Before you read: Thank you for being so patient with me throughout this whole story. This is a little long, but I did it for a reason because I feel like I don't go into how he feels and his mind enough. Enjoy and don't forget to like comment.
~S
Shawn POV:
I woke up in a bed that wasn't my own and for once I liked the feeling. Not sleeping and getting to wake up next to Camila for weeks was a nightmare and knowing that I hurt her made it ten times worse, but waking up next her never ceased to make my heart skip a beat. I looked over at the beautiful woman laying next to me. She had her right palm under her cheek and her left hand was cupping the small little belly that was peeking out from under her shirt. I inched closer to her tiny baby bump and gently nudged my face against it, the warmth of her skin sent sparks right through me. I pressed my lips against her belly and began humming a melody of Twinkle Little Star, being this close to my unborn child felt so special. I was so sure that it was going to be a girl. It was as if we already had a daddy-daughter bond, she may not know it yet, but I am so excited to be her daddy and for her to be my little princess. I just couldn't wait to meet her, to hold her in my arms. This little baby has the best mommy in the whole universe, there's no question. How her momma chose to forgive me for all the things I've done was something I'll be eternally grateful for. Camila Cabello, the love of my life and the mother of my child. I smiled and looked at her, a beyond perfect human being. I still don't understand how I got so lucky. I kissed her belly again and started whispering to our baby. "Hi sweetheart it's your daddy. God I can't wait to meet you." A few tears started to form in my eyes, and I let out a few sniffles, but I didn't want to wake Camila up because she looks so peaceful asleep, so I knew I needed to keep my voice down. "You're gonna hear me say that a lot until you're finally here, but don't be getting any ideas because you gotta stay cooking in there. I feel so bad about everything that's happened over the last few months between your mom and I. I don't know what I would've done had your mommy not forgiven me. Had mommy not forgiven me I wouldn't be talking to you right now, and I only just found out about you yesterday, but I can't imagine my life without you, or your mommy. I love you so much baby girl." I was taken out of my trance when I heard Camila's voice come from above me. "Mommy feels horrible for not trusting daddy and for keeping you a secret from him for a month." I looked up at her shyly. "How much of that did you hear Mila?" I couldn't help the heat that was coming from within me, and I could feel my cheeks getting red because I was afraid that she would think my actions were silly and make fun of me. "The ending of Twinkle Little Star up until you calling our baby boy a girl." I felt my cheeks get redder, so I just looked down and gave her small bump a kiss. Thinking back at her previous words I couldn't help but mentally kick myself for it because even though none of it meant anything I still gave her a reason to lose faith in me. "I'm sorry for giving you a reason not to trust me, I swear that it will never happen again. Also stop calling our daughter a boy she can hear you." I was waiting for her snide comment about me continuing to call the baby a girl, but I was met with no sassy comeback surprisingly. "I hate to ruin the moment, but I've been waiting to pee for like 10 minutes, and I think my bladder might burst." I couldn't help but laugh at typical Camila always waiting forever until she literally almost pees on herself. "Babe why didn't you say anything sooner?" I helped her up off the bed and she walked to her bathroom. "I don't know, maybe because you were being adorable, and I didn't want to ruin the moment." She was about to walk out of her bathroom, but I stopped her before she could because when she stands to her side you can really see her belly is showing. "Hey stop right there the lightning looks great where you're standing. Pull up your shirt, so I can take a picture of your belly." I got my phone from her nightstand and started snapping away. I couldn't help but bask at how stunning she truly is, even more so carrying our child. "You're going to be an amazing dad you know that." If I didn't already feel tears coming on you bet your ass they were coming in full force now. "I hope so Camila. I always hoped that one day we would have kids. I just feel like I've missed out on a lot, and I don't want to miss anymore, so I want to take a picture of you every week to watch you two grow." She put her shirt back down and walked back to sit next to me on her bed. She placed her hand on my cheek and looked straight into my eyes and spoke. "Hey stop beating yourself up about it, and you didn't miss much there's barely a bump here," she said as she put her hand on her stomach. "Plus you've only missed a few appointments it's not that big a deal. We have crazy careers we're going to both miss some things, but that doesn't mean either of us loves this baby any less." The tears were still running down my cheeks and they didn't show any signs of stopping. She brought her hands back to my cheeks and gently wiped away the tears. She could try to