corner store boy•namjin

5

(jin)

i'm two am and i cant sleep.

i keep thinking of namjoon, the love we made. its been a month. he disappeared the day after we made love. queenie and everybody else have been blowing up his phone and looking for him. some of them think he got booked (which is apparently american slang for getting arrested) but queenie believed if he did he would have called her from jail.

i hadn't even tried to contact him after that morning. i feel empty, which is stupid, because i barley knew him. but i keep thinking about what could have been. its not healthy, but i cant help it.

queenie told me that when namjoon got back he would apologize to me and we could maybe be something, but i wasn't sure if i wanted it anymore. after he left me like that, i dont think i could just take him back.

my phone rings. its an unsaved number, but i decide to answer it anyways because i had applied to a few more places and i was waiting for call backs.

"hello" the familiar voice says through the speaker.

motherfucker.

"namjoon?" i say, shocked.

"yeah."

i hang up, then block the number. i text queenie.

namjoon called.

a few seconds later, my phone rings. its her.

"bitchhhhhh" she says when i answer. "what did he say? what happened? did he apologize?"

"i hung up."

"why?"

i hear the anger in her voice. i didn't want to make her mad, she wanted me to forgive him and be with him. but i just dont think i can put myself in that situation again. i don't want to be hurt. he alreadt did.

"i'm not giving him another chance." i say. she screams, loud, and i pull the phone away from my ear. "chill the fuck out."

"why not? i promise you jin, he wont do it again." she defnds. "wait, he's calling me. hold on."

she hangs up. i sigh, tossing my phone onto my bed. i then get up, ready to take a shower. i walk into my bathroom, turning the hot water all the way up. i strip slowly, then hop into the steaming hot water. i had alot to think about, so i knew i would be in here for at least an hour.

i had to make a decision about namjoon.

•••
(namjoon)

jin hung up on me. and blocked my number.

i called queenie afterwards, because i knew he talked to her right away. she told me he didn't want to give me another chance. i knew it was going to happen, but it still hurt.

that's what i get for running off on him.

i pull up to the front of queenie's house. i get out of my car, grabbing my bag from the passenger seat, and locking the doors. i walk up to her door, doing my signature knock, i light a cigarette with the other hand. she opens the door and smiles.

"hey joonie, its been a while."

"hell yeah" i dap her up, walking through the front door. "since i been gone so long i figured i could smoke you up."

mariah and maliah were sitting on the couch. maliah looked angry, and mariah was smoking a blunt. "damn, yall betrayed me."

"boy, you were gone for a month." she says. "what was i supposed to do? not smoke while you was gone? DEAD."

"you got that." i say, sitting in one of the armchairs mext to the couch. i put my cigarette out in the ashtray and pull to blunts out of the front pocket of my bag. i had one to queenie and light it. mariah passed hers to maliah. i hit mine, leaning back into the chair.

"so where the fuck was you at?" queenie asks, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. she lights the blunt i gave her.

"you know, i went up to PA with my cousin." i say. "like last time."

"yeah well atleast last time you had the decency to fucking tell us you were leaving. i just hit you up to buy some grass and after you didnt answer for TWO DAYS, i flipped the fuck out." maliah says, blowing smoke out of her mouth. queenie passes a blunt to me, so i pass mine to mariah.

"i'm sorry. i should have said something. but i really needed a break."

"no, you were running away from jin because you cant accept that you like dick" maliah says. she passes her blunt over to queenie.

"maybe you're right. i'm ready now but i guess jin is angry. not that i don't understand why. i would be angry if he had done that to me. i know i was wrong and i want him to know i'm sorry and i wouldnt do it again, but i know he won't forgive me. some things just can't be forgiven." i say, "he has every right to not talk to me. i just wish he would."

"you fucked up boy." mariah says. queenie passes a blunt to me. "he still seems messed up over you. you do know he was a virgin right? like you done took this boy virginity and left him. you didn't even wait til he woke up."

i feel tears welling in my eyes. "i was a virgin too."

"that doesn't matter!" queenie yells, clapping between words. "you were a virgin, cool. but YOU left HIM. you made that choice."

i feel the tears falling. i pass my blunt to mariah. "i fucked up."

"fuck yeah you did" she's still yelling. i get up, grabbing my back pack of the floor.

"i'm gonna make it up to him. i have to do something." i say, wiping my tears. "i want to be with him."

i walk out, and queenie yells after me. "he's not going to forgive you."

A/N

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