Queen Victoria (Romanogers Au)

Lonely

It was the final few hours of the day Natasha dreaded, she was outside which was a shock, she never left her house for any reason she didn't even come out of her room for most of the day. She was at a grave sobbing silently as she looked at it. "Steve..." She said quietly looking at the grave which belonged to Steve. "I know you're probably watching over me right now so I want to say a few things..." She said trying to hold back her tears before she began to speak. "I really miss you and I know that what you did was for the good of the universe but everyday I see James and Sarah what is actually years seems like only a few days." She said stopping before she began to speak again. "Both of our children remind me of you, James because of his personality and his willingness to never back down and fight for the weak and Sarah for resembling so much about you looks wise."

Natasha was out late at night as she wanted to avoid being seen by anyone, in fact she didn't even speak to anyone apart from the Barton and Stark family who comforted her through everything she was going through, she then went back to speaking to her deceased husband. "Baby I know they trained me in the red room to be this strong assassin who can psychologically make it through anything but..." Natasha paused before having a breakdown, collapsing on her knees. "But losing you was too much even for someone who's been through training like that." She stopped as she remembered all the time they spent together. "You gave me everything the red room took away from me a place in the world, a home and something which they desperately tried taking away from me..." She paused once more before speaking again. "A family..."

Natasha began to cry loud but stopped as she realised that someone could possible hear her. "When we were on the run I felt like I was with Russia again, I even visited my old friend Yelena but she..." She sobbed. "She's gone but you were there for me after I lost her, she was like a sister to me I wish you met in this world but I guess you'll meet up in the clouds." She stayed silent before continuing to speak. "You comforted me everyday, staying up late at night to make sure I fell asleep and even when I woke up during the middle of the night because of a nightmare you made everything ok."

Natasha then remembered their wedding day in Wakanda while they were on the run. "Marrying You was the best decision I ever made, you were so sweet, caring and kind." She had a look of sadness on her face. "I remember everything, you in a suit, me in a wedding dress it was perfect, it almost felt like it was too good to be true." Another one of her happiest memories with Steve came to her mind. "When I took that pregnancy test and I found out I had James." She stopped smiling for the first time in a long time. "I couldn't describe how happy I was you gave me something I thought I could never have."

"When Thanos snapped I thought that nothing would make me feel as sad as I was then." She said thinking back to when Thor cut Thanos' head off after they found out he destroyed the stones. "Then you comforted me once more even giving me another child." She then thought to Clint and Vormir. "When Clint jumped and I couldn't do anything about it, I felt as if I let an entire family down." She then remembered Steve's snap. "When I lost Clint it was like loosing a brother but when I lost you it was like my heart dusted just as Thanos and his army was." She then began to cry loudly once more.

"I love you Steve..."