tell me all she wanted that I hadn't missed much or that I am already a great dad, but I will never forgive myself for not being there the day that she heard the baby's heartbeat for the very first time. "I missed the first time to see the baby and hear it's heartbeat, so thank you for trying to make me feel better, but I won't forgive myself for that." "If it makes you feel any better before we leave tonight why don't I call my doctor in LA and have her book an appointment for us tomorrow morning so you can hear the baby's heartbeat and get to see it now that hopefully it looks more like a baby than a bean." I have been dying to get to see the baby since she told me it existed last night, so I couldn't help but smile. "Come on let's go make some breakfast before we have to catch our flight." Wait a damn minute did the worst cook in America seriously just ask the worst cook in Canada to go make breakfast like we won't both burn her place down? I burst out laughing she can't be serious right now. She looked back at me super annoyed. Great, I'm in trouble now. "What's so funny?" "You said we're cooking breakfast, but you and I both know that we can't cook to save our lives. I mean unless you wanna burn this condo down to the ground." She rolled her eyes at me and reached over and hit me hard on my chest. "Ow. What was that for?" She can actually punch pretty hard, damn. "That was for doubting my ability to cook." I could see her fist coming back towards my chest, but I was too late to dodge it. "What the heck. What was that for?" She didn't even say anything she just started laughing, and I don't think this is funny at all because that shit actually hurt a lot. She looked at me teasingly, "No reason just playing". Oh so she wanted to play eh, alright then playing we shall. I pulled her into my arms and wrapped them around her, and whispered into her ear. "You wanna play, eh." Her body started feeling hotter against mine, and I knew what she wanted. "Shawn stop." "Stop what love?" Hey she started it, and I am just playing along. I started kissing her neck and my fingertips were tracing down her arms. "Shawn..." I could hear her breathing become heavier and heavier as I kept kissing her. Who am I kidding I could feel my own heart trying to pound out of my chest. "Shawn my mom is in the other room. We can't have sex right now as much as I really, really want to." Oh well she wanted to tease me now I get my revenge. I mean don't get me wrong I wanted her a lot right now, but I would never do it while her mama was in the same house. I kept kissing her neck, and then her chest until I made my way down to her bump lifted up her shirt and planted one final kiss right above her belly button. "Uhh Shawn." I heard her say from above me, so I stood up. "Yeah." If she could eat me with her eyes she would have. I guess being pregnant really does that. She jumped into my arms and tackled me onto her bed. I was looking up at her form above me. "Wow. What happened to no sex while mama is in the same house?" She started kissing my neck and then I flipped her over and crashed my body into hers. "Oh fuck that. I want you. Right now." She then crashed her lips into mine. How the hell am I going to prevent myself from not having sex with her right here right now? "You're really eager today, aren't you?" I ran my hands up her body and each touch sent sparks right through me. "Shut up and kiss me already" she said as she tugged on my hair. I let out a groan, gave her one final kiss and got off of her. "Shaaaawn I thought we were gonna do it" she said to be super annoyed. "Not when Mama's here." "Geeeeez you tease. I hate you. I was really looking forward to having sex with you." I was really looking forward to having sex with her too, but we can't always get what we want. I helped her up off her bed and bowed. "What can I say it's a gift." She looked at me and rolled her eyes, "God our kid is going to be so weird". Yeah our kid is going to be weird with her and I as its mum and dad. I took her hand in mine and opened her bedroom door. The second I opened her door I instantly smelled bacon which meant only one thing that her mama was awake. This was going to get awkward really fast because she still thinks I cheated on her daughter. Camila broke the awkward silence in the room. "Buenos dias mama." We went and sat down at the breakfast bar in front of the stove where she was in the middle of flipping a pancake in a pan. Camila must have noticed the stern look she was giving me because she elbowed me in my ribs. I took it as my cue to say hi to her. "Good morning mama." She looked away from me and turned her confused gaze to Camila. "So... what's going on here, Camila? Are you guys back together again?" Was she going to be upset that we got back together? Was she going to believe that what happened was a mistake? "I.. uh... yeah. It was kind of a huge misunderstanding." She still looked super confused and pissed. "Oh." said Mama. "Shawn didn't willingly cheat. He explained to me what happened, and I really don't want to get into the details right now, so just trust me mama." "I do trust you Camila. Have you told him about..." She may trust her because she's her daughter but that doesn't mean she trusts me. "Uh yeah he knows and it's kind of obvious