Nap Queen

Seventeen

I remember the kiss.

The complete newness of it, and the way his body felt against mine. That strange boy whom I wasn't even friends with. 

I remember letting go and not caring... in the moment. 

I remember waking in Brandon's arms not once but twice and crying, knowing that any chance I'd had before at staying at school was ruined. There was no way my mom would let me return now.

I remember the numb feeling that overcame me as Brandon carried me out before the first bell. I'd had no way of knowing that the day before would be my last day at Somerset High. I recall the panic that overtook me as I realized I truly would not walk the halls as a student again and would instead be forced to do online school with the strange kids. 

I remember Boston and Ollie coming out to help get me in the car. I really didn't want to leave. I ran around to avoid them but they grabbed me and were putting me in the car. It was much easier when I had another attack and fell limp in their arms. 

Blinking in and out of consciousness, it was difficult not to hear Brandon's frantic shouts into the phone to mom, to the hospital, to the school, to our friends.

But oh how I remembered the kiss. 

***

I wake up in a bright room that is not my own and everything comes crashing back. My head is stitched up where I hit it against the locker, my face and chest are covered in electrodes. The team of neurosurgeons, psychiatrists, hopeful interns, and scholastic journalists are all outside. I can tell because there's so many of them that I can hear them from in here.

For now though, it's just my mom, and Brandon, and me.

Mom is asleep, but Brandon is looking right at me.

"Are you mad?" I ask.

"I could never be angry with you Evie, it's just that...well." he sighs "You know better. The kind of overload it could have been, that it was."

"I'm sorry, I didn't exactly plan it."

"That's the other thing, you say you and Liam aren't a thing. So imagine my surprise when I come to drop your pills off and there the two of you are practically fucking against the lockers." I jump at the fierceness of his tone.

"It was just a kiss." 

"Was it worth it?"

The feeling of Liam... it was addictive even for the split second I had him, but was it worth the risk of never seeing my friends at school again? I decide no, especially since he didn't really give me a chance to say no before he captured my mouth. It's just that if I had another chance to kiss him...no hesitation I would do it. 

"I just wish it hadn't happened at school." I say finally.

"You don't know him, E" 

"Maybe I want to." 

Brandon sighs and walks over. 

"I hope you know what your doing." He says pressing a kiss to my cheek. 

He wakes mom up telling her that they need to leave and waiting patiently for her to fuss over me for a bit and then they make for the door. Good Luck he mouths, and then he alerts the officials that I've woken up.

So many questions and tests and opinions all for a minor accident. 

Every inquiry of my health send me further and further from happiness until once again I fall asleep, this time from the overwhelming sadness on my chest.