Lapis x fem!reader "To understand Emotions"

Chapter 11

'Why did it have to be her..?'
~~~~~
Lapis sat atop the moon,tears flowing from her eyes endlessly. Peridot,she was..she was gone. Perhaps if she had been there with them,she could have saved her,but..she wasn't. She was too scared to go back. She refused to go back. The gem,in an attempt to calm her emotions,began humming a tune to herself.

"Lapis?" A calm,familiar voice asked from behind. Caught off guard,she immediately swiped at the orb,looking behind her to see the small boy,Steven. "Steven!!" She stood,facing the boy. Happily,the boy ran over and hugged her. "I..I can't believe it..!I-it's so good to see you again!!" He spoke happily. "Really?" She asked,a slight hint of joy that he was happy to see the girl again in her voice.

"What's going on?I..I thought you'd be half way across the galaxy by now. Aren't you worried about the diamonds coming to attack?" he questioned. "I got..distracted" she shyly admitted,keeping her arms crossed as she glanced towards the ground. "By this orb thing?what is it?" Steven asked,glancing behind her at the floating orb. "Promise you won't judge me?" "I sleep with a teddy bear. No judgement".

Lapis turnt around and placed a finger on the orb,the orb lighting up as it resembled Earth at her touch as she began gliding her hand across it. Selecting a spot,the area around them became a display of Beach City. "Wo-..!huh..?!Beach City?!please explain this to me!!" Steven begged,shock filling his voice. "This orb is an observation device. The diamonds used them to watch activities on their colonies from afar" she explained. She selected another area,a forest with yellow and orange leaves for fall. "Wow..can I try?" Steven asked in amaze. "Sure". Excitedly,he reached over and selected a area. The beach where he once took Sadie and Lars. "Woah..but..Lapis,what are you using it for?" He asked.

Lapis sighed and selected another familiar area. The beach. Currently,the crystal gems were all training as Tanzanite sat on a rock,watching in amaze at how skilled and passionate they were. Amethyst asked her if she wanted to try,to which she politely declined,explaining how she didn't really like to be involved in fighting.

"You're spying on us?" Steven asked,looking up at her. "Well I wouldn't call it spying..because that would make me feel bad.." "oh,Lapis.." "I couldn't stand not knowing what was going on..i'm so terrified of the diamonds coming to Earth,that I got just outside the milky way,and I..felt so lonely.." "so..why didn't you just come back..?" "I want to..!but I,just..can't. Not after the way I left!What would Peridot say..what if the diamonds show up?what if something bad happens?!" "Well,what if something good happens?!". In shock,she started laughing gripping her face in her palm as the laughter turnt to tears. "Uhm..Lapis?you okay?" He asked. Taking a deep breath,Lapis begun to sing.

(Read the story along with the song ☺️)

"It all became so lovely..those bluest skies above me..those funny feelings I had never felt before I met you.."

She glanced at him as she twirled,her dress elegantly following her movement as she cupped her hands.

"I thought i'd stay a while..i'd try to learn to smile..so many colors I had never even known..maybe I'll find myself sitting on that distant shore..maybe i'm not alone.."

She sat on her knees,the image of the gems laughing and smiling together. Then the orb turnt off before quickly turning back on again. It appeared to be glitching out according to her emotions.

"Then I see the colors fading..gentleness of light escaping.."

In fear,she tucked her head,gripping her ocean blue hair tightly.

"Shadows of my fear invading..have I seen this all before?I know!that there's something residing..the terror deep inside me..I couldn't understand how you could be so bold.."

Getting up,the images of the gems walked past her. Getting up as well,she watched as they walked by.

"Maybe i'll find myself smiling on that distant shore..maybe,i'm not..alone.."
~~~~~~~
The sun had now rose and her and Steven were sitting next to each other,Lapis wrapping her arms around her knees. "I might have overreacted..about the diamonds.." "you really think they're coming?" "I don't even know anymore..i've done so much because I was afraid..I left Peridot behind,I took the barn..and her morps.." "at least she has Pumpkin". Lapis sighed,a sad tone in her voice.

"I was so sure the diamonds would destroy my new home,that I did it myself..it's like i'm back inside the mirror,except I put myself here" "oh,the moon's not so bad!" "You kidding?!the moon sucks!there's nothing here!maybe i'm tired of running away..maybe i'd rather be with everyone and be in danger than be safe and alone.." "they'd be glad to have you back" "I don't know..If I went back now,there's no way things will go back to how they were.." "yeah,but that's alright. Things will just be different" "what do you mean?"she asked,looking at Steven with a lifted brow.

"Well," he began, "what if you weren't way out in the country?you could drop the barn on the beach,then we'd all be neighbors!i'd come over to borrow a cup of sugar,you'd be like 'what's that?' ". The two laughed at Stevens joke,cheering Lapis up. Steven yawned tiredly, "when you go back,we should all hang out more.." he let his eyes shut. Lapis smiled, "huh..when..I go back.." she repeated to herself,gazing up above at the sky.

(Steven's POV)
'But this is what you wanted!'

Steven snapped awake,his eyes flying open as he gasped at what he heard. "Lapis?" He looked around for the girl,only to find himself alone in a white room.

"You begged us for a colony of your own!" The  soft voice continued. Steven looked forward to see three silhouettes behind the orb talking. "And now all you want to do is get rid of it!first there's too many organics,and then their cities were to hard to dismantle,and now these 'Crystal Gems'!we're tired of your excuses,Pink!" The kneeling one lectured the smaller one,who refused to lift her head and make eye contact.

"The diamonds.."

"This 'Rose Quartz' won't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly gems!"

The little silhouette went to say something,only to be silenced by a raised hand. "Enough!" It dismissed,lifting her chin, "you must understand,you're a diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you..you don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave,show everyone you're unfazed by this little 'uprising'!your gems will fall into line,and these 'Crystal Gems' will be no more. As long as you are there to rule,this colony will be completed.". The taller figure walked away as the hooded one followed behind,leaving the little figure where she was. From behind Steven,out came a figure with a sword who resembled Pearl. The Pearl walked behind Pink as she drew her sword,and then..

Steven awoke. So it was a dream..

"Steven?" Lapis checked on him,placing a hand on his back, "are you okay?were you dreaming?" She asked. "I..I saw the diamonds.." "what?" Lapis got up,looking down at the boy seriously, "what are you talking about?" "I dreamt about them..they were right in this room.." "what does that mean?!are they coming?!" "I..I don't know.." "wh..what if they are?!what if they're close?why else would you see them?!Steven!!" She begged. Steven didn't answer,replaying what he saw in his mind. Pearl..

"Argh!!" Lapis groaned,running off. "Lapis!hold on!" He got up,chasing after her. When he caught up,Lapis pressed a button,opening the shuttle door. Steven almost got blown away by it,but was thankfully grabbed by Lion. "Where are you going?!" He yelled out.

"As far from Earth as I can!i'm leaving!you should he used to that by now.." "you don't have to run,Lapis!!j-just stay with us!!" "I don't know what I was thinking,i-i'm..i'm not like you and your friends,Steven!I can't just let go of what happened to me!!I can't go through that again.." "would you rather be alone?!" "..i'm sorry.." "wait!!"

But it was too late. She was already gone..again..