SOUL TIES ‡ NBAYB

⁙ ten ⁙

I hated the way that I loved him. The way that no matter what he does to me I would still be the first to smack a bitch just for looking at him wrong.

I hated how my life was centered around his, I hated that I still worry about him even when he shows me in every way that I shouldn't.

I hated the way he was there for me because it just made me love him. I even hated the way that I loved him because it definitely wasn't normal.

I'd go through hell and back for that nigga even when I hated him. There's not anyone that doesn't know that that knows us.

It was like the way guys knew even when I wasn't claiming him to still leave me be because he was just going to end up finding out causing them problems until he got bored of it all.

After what he did, or finally told me what he did I didn't want anything to do with him or anyone who associates with him. But I was really starting to realize after I met him that's all I really have left.

This baby was the guarantee that I'd never truly get away from him, I didn't know what that made me feel anymore. I felt lost, but at the same time my baby gave me the strength to leave him.

He knew better than to try to contact me after this Starr situation. And by situation I mean something that only me and Trell should have shared together I know share with two other girls.

The worst part about it was there was nothing I could do about it, there was no way to fix it. I just had to at some point get over it and just live with it.

I never wanted to be just a baby momma to someone, but now with Trell I'm one of many.

There were so many questions I had for each girl, ones that I knew were only going to piss him off. But the more he hurt me the less I was starting to care about what he was going to think.

I needed it for me. And maybe just maybe when I finally got the truth, I'd start to love him a little less too. Because that's just what it was what he did to me this time hurt way more than the rest.