Something Big

Chapter 4

Shawn POV:
    Three weeks, it's been three weeks since that night in Tokyo.  I left for Pickering the same day I landed in LA because I went to Camila's house and she wasn't there.  She hasn't been answering my calls or texts, and I am starting to give up hope.  One of my oldest friends Taylor Swift and I have been dying to do a collaboration for years.  When she released her song Lover in August this year I instantly fell in love with the song because of what the lyrics meant to her.  The song reminded me of Camila so much and how in love with her I am.  If I am going to be able to win back Camila I am going to do it the only way I know how and that's through music.  I want to collaborate with Taylor on a remix for Lover, but I have to tell her everything that happened in Tokyo first which is not going to be easy because her and Camila are also pretty close.  She could've told Taylor what happened in Tokyo and then my chances of getting her back are really done because she won't even give me the time of day anymore.  Her family is even ignoring me at this point, so me trying to explain to them what really happened or talking to her through them is a long shot.  I am going to take my chances and call Taylor to tell her everything and ask if we can collaborate on a remix for Lover.  I went to her name in my phone contacts and she answered after the first ring.  "Hey Shawn what's up kid?"  She wasn't yelling at me and she didn't sound pissed, so I assumed that Camila hadn't told her anything.  I might still have a chance.  "Hey Taylor umm I have to talk to you about something, and I am going to need you to keep an open mind about what I am about to tell you."  I could hear her take a deep breath from the other end of the line before responding.  "Shawn is everything okay, what's going on?"  "This is going to be kind of painful for me to tell, so please stick with me."  "Okay."  "Okay.  Uhh Camila left me in October.  Uhh I learned later on from Andrew that she went to surprise me in Tokyo, but when she went to the club we were at she saw something."  The line was completely dead silent that I felt I needed to check to make sure she was still here.  "Hello."  "Yeah Shawn I'm here."  "Okay so that night we were all really drunk especially me, and I went to the bathroom when a woman forced herself on me.  Mind you I thought she was just trying to help me get to the bathroom, but no she took me in her arms and before I knew it, I came to like 30 seconds later and she was all over me."  I could hear her faintly whisper, "Wow.", but I just kept going on with the story.  "I managed to get myself out of her grasp and took off to the bathroom, and walked back into the private room that all the guys were in.  That's when Andrew told me that Camila had come to surprise me that night, and that he hadn't seen her since she got to the club 15 minutes before.  I put two and two together and realized that she must have seen it all happen."  "Shawn so you're telling me that a woman forced herself on you and Camila saw it all.  Did you try talking to her to tell her what actually happened?"  "Of course I did.  I flew to LA that night because that's where we were going to meet and she wasn't there.  It's been three weeks of her dodging my calls and texts.  Her family won't even talk to me."  "Well Shawn think about it how would you have felt if the roles were reversed?  You would've been devastated right?"  "Of course I would be devastated, but I would trust her because I know she loves me and would never do that to me.  I did not mean for this to happen.  I would never hurt her like that ever she is the love of my life.  Taylor I picked out a promise ring I was going to give her once I saw her in LA.  I would never cheat on her she's the one.  I want to marry her and have kids with her.  For god's sake I've been in love with her since I was 16.  Please tell me you believe me."  She couldn't see it, but I had tears pouring down my cheeks.  "Yes Shawn I believe you, but only because I myself don't believe you're capable of hurting her since I know you've been in love with her since day 1.  My question is why did you call me to tell me this after almost a month?"  "I am losing hope Tay.  I am so damn terrified that I have lost her, and believe me when I say that I cannot live without her.  I can't eat, I can't sleep, hell I feel like I can't breathe.  These past three weeks have felt like an eternity.  I know it sounds like I am being dramatic, but if I lose her I will die Taylor."  "You're not being dramatic Shawn she's the love of your life I get it.  I would feel the same way if I was you, but this still doesn't answer my question why tell me?"  "I don't know how else to tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am besides through music, so I am here to ask you if you would collab with me on a remix of my favorite song of yours Lover?  I want to tell her through music how much she means to me and how much I love her."  "Shawn you know how long I have been dying to collaborate with you, so of course you can it would be an honor.  You are an amazing songwriter, so I know that the parts you rewrite and make your own about Camila will be beautiful."  "I want her to hear this as soon as possible, so I am going to write the lyrics and produce it here in Australia and then send it to you. Is that okay?"  "Yeah.  I'm excited I can't wait to hear it Shawn.  Knowing you it's going to be amazing, and if she still doesn't believe you then I am telling her myself."  "Thank you so much for this Taylor it means more than you know.  Also thank you for believing me you didn't have to do that.  Thank you again."  "Of course Shawn.  Bye."  "Bye Taylor."  As soon as I hung up the phone, I felt some of the weight lift from my shoulders, some not all of it.  Because I still have to write and produce this in under a week.  Oh and I have to get Camila to hear it and believe me still after hearing it.  I don't have a show until the ninth in Auckland, so I want to try and write as much as I can by then, but first I needed to share my plan with Andrew and Zubin.  