now that I'm showing a little. That reminds me I need to call Dr. Phillips to have her schedule us that ultrasound appointment." Before she left to make her call I wanted to ask her about what she was going to be up to for the next week. Because we haven't talked in weeks I really don't have any clue where she's at in her career and schedule. "So Mila what are your plans for the rest of the week?" "I am filming the music video for Living Proof on Sunday that's about it. How about you?" It made me pretty happy to hear that she didn't have a ton to do this week because I am really looking forward to making up for lost time. "I know you are hardly on social media these days, but I am going to be on John's Instagram live show, Current Mood on Sunday." We were both going to be basically free the rest of the week except Sunday. "Okay so perfect I will make the appointment for tomorrow. Oh, I also wanted to talk to you I think I want a tattoo." Wait did she just seriously say she wants a tattoo? She has always respected my love for tattoos, but she has said that she never saw herself getting any so this really shocked me. "Really? I thought you always said you wouldn't get one." "Yeah, but I really want one and LA is the perfect place so will you accompany me?" It felt so special that she was going to get her first tattoo with me, and I wouldn't want to miss that for the world. "Yeah of course I will someone needs to be there to hold your hand. Plus I have been wanting to get Aaliyah's initial tattooed." She let out a sarcastic laugh as if I was wrong. It was her first tattoo she was bound to shed some tears. "Cool. Oh and for the record the only one that will be doing any hand holding will be me holding yours because we both know you're gonna cry." I rolled my eyes at her and took a sip of the orange juice from the glass mama had just placed on the counter for me a minute ago. "I'll be right back, I'm going to my bedroom to call Dr. Phillips." She got off the stool at the breakfast bar and walked towards her bedroom. She had been gone for at least a minute, and in that minute neither Sinu nor I said a word to each other. I was just about to talk to her about how the hell I can learn to cook, but she interrupted my train of thought with her words. She grabbed eggs from the counter and started to crack them into a bowl. "Shawn I am going to be honest I always wanted to believe that it wasn't true or that it was a misunderstanding because I know how much you love my daughter." Hearing from her mouth that she always had faith in me and my love for Camila means a lot. I have known Sinu Cabello since I was 16, and she has always been like a second mom to me. "I love her more than anything Sinu. Her and the baby." It was still crazy saying the word baby and love in the same sentence, but I do love the baby already more than anything in the world. "She was a mess for the past month Shawn. On one hand she was dealing with her pregnancy, on the other she was dealing with appearances for her album and preparations. She didn't sleep or eat for days after it happened, but she had to collect herself for the baby." Her words tore my heart to pieces. She was already stressed out because of her career and finding out she was pregnant, and I just added on to that tenfold because of what happened in Tokyo. After everything we've gone through trying to get to where we are happy and in a relationship not just being in love as best friends, but as lovers the last thing I ever wanted to do was jeopardize that or hurt her, but that's exactly what I did. For the hundredth time since that night I wished I could take it all back, but I couldn't, and I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her if I had to. "I feel horrible mama. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her, and I know that's exactly what I did." She looked at me and nodded as if trying to reassure me that she knows that I regretted hurting her and that I didn't mean to. "She was thinking about never telling you about the baby, and I always told her that she shouldn't keep it from you." My heart dropped at her words and tears started running down my cheeks. I felt like I had just been stabbed in the heart. I can't imagine my life without my child. Hearing that she was going to keep her from me hurt more than anything. I could hear Camila's footsteps walking back into the kitchen, but I couldn't make eye contact with her. She went and sat down on the bar stool at the kitchen island next to me. I looked up at Sinu through my tears and asked, "May I be excused?". "Of course you can mijo, but don't be too long food is almost done." I got off the bar stool and looked away from her still not being able to meet her gaze. I walked straight to her bedroom and I wanted nothing more than to just collapse into a ball and cry, but I needed to be prepared for her to come and try to ask me why I left the kitchen in tears, and I can't very well do that if I am a mess. I knew that she was probably going to come check on me any minute now, so I just stood there staring at her bedroom wall waiting. My eyes slowly made their way to the picture of us next to her bedside, and I couldn't help but feel anger towards her. Then I heard the door open and close from behind me, and I turned