corner store boy•namjin

4

(namjoon)

i wake up in the morning with a pounding headache, and i'm completly naked. jin, also naked, is on the bed next to me. "shit"

i get up, throw my clothes on, and grab my keys. i run out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door. "shit, shit, SHIT!"

i unlock my car door, climbing in. i fucked up. i can't be in a relationship, i can't do this. i know i'll hurt jin, but i cant. its too soon. i'm not ready, and if jin knew half of me he wouldnt even want to be with me. i would hurt him anyways. i cant do it.

i speed off, going towards my apartment complex. i cuss under my breath the whole way there, mentally beating myself up. i never should have let that happen. i was too drunk, it was a mistake. i made a mistake.

when i pull into the parking spot in front of my building, i cry. it's been a while- not since my sister died, since i cried. i couldn't get into a relationship right now, not with everything going on. i had to get my shit together, buy this house, and get my nieces. thats all that matters. i dont have time for jin.

my phone dings, five times in a row. i look at it. its queenie and jin.

queenie: where the fuck are you!
i know you didnt leave jin here like that.

jin: where are you?
did you really just fuck and leave?
i was a virgin.

i cry harder. i felt bad for what i was doing, but i just couldn't deal with it now.

•••
(jin)

that asshole.

i was home now, laying in my bed staring at the wall. i couldn't believe what namjoon-that douche- did to me. it wasn't fair. i tristed him with my everything and he just left me alone. while i was asleep. and he hadn't responded to the three text i sent him, but he read them. i wasn't going to blow his phone up, i wasn't that type of person, but i was hurt.

i promised myself i would save my first time for someone special, and though i just meant namjoon, i felt comfortable with him. maybe that was the drugs thinking for me. but i can't believe he did that to me. i felt stupid, for even trusting him. queenie said it was probably a misunderstanding, and that namjoon had probably had an emergency, but he read both our text and didn't say anything.

i knew what kind of person he was now, and i regret even giving him the chance. how cold could one person be. take advantage of the niave little boy, sure. that's fair.

i couldn't get past my anger. how could he do that to me? i didn't understand. i did nothing wrong to him.

i began to cry silently. my phone rang, and i looked down. it was an unknown number. i answer anyways, sniffling. "hello"

"jin? its maliah from the party last night." how did she get my number?

"hey maliah." i say quietly, trying to mask my crying. i knew she could tell though.

"listen, namjoon is probably beating himself up for what he did. he's not that kind of person."

so people knew.

"well, it seems like he is that kind of person. i'll be fine, just please don't talk about me with him. if he's gonna ignore me, i don't want him to know anything about me or what im doing" i sounded pathetic.

"i'm sorry jin. listen, i gotta go, i just wanted to check on you." she says. "bye"

"bye."

i hang up. my anger overtakes me for a second. i throw my phone at the wall, and i hear my screen shatter. "fuck!"

i pick it up. the screen still works, but its shattered. i look up the bus route to the mall. i was due for a new phone anyways.

•••
(namjoon)

i lay in bed, looking at my phone. i'm trying to decide weather to call jin or not. i decide not to, so i delete his contact, then our text.

i'm a horrible person.

queenie, maliah and mariah were blowing my shit up. i just can't deal with it right now. i stand up, grabbing my keys off the table and tossing my phone on the couch. i'm going to disappear again.

i was scared. i knew that i was gay, i always have. but actually being gay, i wasn't ready. i had to go, now.

the drive to my cousins house was an hour. she would let me stay with her for a while. i would get a new phone, a new number, and avoid all of this until i was ready.