend.

Ryan must've felt it too, the air between us smaller than it should've been, but she didn't comment or move away. Neither did I.