around to face her. "So were you just never going to tell me about the baby? Were you just going to keep me from my kid?" The tears were starting to pour down my cheeks again, and I could tell that she wanted to walk up to me and give me a hug, but my body flinched at the thought. She walked closer to the center of her bedroom where I was standing near her bed with a look of regret in her eyes. "There was a time where I was never going to tell you, and I didn't care if we ever got back together. You broke my heart and..." I did not want to hear what she was going to say next. "And what you wanted to break mine by keeping my child from me?" I understood that I broke her heart. Even if it was not entirely my fault I took full responsibility for what happened in Tokyo that night and whatever came after, but for her to keep a baby from me just to spite me is just heart wrenching. She looked at me almost pleading for forgiveness, forgiveness that at this very moment I was not ready to give. "Shawn I thought you cheated on me. I was in a bad place and mindset after Tokyo, but over time I came around and knew I would have to tell you." Over time she came around and knew that she would have to tell me. For fuck's sake how long was she actually planning to keep this from me? Forever? What until I saw her walking around with her nine months pregnant belly and then wait till I put it all together? I was too upset to hear anymore of her explanations. I needed to get out of here. I love her and that baby more than anything, but this, this really hurts. I ignored the rest of what she was saying and went to her bedside disconnected my phone and collected the rest of my things. I walked towards her bedroom door and she reached for my arm to stop me. "Wait. Shawn where are you going? Babe please don't leave we need to talk about this." I turned around to face her tears still pouring down my cheeks. I really didn't want to turn around and face her because I'm afraid that I will say something I will regret and can never take back. "Don't call me babe Camila. I need space to think, so I'm going to fly to LA alone. My parents can come and pick up my car later. Don't bother calling me because I can't talk to you right now it hurts too much. I will meet you at your place in LA two hours before your appointment with Dr. Phillips." I walked out of her bedroom and made my way into the kitchen when I heard Sinu say, "Camila let him be. Let him go. He needs time mija", so I assume she must've reached for me to try and stop me but her mom prevented her. I walked out of her building, and was greeted with the cold November air. I wasn't going to drive to LA from here, so I needed to call Andrew to try and get me a last minute first class flight to LA as soon as possible. I walked around to the driver's seat of my car and got in. I instantly broke down crying, the same words kept playing through my mind, "She was thinking about never telling you about the baby". I had never felt this type of pain before. I keep thinking about what my life would be like had Camila been pregnant with my child and never told me about it. It would've been pretty hard to keep it from me for so long. How long did it take her to finally come to her senses and decide that she was going to tell me eventually? All these questions kept swirling through my mind, and I was just making myself more upset. I drove away and about a mile later I stopped in a parking lot of a Whole Foods , so I could call Andrew to ask him to book me a flight straight to LA. I parked and pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed his number. "Hey what's up buddy? How are you doing? I know that being on break and not being with her has probably taken a toll on you." He did not know that I had gone to her place in LA and she wasn't there and that I had subsequently flown back home, or that I drove to NYC to talk to her last night. I was not in the mood to tell him the whole story, but I knew that I was going to need to say something. I sniffled and wiped away my tears and spoke into the phone. "Hi Andrew, so I drove from Pickering all the way to NYC last night to talk to Camila." I could hear his gasp on the other end of the line. "We fixed things last night. She believed that it was all a misunderstanding, but uhhh..." This was the first time I was going to be saying this out loud after having found out just last night. "She's pregnant. She's 12 weeks pregnant Andrew. She just told me last night that's why she was in Japan in the first place." He must've had a drink in his hand because I heard glass shatter on the other end and him saying , "SHIT!" "Shawn. I... You're fucking kidding right? Tell me you're joking. Is it yours?" "No I am not joking, and why would you ever ask that? Of course it's mine." I heard him sigh on the other end. "Anyway. I don't want to talk about it. I need you to get me a flight from JFK or maybe La Guardia right now, so I can be in LA. I need to get the fuck out of here." I was waiting for him to ask why I wanted to leave if we had just fixed things, and I had just found out that I am going to be a father. I guess you could say it should be the happiest time of my life. It is, but right now at least it is clouded by the knowledge that she was never going to tell