You won't get away with it | Twice

3 - Preventable Hurt

Jihyo watched as the members practiced the dance over and over and over. Nobody smiled. Nobody laughed. Nobody was enjoying anything anymore. It had been a year and a half since... she didn't like to think about it. So much had happened since then.

Nayeon had been diagnosed with depression. The poor girl had barely coped. She was determined, however, to not end up like... Momo. She wanted to help others and herself and so continued in Twice under the watchful eyes of the members and the managers. She was doing a lot better now, but Jihyo still noticed her eyes sometimes glazing over as she looked at a picture that had her in it. She was still deeply hurt.

Jeongyeon had taken to sleeping pills after finding she couldn't closer her eyes without seeing what she had seen that day. Tzuyu had been unable to contact her family in over four months, unsure if anybody loved her anymore.

And Dahyun. She had panic attack after panic attack. She had been asked again and again if she wanted to leave Twice, but she had refused. Jihyo herself had even told her that it might be better for her to leave idol life behind and live at home for a while. But Dahyun never listened to her.

"I had this dream, and I'm not giving it up so easily." She always said.

Jihyo herself had wanted to leave. But a conversation she had had a long time ago always popped up in her head.

"So, you've trained for seven years already?"

"It's no big deal. I'll get there eventually." Jihyo felt bashful. Her cheeks went pink.

"Amazing!" Momo's face displayed pure awe... or maybe it was horror, either way the expression was adorable and Jihyo instantly fell in love with her. Jihyo wasn't dumb or naïve and she didn't believe in falling in love instantaneously. But there was something about this Japanese girl that just squeezed Jihyo's heart the right way. Maybe she would have to re-evaluate her beliefs.

"I don't think I could wait that long to become an idol." Momo continued. She was stuttering a little and repeating herself, but she was very good at Korean after only a few months of practice. Jihyo vowed to help her improve from now onwards. "I think I would give up after so long."

"I kind of agree. It's very tiring to work so hard and to be let down again and again." Jihyo sighed.

"But you can't give up now!" She said, her face set in a determined stare. "You've put so much effort in for so long. Promise we'll debut together and never give up?"

Jihyo was a little taken aback by the sudden promise she was making to a girl who she barely knew. The rational part of her wanted her to say: "We can't make promises we can't necessarily keep. I've been training for seven years. Anything in the world could happen." But instead the part of her brain that had fallen hopelessly in love with the girl in front of her spoke.

"I promise." Their pinkies linked together, and their thumbs touched.

Jihyo had kept that promise all this time. She had debuted with Momo. She hadn't given up. Even when Jihyo broke up with her and they returned to simply friends (according to Momo anyway). Even when Momo had given up herself.

Now here they were. Twice as eight members, preparing for their first comeback since they had been nine.

Jihyo knew for certain that despite the determination all the girls had to keep Twice together, the members were fading fast. She was also worried about the fans' reception of the song and the mini album that was coming along with it. Due to it being their first comeback in a while and after a tragic incident, all the songs, including the title track, were rather solemn and meaningful rather than some more light-hearted ones being scattered in to brighten the mood. Jihyo was worried that they may not even want to listen to it without Momo's participation.

Jihyo didn't want to listen to it. She couldn't listen or sing to any of the songs without breaking down. They had taken so long to record because of that.

"I'm done!" Dahyun suddenly cried. A manager cut off the music as the girls stopped dancing to rush to their panicking member. "I can't listen to this shit anymore!"

Jihyo was the one who pulled Dahyun into her arms for comfort. She stroked her hair and held her head to her chest.

Jihyo felt responsible for Dahyun. The only source of Momo's happiness. She had to protect her at all costs. She had to be the shield for Dahyun to all the bad things in the world. To all the hurt and sadness and fear and the panic too. She would take it all upon herself because it was the least she could do for Momo.

"You're so distant lately. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on."

"Momo, I know you, please don't lie to me."

"It's NOTHING."

"I think we should stop this. I don't feel... right. I barely even hear you say 'I love you' anymore. Did you ever even love me?"

"You... YOU'RE ONE OF THE REASONS."

Jihyo was stupid. Dumb. Selfish. Naïve. Shallow. Of course, she was one of the reasons. She hadn't taken the time to see how Momo was feeling. How she locked herself away on bad days. How she wore long sleeves more and more. How she looked at Dahyun. Jihyo should have payed more attention. She didn't deserve to love Momo. She didn't deserve to still have these feelings after all this time.

She pulled Dahyun closer toher chest.