you're my best friend ; joe mazzello

i really lo...like you; part 6

holly's pov

TW: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

i pushed any thought of joe to the back of my mind for days.. or at least attempted to. this man flooded my memory, he became part of all of my thoughts. i couldn't let this happen though, he hurt me and tried to make up excuses and i've been hurt one two many times in the past. sure it might have been early days but good to know he's a player right away, rather than finding out after emotional attachment has been made.

hannah and katie made every effort to cheer me up, but i spent most of my days mindlessly writing and outlining. writing and outlining. now i'm not a strong believer in love at first sight but maybe that's what happened. he added an element into my life that i'd never experienced before. he left an essence of himself wherever he went, something i truly admired.

this couldn't be right. this charming charismatic man didn't seem like your average player. use you for sex then dump you before you start getting attached. he didn't seem like that type of person. of course the text didn't sit right with me but neither did the whole situation. it all seemed a bit sudden. meet in person, have a nice date, kiss then get told to fuck off?

over the last few days, it's been crossing my mind whether i should text him back and i'm in 2 minds about it. do i let him talk and maybe forgive him or do i forget. despite our short time knowing each other we had a connection. it sounds cliché, it was there.

one day, i'd had enough and just said fuck it. what's the worst that will come out of it?

i lifted up my phone and clicked his contact for the first time in a week. i caught a glance of our old text and that familiar fuzzy feeling hurdled around in my stomach. with a trembling hand, i slowly typed out,

"come over and explain."

i sent the text with dedication and set my phone down on the desk. i stared at the laptop and notebook in front of me, deciding to take the dirty mug downstairs so i wasn't there for the reply.

i quickly took it down and sat it in the sink, the rest of my house felt foreign. i had scarcely been down here in a good 2 days. focus on work and the feelings will go away, i told myself.

i slowly made my way back up stairs to look at my phone. as soon as i walked in the room, the screen had lit up. i slowly lifted up my phone, the trembling of my hand becoming slightly, however noticeably stronger.

"thank you. be there in 5." the text read. it had been sent precisely 3 minutes ago so i had little time to get myself together.

thoughts were racing around my head at 100 miles per hour. what would he say? what would happen? would we make up? would i forgive him?

i quickly brushed my hair and sat in the living room. it was cold in there. i wrapped a cardigan around my shoulders and awaited his arrival.

i heard the familiar sound of the doorbell and i suddenly tensed up. i dragged myself off the couch to get to the door. i saw a tall silhouette standing on the other side of the door. i slowly opened the door.

"hey." he said in his soft, welcoming voice.

i had the same feeling i had when we very first met, when we first locked eyes. i snapped myself out of it, i needed to be assertive.

"hi." i said, letting him in.

he followed me into the living room and sat on the arm chair at the other side of the room.

i turned down the music playing and finally looked up at him.

"you can explain." i said softly.

"i know there isn't an excuse for this. i didn't mean to hurt you. there's no point in saying all these empty words so i hope you can at least believe that i mean it. i didn't send that text. i was with friends on saturday, and i lost my phone for a bit. i'm friends with james. james devlin. i was told that was your ex. that's who i lost my phone to. that's who the text was sent by. he wants you back. i don't know about what happened with you two but i hope you can honestly forgive me." joe said, quietly but meaningfully.

i began to choke back tears as i heard him say james. "james... he was ab-busive. first i thought he was just hot headed. then he became possessive. he would lock me in my room. i didn't see my friends. i had to use my phone when i was around him and he'd constantly check it. then the hitting started. then the sexual assault started. i'd say no. i'd scream it. he wouldn't listen. i only got out of there because one night it was particularly bad and i ruined my vocal cords screaming." by the end i was sobbing. the only people who knew were hannah and katie, and my parents.

joe was in shock. in anger. i could read his facial expression. i desperately tried to wipe my tears and regain myself. i'd fully healed from all the physical injuries, but the mental scars were still healing and metaphorically still sore to touch. it's been 2 years since it happened but i still have nightmares about the final night.

all joe could do was sprint over and wrap his arms around me as tight as possible. first i was apprehensive but soon it felt like home. i forgot i missed him. i forgot his genuinely kind heart.

i was crying into his shoulder and with every sob he somehow squeezed tighter.

in that moment, every doubt i ever had about him was cleared from my mind. no player would act like this. he was invested in me, right from the start.

after what seemed like eternity they finally pulled apart.

"i'll never let that motherfucker speak to me ever again, and if he tries it i'll break his jaw." he said, getting angrier by the second.

"i forgive you. 1000%." was all i could say.

"i shouldn't have doubted you, you never seemed like that type of person." i say with tears streaming down my face.

"i lo..like you." he said, hugging me again and lifting me up. i looked into his eyes for a moment before he kissed me. i felt truly at home with him.

hey everyone! so i'm sorry i haven't updated this book for 6 months but every author has their faults! i read this back earlier and realized i miss writing it so here i am. i feel i'm much better at writing and i've decided to slow things down, how are we feeling?