me. "I'll save you your breath of asking me why I want to leave. I found out from her mom this morning that she was never going to tell me that we were expecting a baby, so I left her place, and now I need a flight out of here." "Jesus Shawn that's a lot to throw on me this early in the morning my god. Don't think you're off the hook we are going to talk about this as soon as you land. I will book your flight right now. Let's hope there is still a spot left in First Class. God and you don't have Jake with you. I'll text you the details give me 30 minutes." "Okay. Thank you Andrew." About 20 minutes passed and he texted me the flight info. "The flight leaves in 3 hours on American from La Guardia. I will pick you up from LAX." Great I thought I was going to be able to dodge him for a few days, but I guess I had no choice who else was going to pick me up. "Okay. Thanks again Andrew. See you in LA." Now I just needed to drive to La Guardia and hope I don't get spotted without a body guard. I got to La Guardia paid, so my car could be parked in Valet for at least a week. Enough time for one of my parents to go get it. Then it hit me what the fuck was I going to tell my mum and dad? I walked into the airport and got spotted once by some guy walking in and was now going through security. The TSA people recognized me instantly, but all acted very professional and got me through fairly quick. I now only had about 45 minutes until my flight was going to take off, so I had to rush to the gate. I finally found the gate and that's when a group of teenage girls waiting to board screamed "Oh My God." I walked up to them and said "hello", and I asked if they could keep their voices down because I didn't want to be swarmed before even having the chance to board. "Hi girls. It's nice to meet you all, but do you mind being a bit low key because I've tried my best not to be spotted." I promised them that I would ask the flight attendant if they could walk up to first class once the plane was in the air so they could get their pictures. We all finally boarded the plane, and I remembered that Camila would be getting to the airport any minute now to board her own flight. I stared at my phone and contemplated whether or not I should text her to have a safe flight and that I love her because no matter what she is the love of my life and it's not just her anymore she's carrying our baby. I opted not to because I just wasn't ready yet. After about 2 hours in the air the girls had come up to first class and got their pictures and we had a quick little conversation. For those 10 minutes that I spoke with them I was able to get my mind off of the situation, but then I got a text. It was a text from Camila. We both had iPhones so the wifi on my plane enabled me to receive iMessages. It simply read, "I miss you." I assumed this was her way of letting me know that she was leaving NY. I just read the message and put my phone back down. I ended up watching a movie for the remainder of the flight as a way to take my mind off things. The movie was one of the saddest movies I have ever watched. The main character Emilia Clarke is one of Camila's favorite actresses, and in the end the guy she fell in love with ended up being a hallucination. She later found out that his heart was the one she was given in a transplant a year ago in a last ditch effort to save her life. Needless to say I had a few drinks while watching because this hit me pretty hard. I thought about how I would die if I wasn't with Camila and that I would gladly give my life to save her or our child's life. I had never felt like this about anyone before. It was a new feeling. A scary feeling, but a feeling that I nonetheless was grateful to have because it meant that I finally got what I always wanted, and that was to be with Camila. Tears fell down my cheeks right as the flight attendant announced that we were getting ready to touch down in LA. We landed in LA and I got a call from Andrew that he was in a car waiting for me outside the terminal. He had another body guard with him who helped me put my bags in the back of the car and then we got in. "Hi. How was your flight?" "Fine." I was dreading him mentioning the giant elephant in the room. The car ride was silent until about halfway to my place and he spoke up. "Shawn I am your manager, but I am also your friend. I think we should talk about this." I looked over at him, "Gerty I know you care, and I love you for that but it's still a little fresh in my mind, and I just don't feel like talking about it yet. If it's okay can you just drop me off at my place, and I promise we can talk about it in a few days. Camila is going to be getting here any minute now, and we are going to a doctor's appointment for her and the baby tomorrow, so I am sure there will be more to tell then." He nodded. "Okay Shawn. I understand, but we are all here for you. I don't want to piss you off right now, but we are going to need to definitely talk about the future and your image. I mean a baby Shawn a freaking baby. You are only 21 and are still currently on tour. Not to mention you're both supposed to perform at the AMAs in two weeks." "Yeah I know just give me some time. Give us some time to first figure it out for ourselves. Oh and this stays between us I