Tempt》Chris Schistad

fourteen

I couldn't do anything but stare.

In the short amount of time that I've come to know the third year boy ,all his actions have been a series of predictable movements. He's never done something that I haven't partly expected him too.

The first time we actually  met
•I wasn't coherent and he helped me. Now that may not be in his nature but it didn't shock me seeing as he obviously had other motives.
Our second actual encounter, he smooth talked me by my lockers and ended up making me late so I got into trouble- that charm is  a Schistad trait and therefore once again predictable.
When I found out he had been getting with some random girl at school = predictable .
When I found out he had a girlfriend this entire time yet was still continuing to fuck around = predictable.
All his flirtatious words and affections = predictable, heck even sleeping with me was completely predictable.

But this. Feelings. I'd say is pretty fucking unpredictable.

I felt this lump begin to form in my throat. My words were shut inside my mouth. Unable to escape.

I could tell he was waiting for an answer. One I wasn't able to give him.
In a perfect world I'd leap into his arm and our eyes would glisten with hope for our love. But this isn't that.

Chris has hurt so many girls in his past.
All of which he's probably confessed his feelings to ,whether his words held truth or not. Soley based on that ,How would I ever be sure he wasn't just saying this?
He's done it on numerous occasions . Why me? Why would I be any different ?

His eyes were forced down. Unsure and almost worried about what my response would be.

"Chris" I slightly shook my head about to repeat my thoughts to him.

"Just nevermind,forget I said anything."

"Chris just let me speak,okay?"

He looked back down avoiding eye contact. Was he embarrassed ?

"I can't do this. Im sorry. I know you'll hurt me,or worse."

His chin lifted slightly almost connecting with my gaze.

"What could possibly be worse than me hurting you. I could never bring myself to do that to you."

"Me hurting you.  Thats what."
"Chris just respect my decision. We would never work. Not in the real world. Not in this lifetime."

We didn't speak to much to each other for the resrt of the afternoon, it wasn't hostile or anything though. Just quiet. In a way where we weren't sure if the other was about to take their turn and speak first ,all that ended up doing is result in nobody taking the initiative.

I kept thinking if I was overthinking this whole situation. I know that denying myself this temporary happiness of being with Chris would save me so much pain in the future.

Throughout the next few days that blurred into weeks,Chris and I didn't speak. We'd made eye contacts in the hallway a few times and flashed a slight smile,but nothing to even think twice about.
Things were so much worse than before he showed up looking for me.
This was it. The end of me and him. The final rejection.