That's just me

Chapter 5

I look back at him with my face plastered with confusion.
"Erm what are you doing here?" I questioned. He looked me in my eyes, not moving from the door and answered

"You went off, I-I wanted to see why" I move my eyes away from him looking at my hands on my lap, playing around with my thumbs at this point, I felt nervous when he was around but in a completely different way.

"Oh that's the reason, yeh I just didn't want to sit there anymore I felt uncomfortable." I stated never losing contact with my hands.

He stepped closer to me carefully as if he was worried to go near me, he walked towards the end of the bed and sighed just before sitting down with his back to me.

"Why did you feel uncomfortable? Because of the game? Because of the people?" He stuttered quickly, I lifted my head up from my hands looking at his back.

"I would say it was both the things listed" I replied quietly but with no lack of confidence. He turned his head to face me now, studying my features with a look of, what was it, guilt?

Why did he look guilty? He's the boy that does what he wants when he wants and never feels guilty about it. I know kissing him wasn't a big deal, I've kissed people before, but it's like there was so much intensity behind it, longing, there were fireworks. Yes that's cringey but there's no other way to explain it. I'm just embarrassed now, that he clearly didn't feel it the same way, and I was so eager in the kiss we shared. He looks guilty because he knows that I wanted to kiss him more and more and he didn't, he doesn't.

"Has your uncomfortableness somehow got anything to do with that kiss?" Harvey questioned me again. I feel my cheeks tinting with red colour as I look at him. He's never leaving my eyes, keeping his glare on me. Do I admit it or do I just cover it up, lie to him. Confident skylar remember.

"Well yes, but that's nothing for you to feel guilty about, it's down to me and my stupidity, I know I shouldn't have kissed you, yes you kiss girls all the time as we can ALL tell but I just shouldn't have" I stammered and took a breath as I continued "I've kissed boys before it's not a big thing, and, I've known you only for a day, but, that kiss was like an explosion, I don't think I've experienced anything like it, and I'm just going to be honest and say I wanted to carry on, I was eager to but you clearly wasn't hence the sudden pull away. It's alright like I understand you didn't want to kiss me I was stupid to think someone like you would enjoy a kiss with someone like me and yes I understand it's just a game but it didn't feel like a game at that point, Charlie's felt like a game, you gave me a different impression whilst we were you know." I raise my eyebrows at him I close my lips into a thin line.
He doesn't say anything he just looks at me, unable to speak.

I turn my head away again not able to look at him without wanting to hide with embarrassment. He slides closer to me on the bed still leaving a large gap between us two. He breathes before saying

"It's just a kiss skylar and it was just a game." He stops and closes his mouth, leaving me not particularly surprised but still with a feeling of my stomach being punched. I look back at him now not saying anything and then he surprises me by continuing "but, just because I pulled away doesn't mean I didn't want to kiss you, it doesn't mean I didn't like it." Now I am shocked, what does he mean, he acted so horrible to me at school but then says he wanted to kiss me? He's good with his words no wonder he gets so many girls. I pinch my eyebrows together still looking at him with confusion begging him with my facial expression to explain, so he does.
"I've met you today, and you've got a big mouth that doesn't close, but that intrigues me and today when you came to this party looking like that I wanted you, because you intrigued me in other ways, not just mentally but physically. You're acting like you've got feelings for me after one kiss and ONE day, you need to take a breather and I say that in the best possible way. I do agree with one of the statements you made though, that kiss it felt different but not in a bad way." I continued my gaze on him staring at his vibrant eyes.
He just said I need to take a breather, I'm not saying I'm in love with the guy or even like the guy, I just felt something during that kiss and I'm not adding to his ego, even if he was being nice to me.