It felt different now
With all that power
I could feel myself
Rotting
"I thought he was awake!" Baekhyun yelled at the nurses.
They arrived at the hospital the next day. She didn't understand how a whole company of criminals could be hidden until she saw how far it was from everything.
"Calm down—"
"This is fucking ridiculous!"
He was different now, he raised his voice whenever he could. It was almost like he didn't know how to smile.
"H-he is, but he is just sleeping now" the male nurse said "he needs his rest...its best if you don't wake him—"
He pushed passed the nurse and through the door to Chanyeol's room. Baekhyun stopped in the doorway and look back at Jieun, motioning her to come.
She hesitated, she looked back at the nurse when she walked passed him. His gaze was so cold. Was this how it was now? Was she marked as a criminal because of those she was with? It all confused her. The people, their emotions, and their emotions they hid.
The door slammed behind her. Baekhyun walked to the other side of Chanyeol's bed, where the windows were. He covered them without even stopping to look at Chanyeol.
"Sit" he said forcefully.
Jieun was looking at Chanyeol, she couldn't hear anything.
"I said sit" Baekhyun's voice was now deep and aggressive. Almost annoyed. It made her flinch.
She nodded and sat down, her legs shaking with nervousness.
Baekhyun let out a sigh, rubbing his head.
"I'm sorry." He said before sitting down himself.
She didn't answer.
He looked down at her clothes. If she didn't have that long jacket on covering them, the doctor would've called the cops.
They were torn, blood stained and old. It's only been a night and she had been through so much. He felt guilty.
She saw so much. She was suffering but she hasn't done anything. She hasn't complained or been a hand full. It's like she just wanted all of this to hurry to an end and the only way to do that was to go through it.
Chanyeol woke up as he felt the presence around him.
Jieun's eyes seemed to grow big but her smile never appeared. After tonight, it would be hard for it to.
"Baek?" Chanyeol rubbed his eyes, "...Jieun"
There was a long silence.
"I'm so sorry—"
"There is no time for that Chanyeol"
"What happened to her?"
"There was an incident"
"Why wasn't she protected?!"
"It was Big Bang, how could we?"
"Big Bang, how did they find her?"
"Listen while you have been sleeping we have been working our asses off"
"Sleeping?! Are you kidding me. I was almost killed—"
"And whose fault is that?"
"You little—"
"Sehun" Jieun spoke up.
It definitely stopped the arguing. They both stared at her. Baekhyun eyes drifted to the floor, while Chanyeol was still dumbfounded.
"Chanyeol...Sehun he was shot. He didn't stand a chance. He did everything he could" Baekhyun said.
"What?" Chanyeol looked at the two of them back and forth.
"Chanyeol"
"No"
"Chan—"
"This isn't funny, I don—"
"Sehun is dead!" Baekhyun shouted.
Chanyeol sinked into the bed. Tears formed in his eyes. Baekhyun looked away for the simple fact that he was crying too.
"He told me...before he died." Jieun looked down at her hands "he wanted to say sorry. That he was sorry for being a terrible brother"
Baekhyun gripped his jacket "he...he wasn't. Sehun-ah, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"
He head slowly lowered onto the bed, actual sobs coming from his mouth.
His back arching as each sob left a grieving scar to all of them. Chanyeol cried quietly. Rubbing Baekhyun's back as he did.
"I'm going to kill them." Chanyeol said "I'm gonna fucking kill all of them!"
Jieun looked at both of them. More people that she hurt, more lives she ruined.
"Sehun" she thought in her head "could I have saved you? If I did something different, would you still be here with them? I think it would've been better like that"
———
"So we are just gonna wait here?" Hyunjin asked.
"Got a better idea JYP?" Taeil asked.
He didn't like Hyunjin, not because he was potentially working with or was working with the enemy, but because he caused Haechan to be on bed rest.
"Alright that's enough" Chen shouted, "we are not gonna start fighting".
Chenle looked up from the ground, his hands unclenching.
"Taeyong!" He shouted.
Everyone looked at him, even Jaehyun who had been sleeping.
"What about him?" Taeil asked.
"He is...and Seulgi too. They are gonna die! We need to go, we need to—"
"Slow down, you need to explain"Jaehyun said, Taeil behind him.
"The Mission they were sent on, them and Yuta, Victoria, Mark, Doyoung, Ten, Krystal, its in the same location as Sehun's and Suho's last mission" Chenle breathed out, still wondering why they haven't moved yet.
The room was silent for a moment.
"We can't go" Chen said "we can't do anything. I'm sure they will be fine—"
"How can you say that?!" Chenle yelled, "they have not even half the experience as EXO. They won't stand a chance"
Chen said nothing. Even Hyunjin stayed quiet, knowing all the pain one could know about loss.
"Jaehyun...Taeil...?" Chenle asked sounding more like a child with every plea.
But the two just turned away, their hearts heavier than ever.
"We have to head back to the company tomorrow, we can't go" Chen tried to reason.
"So what?!" Chenle now stood on his injured leg "We stay safe and fine and let them die! Even if we know we can save them! WE CAN SAVE THEM!"
"I'm being called back for a meeting. We leave tomorrow morning" Chen said.
"You coward!" Chenle grabbed his jacket, pulling Chen to stagger back a bit as he walked "How could you—"
Chen threw him to floor as if he were nothing.
Staring at him now, with tears streaming down his burning cheeks, Chen spoke:
"I watched my own member, die in front of me. I watched my new family die in front of me. I won't let you go—"
"Then we should try to save them! We...we can help! I won't let them—"
"Don't you get it you idiot!" Tears we're streaming down Chen's face, faster "We can't help them! I can't go...I can't go and let you die too! Fuck...I-I wasn't even able to help him. I couldn't save him... What makes you think you can save them?!"
Chen walked out of them room with a slam. Jaehyun helped Chenle up, he was dead silent. He couldn't process the feeling, the emotion that this sad sad room admitted.
"I'm sorry" Taeil seemed to say to those who were said to surly die "...I'm so sorry."
YOU ARE READING
a love, too painful
Fanfiction|Multi kpop fiction.| Life with loss was the same as life with love. They all end with you, breaking down as you heart begins to give up. She began to believe it herself, she began to think it was herself that caused every bad thing around her. So h...