haven't told anyone but you. I haven't even gotten the chance to tell my mum and dad." We drove up to my place, and I was once again helped with my bags. I got my keys out of my pocket and walked inside my place. I turned on the lights and walked up to the bar and grabbed a bottle of tequila. I walked up to my cupboard and grabbed a glass. I poured myself a shot, and downed it. Then I was in the middle of pouring myself another when I heard a knock on my door. I had no idea who could be at my place because I wasn't expecting anyone. I walked from my kitchen to my front door and opened it. This time the roles were reversed and she was standing at my door. I looked at her in her onesie. Her face was puffy and she had tears running down her cheeks. "What do you want Camila? I flew here on my own for a reason. I didn't call or text for a reason. I don't want to see you right now it hurts me to see you." Not once as I spoke did I meet her gaze because despite how I hurt I felt it killed me to see her so heartbroken. She wiped away tears with the sleeve of her sweater and spoke choking on her words from her tears. "Shawn please we need to talk about this. I need to tell you my side of things." I finally found the courage to look at her again. "Talk about what? I think I got the picture from your mom. I need time to process that Camila, so please just go. I already told you that I would meet you at your place tomorrow to take you to your appointment." She then had more tears starting to form in her eyes. I hated being so cold to her, but I was hurting, and I needed some time alone. I mean she was hurt and she had a whole lot of time long enough to keep a baby from me. She somewhat composed herself and she looked pissed off now. "Our appointment Shawn and unless we talk about this I don't want you to go. Hell I won't go just to prove a point." Is she fucking serious right now? She's really going to prevent me from being there and experiencing that hasn't she made me wait long enough and now she wants to pull this? I was pissed now coupled with the tears I was holding in I was really afraid of going off on her and saying something I would regret. I really wish she hadn't shown up because it's only been a few hours and this is all really fresh. "You're really going to prevent me from seeing my kid again are you serious right now?" "I don't want to go to an appointment for our baby which should be a happy moment knowing that you hate me." Hearing her say that she thinks I hate her stung because no matter what I could never hate her. She broke down and started sobbing. Fuck I really hurt her. I opened the door to my place completely so she could walk in. We went and sat down on my couch together. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "Do you still love me?" God how could she ever ask me something like that. I love her more than my own life. Nothing means anything without her. "Really you're really going to ask me that. Of course I still love you. I have never stopped loving you, but it hurt me that you once thought about never telling me about the baby. Were you just going to keep her from me for her whole life had we never gotten back together? What was going through your mind?" She quickly wiped whatever tears she had and her gorgeous brown eyes pierced my soul. "What was going through my mind really Shawn? Well I don't know. The image of a woman being all over you. How about that image?" Once again this is what it's going to come back to, Tokyo. She had every right to be upset. I am not denying her that. It still hurt me that whatever happened that night has really gotten to her, but for her to keep a baby from me that is in no way okay. "I know that it hurt you to see that, and I am so sorry that you had to see that, but even still you can't possibly think that keeping my baby from me was okay." She looked back at me and she had fire in her eyes she was fucking pissed off. "Shawn are you fucking kidding me right now? What would you have done if you saw me kissing another guy?" The thought of me seeing her with someone else killed me. Then another thought rang through my head. What if she wasn't actually pregnant that night in Tokyo and what she saw caused her to go with someone else and the baby she is expecting wasn't mine. It sent chills down my spine that because of a stupid mistake I almost lost my life. I didn't know what else to say. I was in shock at her question. "Uh... You wouldn't do that." "Exactly! That's exactly how I felt. I knew you wouldn't kiss another girl, which is why it hurt so much more when I saw what I thought I saw that night in Tokyo." If only she had trusted me enough to question me and ask right then and there what the fuck was going on? If only she had given me the benefit of the doubt. "I... That wasn't intentional. It was an accident, you know that." This is when I got to know what they meant when they gave her a shirt that said 'Latin Sass' because she totally went off. "You idiot! If I would've known!" I needed to stop this already because as upset as she looked she had tears pouring down her cheeks. Enough is enough. We both made mistakes that hurt the other and we needed to forgive each other for god's sake we love each other, we're expecting a baby. "I'm sorry, Camila. I can say