loss & sorrow.

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Pumpkin passed away. After several days of the usually bright and happy plant acting rather off, Peridot had noticed all of the little moments when Pumpkin should have reacted to something but didn't. She had also noticed that Pumpkin's skin had grown soft, discolored spots. And when she got back from working on Little Homeworld one day, Pumpkin was... unresponsive.

It hurt so much, but it was also so incredibly confusing to her. How someone could be here one minute but... disappear the next. Overtime, Peridot had learned the concept of what death was on her own and through the media, as no one had ever bothered to explain it to her, but she didn't know that it would of happened to Pumpkin and especially so soon.

After at least an hour of debate on the gems could handle this, handle losing Pumpkin, handle a very emotional Peridot, Amethyst had made the decision that she would be the to go and look for the green technician, as she found Peridot sitting among the shore of the beach. "...Per?" The quartz had quietly, cautiously, and somewhat softly asked from behind, not wanting to startle or upset the already clearly distressed gem. "You.. you okay?"

"No..," A quiet, bitter sounding voice had responded. And although it was just a simple "No", Amethyst could tell that just from the tone of her voice, that Peridot was in an incredible amount of pain right now.

"..D'ya wanna be alone right now?" Amethyst asked the other gem. Although she really wanted to comfort and be there for Peridot, make her feel better, and just be her emotional support, she also didn't want to make the other gem feel uncomfortable. She wanted to be sure of what Peridot wanted, and what Peridot needed.

"...No, not really."

Amethyst sat down next to the smaller gem. An awkward but almost painful, heavy silence had befallen on the two of them with Peridot speaking up moments later, "I... why did she have to die, Amethyst?" Amethyst looked over at the other gem, her face switching between the expressions of shock and empathy as the olivine gem's own face had crumpled, tears forming rivers down her cheeks, hugging the skin of her neck. Oh, how it shattered the purple gem's heart to see Peridot like this. "It's-It's not fair!" The gem spoke in between heaves, her voice shaky and broken-sounding. She was now visibly shaking, tears hitting the palms of her hands. "I didn't even get to say goodbye..."

"Oh Peri...," Amethyst sighed, starting to get emotional herself. She HATED seeing Peridot like that. It killed her to see Peridot, someone who was usually so bright, so.. Broken. "C'mere," She had said, as she wrapped one of her arms around the other gem and pulled her closer. "It's gonna be okay.. I know it doesn't really feel like that right now but it will be..," The quartz consoled the smaller gem, running her chubby down Peridot's back.

"It's not fair, Amethyst! None of this is fair! W-why did she have to die?" Peridot sobbed, as she cried into the quartz's shoulder.

"Oh gee.. How do I explain this? Um.. pumpkins don't last forever. Just like how.. humans don't live forever.. y'know?" Amethyst tried to explain to the technician in a way that she could understand. She then ran her hands through her long, thick, messy hair in a rather frustrated manner, as she was annoyed with herself that she didn't exactly know how to explain any of this to Peridot. "Ugh, I'm sorry Peri. I'm just.. really bad at this stuff? What I'm trying to say is that, just like humans, pumpkin's don't live forever, they're bound to... rot, just like how humans are bound to die."

"Of-," She began, but then paused to take off her bright yellow visors, revealing a pair of big and soft blue eyes, wiping her tears from her eyes and gave the quartz a doe-eyed look. Amethyst couldn't help but stare at her and assumed she had been blushing, as she had found the olivine gem's eyes so pretty. "Of course I knew, it's just.. no one ever told me that it was going to happen to her or that it would happen so soon," She sniffed, clarifying the reason as to why she was so shocked by it.

"Yeah.. that's understandable.. I'm sorry..," Amethyst responded. Peridot's eyes then widened, as she was now surprised. What would Amethyst have to be sorry for? She didn't do anything wrong, right? "I'm sorry we never really bothered to tell you that it would happen to her, and that it would happen soon. That was really shitty of us...," The quartz continued to apologize to the other gem. She felt awful, awful that Peridot like that, and awful that she was part of the reason.

