Ambivalent {Zadr} (Discontinued)

-6-

The house was completely demolished.

Tables, couches, and every other piece of furniture were covered in scratch marks, with some being fully ripped apart. All electronics were nowhere to be seen, the only trace of them being shattered glass on the floor. The only thing that wasn't completely broken was the lightbulb illuminating the living room. That was it. Everything else was left in ruins, as if a twister had passed through the building. Dib shuddered. And then, he noticed something else that was wrong with the house. Something much more disturbing.

There was pink blood everywhere.

Dib felt sick to his stomach. He knew that he needed to find Zim before he bled to death. "Zim?!" He called out. "Gir?!" There was no response. He carefully entered the house, avoiding all of the broken furniture lying around. He would have to fix that part of the problem later. "Zim?!" He tried again. "Gir?! Anybody?!" This time, he heard muffled giggling coming from underneath him.

He took a step back, startled, and watched as Gir jumped out of a large pile of glass. "Hiya Mary!" He squeaked. Dib gave him a small wave. "Hey Gir. Do you know where Zim is?" He asked the robot, hoping that he would get a real answer. Gir nodded. "Mhmm!" Then, he grabbed Dib's hand and led him towards the kitchen. "He over there!" He shouted, pointing to one of the kitchen walls. And surely enough, there he was.

Zim had his back to the others, and was staring at the wall, blankly. He was sitting on the floor with his knees up to his chest. All around him was writing in what Dib assumed was Irken. And from the clues he was getting, they probably didn't say good things. "Zim?" He asked, concerned. "Can you hear me?" One of his antennae twitched, giving Dib hope. He slowly put his hand on the alien's shoulder. "Go away," Zim said solemnly. He didn't make an attempt to move his hand, however. He just sat there, sulking.

"Zim, I want to apologize," Dib started slowly. "I want to apologize for not listening to you, and...for lashing out," he said, feeling guilty all over again. "You shouldn't be sorry. What you said was correct, Dib-stink," Zim responded simply. "Everything was. I really do destroy everything around me. And... I hurt others as well." He turned his tear-stained face to look at the human. "I didn't mean to hurt them, Dib. I just... couldn't stand there and let them harm me. I'm sorry."

Dib cupped his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Zim. You were just defending yourself, right?" Zim nodded his head. He then turned his whole body around to face Dib. "So, are you comfortable with sharing what happened that night?" The human asked softly. Zim nodded, once again. Then, he took a deep breath.

"After I left your base, I got a call from Gir. He asked me to get a few materials from the store, as we were running low on supplies. I had a bad feeling, but I chose to ignore it. And, I paid the price. Everything was fine until..." he winced. "Until someone pulled me into an alleyway. Soon enough, there were five humans surrounding me. Torque was in the middle of them, and I knew he didn't have good intentions."

Zim looked at the ground. He hesitated, but then continued. "He hurt me, he hurt me really bad, but as soon as one of his friends said something to him, he stopped. Or at least, I thought he did. He... said something about me being 'gay' and 'disgusting'. And then he said that since I am those things, I wanted to be 'fucked'."

He hesitated again. "I don't know what those words mean, but after what he did, I don't want to know," Zim stated, before pausing. "What did he do?" Dib asked, clearly concerned for Zim, but also pissed at Torque. He knew that he could be a jerk, but from Zim was saying, he could've been faced with criminal charges if he, and the others, were still alive. That was way more than he expected of him. "He pushed me against the wall more and... used his mouth organ against my neck," Zim spoke again, unable to look the human in the eyes. "I didn't like it, Dib. It felt disgusting... I felt disgusting." Tears clouded his vision. "I felt so vulnerable, so... horrified. So, I lashed out, and killed them."