whatever I want, but I can't change what you saw so truly from the bottom of my heart I am sorry." I said as tears started pooling in my eyes for what felt like the tenth time. Her facial features softened instantly. "Sorry, I know. I know you did not mean for it to happen, but think about me Shawn. Imagine how I felt thinking for an entire month that you intentionally kissed her. If you were me would you have told your boyfriend, who cheated on you, that you are pregnant with his child? No, you wouldn't." I wanted it to end here but she posed another question, and I had no choice but to say how I felt. "I wouldn't ever think about keeping a baby from someone it's just cruel." I could tell that what I just said was probably going to piss her off even more and by the look of her face she was gonna say something, so I decided to say something first. "That being said. I do understand the situation you were in and how much it hurt you. It does make me feel a little better that after some thought you were eventually going to tell me." I looked at her tears running down my cheeks and she wrapped her arm around me as I cried into her chest. "I'm so sorry Camila. I... I don't know what I was thinking. Why am I so stupid Mila? I could've just messed up everything all over again." She ran her hand through my curls which knows soothes me when I'm anxious. "Shh, it's okay. You had no idea how it felt being pregnant and living with seeing what happened that night. It's over now we don't have to talk about it ever again because I forgive you." We collected ourselves and drove to her place. I had already made plans to go get my tattoo that night with an artist in LA, so I was going to ask if she wanted to accompany me and get her's finally. "Hey I was going to get my tattoo tonight before you got to my place, and I know that we talked about you wanting to get your first, so do you want to go right now?" She looked at me surprised like she had forgotten mentioning a few hours earlier that she wanted a tattoo. "Uhh yeah sounds good. Does he know that we are coming?" I guess she wants it after all. I don't want her to feel pressured. Who am kidding nobody walks all over Camila. "I told him that I was going to go tonight, and I don't think he would mind doing yours too." We left her house and drove to the tattoo place. We parked outside and luckily there were not a lot of people on the street because it was kind of late. After we walked in I introduced Camila to the tattoo artist and he wasted no time on getting started on me. I was finally going to get the A I wanted for my little sister Aailyah. I was curious as to what Mila was going to want tattooed because she never actually told me what she was getting. "Mila have you decided what you want tattooed and where?" Damn why does getting a tattoo on your neck hurt so bad. She's about to make fun of me for crying. She saw me in visible pain so she reached for my hand and took it in her own. "Here you big baby. I told you that I would be the one getting their hand crushed." Of course me trying to keep my dignity and manhood in tact tried to deny that I was in any pain. "What I'm not in pain." "The only baby here is..." Oh shit. I didn't just say that out loud. It was already too late. I had pointed toward her stomach, but because she was wearing her onesie you couldn't really see the small belly that had already formed. I decided it would be smart if I remained quiet, so I wouldn't say something I shouldn't. Once I was done with mine it was Camila's turn. She was getting the words "it's a mystery" on her right pinkie finger. As soon as she sat down in the chair she squeezed my hand, so I gave her hand a squeeze for support. "It's okay, baby." Then tears started to roll down her cheeks, so I took my chance to make fun a little since she did it to me. "Ohh babe. I thought you said you weren't going to cry." I started laughing at her and then I saw that it was the worst idea in the world because she looked like she was going to start sobbing. "Well you can't blame me. Blame your kid that you put in me that makes me extra emotional." Well shit there it is. She just blurted that out. I could tell that she instantly regretted it, but it was already too late the tattoo artist was congratulating us. "Don't worry your secret's safe with me." "Thank you." I guess now that the cat's out of the bag now is a good time to tell her that I want to get a tattoo in honor of our baby, but I am not sure if I should because she is already a mess. Well fuck it. "Mila I am actually thinking about getting a tattoo once the baby is born." She of course as I predicted shed a lot of tears. I felt a little bad, but I guess she's going to get emotional about everything now. We paid him and left to Camila's place. The lights were off and it was dark, so I assumed her mama was asleep already. Camila said she was tired so we went straight to bed. I was woken up by a pillow hitting the side of my head. "Hey what the heck was that for?" "Doctor's appointment today remember. We overslept Shawn." Oh shit I had forgotten that today was her doctor's appointment. I was finally going to see my baby and hear its heartbeat for the very first time. I held in my tears at the thought. "Oh shit what time is it?" "3 pm." We didn't eat