"...You don't have to apologize, Amethyst. Yo-you didn't know any better," Peridot argued, as she really didn't see the reason as to why Amethyst had to apologize over it. None of this was Amethyst's fault, Amethyst wasn't the reason for Pumpkin's death. So why was she putting the blame all on herself?

"We did though! We just.. we just never thought of it, like y'know, thought about telling you. And we should have.. I'm really sorry Peridot, Amethyst argued back, rubbing her arms and avoiding making eye contact with the other gem now. She felt sad. She felt embarrassed. She felt guilt.

"It's-Don't feel bad over it, you.. n-none of this is your fault!" Peridot exclaimed. "I get it.. and yes, you should have said something, but please don't feel small over it... I appreciate your apology though, thank you Amethyst." Amethyst nodded, giving no verbal response. Silence had hit the two of them again as Peridot then lied against Amethyst, with the quartz running her hand through Peridot's hair, which was something Peridot loved. The way she did it, the way she touched her, and how loving and gentle she was. After a few moments, Peridot spoke up, "...Amethyst?"

"Huh?"

"I... really miss her. I keep thinking about how much better I would feel once I'd get to see her again, but... she's not here anymore. I'm... glad she's not suffering anymore, but I really miss her, and I'm so upset, and so sad, and I'm so confused, and I just want that awful feeling to go away," Peridot explained her thoughts and feelings to the other gem, starting to tear up again. "...Why won't that horrendous feeling go away?"

"S'okay dude. I get it.. It's okay to be sad about it, and it's okay to miss her. That's normal -- that's how grieving works! I've been through the process before, so has everyone else here. Everyone moves on at different paces, and you're gonna feel sad for awhile, but that's okay! And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, I'm here for you Dot, and I always will be," The quartz explained as she comforted the other gem, still running her hand through Peridot's hair.

"..You're too kind."

"I mean.. you ARE my best friend, Peri.. how could I not be there for you? Y'know? I-I hate seeing you like this, so.. upset. I care about you so much, and it just really hurts me to see you like this," Amethyst blushed a darker purple and started to rub her arm as she confessed to the technician how much she loved and cared about her. "And..., I'll always be here for you, Peridot. Always," She said as she grabbed Peridot's hand and slipped her fingers through hers, gently squeezing Peridot's hands and giving the other gem a loving, tender smile.

"Thank you for making me feel better. Thank you for being incredibly supportive. Thank you for everything, really.. I am so grateful to have you in my life, Amethyst. You make me so happy and I am so lucky to have a friend like you, and I.. love you too," The green gem rambled on in response, taking her smaller arms and wrapping them around Amethyst. Amethyst then embraced the hug by wrapping her arms around Peridot and rested her head against Peridot's. After minutes flew by, of just cuddling each other, Peridot hesitantly pulled away, "...Amethyst?"

"Hm?"

"I feel better now, but... do you mind staying out here with me for a bit longer? You don't have to.. I.. just really don't want to be alone right now, and if I could be honest here, you make me feel safer.. and happier," Peridot asked, really hoping Amethyst would say yes. She didn't want to be alone at all right now, especially after just losing Pumpkin.

"..Of course."

-

Author's Note: Oh look, another fic I'm posting to Wattpad a month before I actually get around to posting it on Tumblr and Ao3.

Anyways, I started writing this fic back in late October when it was announced that Pumpkin died, and I just finished this, as I have been rather unmotivated and busy with school work/Driver's Ed. This fic is a shorter fic, but I really hope it isn't rushed or anything like that. My main fear with writing this one was that Amethyst and Peridot were both ooc, because although I feel like I can usually nail Amethyst, I felt like I might of written them ooc because it was a more angsty fic (and I write more fluff fics over angst). I also want to thank my friend for helping me with ideas for this and proofreading it, I'm really grateful that she helped me with this. Anyways, thank you for reading this, it really means a lot.

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