I decided it was easier to just tell the whole team to come to my hotel room and have a team meeting.  I texted them to meet at my room in 10 minutes and that it was urgent.  Ten minutes later I heard a knock on my hotel room door.  "Okay guys no I am not dying no one is dying, so please you guys can stop looking so worried."  Andrew spoke up first, "Shawn what's with the team meeting then?"  "I wanted to tell you all that in an effort to win Camila back I am going to collaborate with Taylor Swift on a remix for Lover, and I want it to be done and ready to be released by this time next week."  They all looked at me in shock, but Andrew looked queasy.  "Shawn are you serious you really think that you can pull this off I mean you're literally in the middle of tour.  Plus how in the hell are you going to produce this in that amount of time?"  "I will do whatever I have to do Andrew and  Zubin will help me."  I look over at Zubin and he just nods.  "See he will help me.  Thanks Z.  All I know is if I don't do this now I am going to lose her forever, and trust me when I say I cannot lose her."  "Okay Shawn I need to go tell the label about this.  There shouldn't be any problems because a collab with Taylor is good for anyone's career."  Everyone left the room except Zubin.  "You're crazy buddy, but that's one of the things I admire about you Shawn.  Now let's get to getting your girl back."  We sat in the hotel room for hours, and by midnight I had all the lyrics written.  I kept looking at the piece of paper where I had the lyrics written and kept reading them over and over again in my head.  Zubin had just left to his own room like 30 minutes ago, so I could be alone with the lyrics.  I read them back to myself,  "We could light a bunch of candles And dance around the kitchen, baby Pictures of when we were young would hang on the wall We would sit on the stoop I'll sing love songs to you when we're eighty See, I finally got you now, honey, I won't let you fall."  I wanted more than anything to have Camila back and to one day grow old together.  When I see my future I see her in it because she is my future.  "Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth The girl in my story has always been you I'd go down with the Titanic, it's true, for you, lover."  are my favorite lyrics because this is me trying to tell her that I would die for her because I would.  I added the Titanic reference because it was one of the last movies we saw together and, I know how much she loves that movie.  Plus who doesn't want a love as epic as Rose and Jack?  Well maybe an epic love with a happier ending.  All I know is that I poured my heart out into these lyrics, and I hope this works because I don't even want to think about if it doesn't.  I finished my last show of this leg last night, so all that is left is for me to put the finishing touches on the song because Zubin helped me a lot with it last night.  We are about to catch our flight back to LA which means that we need to have this whole song produced by the time we land, so that Taylor and our teams can listen to it.  "So Zubin what do you think buddy?  Do you think this is enough to win her back?"  "Shawn we all know you didn't do anything wrong, and we all know how much you love her, but take it from me that this is not going to be easy.  You broke her heart it's going to take a lot more than a song to fix things between you two.  Yes the song is beautiful and it shows how much you truly love her, but you're going to have to earn that trust back."  I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I just hope that her hearing the song and the lyrics I wrote for her reminds her that I love her and only her.  "I know it's not going to be easy Z, but it just frustrates me that I have to earn back her trust in the first place because I didn't do anything wrong."  "Shawn you need to get that idea out of your head already.  Yes you did nothing wrong, but to her you did it all wrong."  "Yeah I get what you're saying Zubin thank you again for helping me with this entire thing."  "Don't mention it, but feel free to credit me when you get her back."  We landed in LA and Andrew went straight to meet with the labels, and I went straight to my place, so I could facetime Taylor and listen to it with her.  "Hey T I finished it.  You ready to listen?"  "You finished it already wow that's amazing.  Yes I've been dying to hear it all week."  I could tell that she was at the edge of her seat because my lyrics don't come until a minute after she starts singing.  Then the look on her face when she heard them was priceless.  She had tears rolling down her cheeks, and we both didn't say anything until the song was completely over.  "Shawn. Shawn. A warning next time would be great because I am a mess.  This is beautiful.  I knew that you wouldn't disappoint you are an amazing songwriter.  The way you told your love story of your past, present and future is breathtaking Shawn wow."  "Thank you so much Taylor you have no idea what it means to me to be able to have done this collaboration with you on this amazing song that has meant so much to me since the day it was released.  To be able to add my own story to a song that you wrote.  You who I have looked up to for so long."  "Shawn you may say that you look up to me, but the feeling is mutual buddy.  I can't wait for the rest of the world to hear it.  I think the teams already have it so that it is released this Thursday, so I will call you then.  Hang in there Shawn, love you buddy."  There really isn't anything that I can do here in LA, so I am going home to Pickering tomorrow to be with my family when the song comes out.  Mum, dad and Aaliyah picked me up from the airport in Toronto, and on the car ride over I told them that I collaborated on a remix with Taylor for Lover and that it is my last ditch effort to win Camila back.  The day it happened in October I facetimed them and told them what happened.  Mum and dad were both disappointed and sad because they know how much I adore Camila and thought how could I be so stupid to jeopardize our relationship.  "Okay guys this is the whole song mixed together with both my new parts and Taylor's original parts."  For the whole four minutes of the song the car was dead silent except for sniffles coming from my mom in the front seat and Aaliyah sitting next to me.  I decided that I needed to break the silence and ask them what they think.  "What do you guys think?"  My sister spoke up first while cleaning away the tears from her cheeks with the sleeve from her sweater.  "Big brother this is beautiful.  I can tell you're totally in love with Camila, but you really think that after what happened that night that this is enough to win her back?  Because if I was in her shoes and you were Jordan I would not make it easy for you."  "Your sister is right Shawn.  You may have just professed your love for Camila to the world, but it still does not solve the issue that she thinks you cheated on her.  There are certain mistakes that no matter how much you love someone they are just unforgivable.  Even though we know you didn't mean it, you shouldn't have let this happen in the first place Shawn."  I wanted to respond to my mum, but my dad said something before I could.  "Son I know how much you love Camila we all do.  I at least have known she was THE ONE for a long time Shawn.  I know you really want this to work, but I think you need to be prepared for when it doesn't.  I'm not trying to be negative, but your mother is right in no way is this going to be enough.  Hopefully this reminds her how much you love her and she decides to finally talk to you, so you can tell her what really happened."  My parents were saying everything that I was dreading to acknowledge.  "I understand what you're saying mum and dad, and I am going to try my best to get her to understand because I don't know have an alternative.  I can't see my life without her."  When we got to our house in Pickering I went straight up to my bedroom saying goodnight despite mum telling me that she would have dinner ready in an hour.  I repeated the same routine I'd done every night for a month checking all my calls, texts, emails and social media for any sign of Camila, and the same thing nothing.  I didn't feel like taking a shower, so I just went straight to bed.  "Camila babe come here I have something to show you."  I was about to play her the remix I did for Lover with Taylor that she had no idea about.  I had the lights off and candles lit around the kitchen.  "Coming baby."  She was walking from our bedroom into the kitchen in nothing but a pair of underwear and one of my hoodies.  "Shawn what the heck is going on.  I mean I'm not complaining it looks beautiful, but what the heck is going on?"  I pulled her into my arms and started to kiss her neck.  "Can't a guy light a bunch of candles in his kitchen and ask his girlfriend to dance with him?"  "Well of course he can, but he hasn't asked yet."  "My love may I have this dance?"  "Yes you may."  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed play on the song and took her into my arms.  I wrapped my arms around her waist and she put her arms around my neck and we just swayed until we got to my part of the song.  "Shawn oh my god is that you singing what is this?  When did you do this?"  She had tears running down her cheeks.  "Yes it is me and a couple of days ago.  Taylor and I finally did our collaboration."  "It's beautiful baby.  By the way the boy in my story has always been you, and I would definitely go down with the Titanic for you.  Also I'm your lover eh?"  She reached up on her tippy toes and kissed me on my lips.  I woke up, and I found myself in my childhood bedroom in Pickering which meant that whatever that was.  It was all just a dream, a beautiful dream.  Before I knew it, it was Thursday the day that the song is getting released to the world, and hopefully the day that the love of my life talks to me again, so I can tell her the truth of it all.  Taylor just made her announcement on her Instagram about the collaboration and I just posted it on mine now all I have to do is wait.  My dad and sister were sitting with me in the living room and mum yelled from the kitchen that breakfast was done.  "Shawn did you know that Camila is performing and is being honored in NYC at the Times 100 Next event?"  I had completely forgotten that she was in NYC today.  She is literally a 10 hour car ride away right now, and I know that she is totally going to be staying at her place in NYC.  Now is my chance to try and talk to her because I know exactly where she is for the first time in a month.  "Thank you for reminding me mum.  I am going to drive to NYC right now and meet her at her place.  I need to talk to her and clear all this up."  My family looked at me in shock and my mum started to shake her head.  "Shawn are you sure that is the best idea showing up at her place unannounced and more importantly uninvited?"  My dad interrupted and of course backed me up, "Go Shawn.  Go win back your girl.  Go."  I went and kissed each of them and ran up the stairs to my bedroom to grab my things.  I couldn't forget the ring.  "Bye everyone I will call you once I am in NYC."  A little over halfway through the drive I put on the livestream of the red carpet and Camila was about to be interviewed.  They asked her if we were going to collaborate on another song soon, and she said that "we collaborate on life".  What the hell does that mean?  Does she still see us having a life together?  Does she still think about me and if she does then why has she been dodging me for a month?  Then it hit me that it wouldn't be good for her to publicly trash me, so it could be that she's putting on a show.  The next three hours went by in a flash and I found myself outside the door of her place palms sweaty I took a deep breath in and knocked on her door.  It opened and there she was standing right in front of me after one long month. 

If you stuck around for all 3500+ words.  I thank you it means a lot to me.  Sorry it was super long, but I really wanted to dive into Shawn's headspace!
-S