anything. We got dressed and yelled "bye" to mama as we ran out the door. I walked up behind Camila and reached to open her door for her. "Why, thank you. Chivalry isn't dead after all." "Of course anything for you baby mama." I could tell she did not like that nickname at all because she had a pissed look on her face. "Shawn Peter Raul Mendes don't you ever call me that again." I love to piss her off so, "Okay, baby mama". "You little shit." "Shawn shut the f-" She almost slammed the door in my face, but I moved back quick enough. I reached over and put my hands on her belly. "Don't cuss in front of her." "Him!" "Her!" I closed her door and ran around to the driver's side and sat beside her. "Mendes I am telling you it's going to be a boy!" She is still on this. I know that it is going to be a girl, and I am going to keep saying this until she believes it. "No way it's going to be a girl for sure." She rolled her eyes at me. "You'll see soon enough that I am right." Wait is she trying to say that we get to find out if it's a boy or girl today? "Wait we find out the baby's gender today?" "No you dummy I'm only like 12 weeks pregnant." "Well sorry I haven't read any parenting books I've only just found out I was going to be a dad yesterday." She rolled her eyes at me, but can she blame me it's still going to sting for a little while. We got to the doctor's office a little bit late. "Hi Dr. Phillips." She looked at me and then at Camila in shock. I didn't know if I should say something, but Camila answered my question when she spoke up. "I know what this looks like, but I can assure you we've talked this through and this was all a huge misunderstanding." She just nodded and walked us into her office. We walked into the exam room where she told us to wait because she needed to prescribe her previous patient some medication and that a nurse would be in to do the ultrasound in about 10 minutes. Camila laid down on the exam room table and I sat on the chair beside her. She reached for my hand and must've seen the tears that had started to run down my cheeks. "Shawn babe what is it" "Camila I'm so sorry about everything. I've said sorry like a million times because I make so many damn mistakes, yet somehow you always forgive me. What did I do to deserve you, Camila?" "I love you, Shawn. No matter what. We all make mistakes, that's just us being human." What did I do to deserve her, truly? I would be asking myself this question for the rest of my life. "I truly don't know what I do to deserve you, Camila." I love you so much." "You're so freaking sweet you know that. I love you so damn much. You excited to see the baby and hear its heartbeat? Are you ready for it?" I moved my face towards her bump and kissed it. "Damn right I am." I kept peppering kisses to her clothed belly until we heard a knock on the exam room door. "Come in." The nurse booted up the ultrasound machine beside us and typed in a few things. "Are you ready Mila?" "Am I ready Shawn? I've seen this twice already, are you ready?" "I guess I'm ready, but I know I'm gonna cry again because I cry at everything." I cried when I saw her belly for the first time. I can just imagine how much I am going to cry hearing its heartbeat for the very first time. The nurse asked Camila to roll up her shirt up to below her bra. Her small bump was now exposed. I grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles and mouthed 'i love you'. "Okay Camila this is going to be cold, but you know the drill." She squirted the gel on Mila's stomach and got the wand and started moving it all over. It seemed like she was taking a long time. At first I didn't think anything of it, but I've seen enough tv to know that something wasn't right. Camila then looked over at me with a worried look on my face and confirmed my fears. She then looked back away from me and returned her gaze back on the nurse. "Uhh Madelyn..." "Yes?" "What's going on?" I could hear the panic in Camila's voice. "Sorry Camila, I'm just having a hard time finding... give me a second." "Hard time finding what?" What the hell was she having a hard time finding? Wait. NO. NO. NO. Then my brain put the puzzle pieces together in my head. I instantly had tears running down my face. The nurse sighed and she removed the wand from her belly and looked back over at Camila and I. She opened her mouth and spoke, "Camila, Shawn. I'm afraid I have some... news." Judging by the tone of her voice, this "news" is most definitely not the good kind. I tried to prepare myself for what came next, even though I already had my suspicions. "I can't seem to find a heartbeat."
Hi guys. Thank you so much for sticking with me for the longest part I've ever written. I made Shawn's POV longer because I really wanted to dive into his mind and how he feels. I will try and update Camila POV for Chapter 7 ASAP since I already have it mostly written. Again thank you for all the love on this story. Please keep liking and commenting, I do read all your comments.
~S❤️
YOU ARE READING
Something Big
FanfictionShawn and Camila a whirlwind summer romance, they finally got over themselves and told each other how they feel. What they didn't realize was something big came out of this summer, something that would change both of their lives forever. - - - UPDAT...
