59 - i love you

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liked by rydellynch, ellagore and othersryanriddle um okay HI, if any of y'all know me you'd know how nerve wracking it is for me to post this

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liked by rydellynch, ellagore and others
ryanriddle um okay HI, if any of y'all know me you'd know how nerve wracking it is for me to post this. you can see my acne and my scarring very clearly, and that is fucking terrifying to me. my acne has been such an insecurity for me for as LONG as i can remember, but today i decided to balls up, and stop hiding myself. my name is ryan riddle, i'm twenty years old and YES!! i still have acne. it looks better here than it usually does, but it's definitely there!! i wanted to post this to help myself feel better, but also to let y'all know that if any of you are struggling with any insecurities like i am, you shouldn't be afraid to put yourself 100% out there. if covering it up makes YOU feel better, then that's okay!! but if you're changing yourself to appease society, you don't have to. i know this caption might be a little corny, but i'm sick and tired of people tip-toeing around shit like this. acne isn't taboo, or ugly. it's completely normal!! we're not perfect!! you're beautiful, and i love you. that is all❤️

ellagore: MY GORGEOUS BABY!! i love u and am so so so proud of you always!!
—ryanriddle: EL my heart🥺

user1: lol ew

user2: imagine being 20 and still having acne? whew

user3: this is so inspiring, thank you sm

user4: poor ross, if i was him i would NOT want to look at that🤢
—user5: grow the fuck up!! is this 5th grade or something? get outta here

user6: she's still so beautiful HOW

user7: you're so disgusting

rydellynch: ryan!! so beautiful on the inside and out, my love!!
—ryanriddle: love u sm dells❤️

user8: stunning as EVER

user9: 🤮🤮🤮

user10: ross deserves better. she's gross
—user11: does hating on her make you feel better about yourself?? get a life

user12: ryan is always so positive, she's such a good role model
—ryanriddle: that's the goal!! thanks for the support <3

user13: PLEASE put on some makeup. do us all a favour so we don't have to look at that

user14: poor ross, i would hate to see that everyday

user15: so beautiful!! don't listen to them

user16: ross deserves better. leave him alone, you're so ugly

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——

ryan sighed and clicked her phone off, careful not to wake the sleeping ross beside her. she mentally chided herself as tears pooled hotly in the corners of her eyes. usually stuff like this didn't get to her; she always ignored negative comments, but to be honest she expected a better reaction. she was embarrassed.

she felt a tear slide down her cheek, as a choked sob struggled past her lips. ross stirred beside her, and she took a deep breath swiping at the wetness on her cheeks.

"ryan?" he murmured sleepily, rubbing at his eyes. "why are you still awake? you okay?"

"yeah. sorry, i didn't mean to wake you up. just couldn't sleep" she lied, her voice wavering as tears threatened to spill once more.

"hey," he spoke softly, shifting into an upright position. "what happened?"

ryan shrugged, biting the inside of her lip. a tear slipped from her eye, ruining any chance she once had of not having to tell him. she was embarrassed. "i-it's nothing. it's stupid."

ross sighed. "baby, don't say that. it's not nothing. i can tell you're upset. you can tell me, okay? you know i'm here for you."

ryan nodded. "i know." she whispered. "it's just-" she sighed, picking up her phone. she clicked on the picture, and turned it to ross. "i posted this picture of me, and i-i was really nervous but i just wanted to spread some positivity, and-" she chuckled dryly, as a fresh slew of tears surfaced. ross frowned and reached forwards, gently swiping his thumb across her cheeks, letting his hand linger on the damp skin. "i just expected a better reaction, i guess." she shrugged. "some of my supporters were super sweet, but a lot of people were saying that i didn't deserve you, and that they-" she let out a whimper. "that they felt bad for you."

"why would they feel bad for me?" 

"because you have to look at me." she cried, covering her face with her hands. "i-i'm sorry, it's stupid. stuff like this never gets to me. i don't know why i'm so upset about it." 

"hey, hey, hey. c'mere." he murmured softly, taking her shaking body into his arms. without hesitation she wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her face into the crook of his neck. "you're allowed to be upset about this, okay? you don't have to be strong all the time." he rubbed a comforting hand up and down the length of her back. "and as for the comments, don't listen to them. my fans don't get to decide if you deserve me or not. no one gets to decide that except for me. really, they should be questioning if i deserve such a beautiful, talented, kind-hearted, wonderful girlfriend. and truthfully if they're treating you that way, they're not a real fan."

ryan picked her head up from his shoulder, and he reached forwards once more to swipe his thumbs across her cheeks. "it's just embarrassing, i guess."

"i know. but if it makes a difference, i still think you're beautiful. like, stupidly beautiful." ross spoke, followed by a soft chuckle and a sweet smile. "a-and i know it might be too soon, and you don't have to say it back of course, but-" he took a deep breath, his brown eyes locked on her blue ones, and laced their fingers together. "i love you, ryan."

ryan smiled and threw herself into ross' arms without warning, the sudden movement causing the pair to fall backwards on the bed. ryan placed a soft kiss against ross' lips. "i love you, too."


–– 

WHOOP THERE IT IS!!!

(didn't edit this so apologies for grammar/spelling mistakes)

anyways um hi they dropped the L word and i'm big soft :'))))) 

also it's not too early don't @ me, people move at their own pace!!! they were friends before they started dating too!! 

lastly... i've done 4/5 exams so far and tbh i feel pretty good about them all so far so im rlly just kinda vibin doe,, one more exam on monday and i'll be back to regular updates!!

so much love <3

-bailey

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