An Agent's Love

15

15 | denial

Much to my dismay, my mother and Everlace had convinced Xander to drive me home seeing as I lived in the suburbs while they lived in the city. I couldn't help but felt immense awkwardness between us while he drove, noticing that he opened his mouth as if trying to start a conversation before closing them.

"This is your place, right?" Xander asked, making me glance up from my phone as I spotted Asher on the phone, seeming like he was in a heated conversation with his furrowed eyebrows and clenched fists. I could tell he had just arrived home as he was still in his suit and tie, his tie loosened and his top button undone. He looked extra handsome like that.

Xander drove inside my driveway as he quickly turned off the engine and got out of the car, rounding it to the passenger's seat before opening the door for him. His gesture must've caught Asher's eyes because when I got out of the car, he was staring at me with a blank expression while still on the phone.

"Thank you," I said sweetly before walking to my front door, still feeling that familiar and heavy gaze on my neck and I didn't know why but I turned around and smiled way too sweetly at Xander who was watching me. "Do you wanna come in for a drink?"

Xander's hazel eyes widened in shock as if he hadn't expected it before a small smile graced his lips before nodding, following me inside my home. I walked inside the kitchen and dropped my purse on the counter before pouring him a glass of red wine.

When I turned around, I was surprised to find Xander already in front of me, his arms on either side of me as I clenched my fingers around the wine glass. I gulped, wondering what he was doing but the smirk on his lips told me almost everything.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when I invited him inside for a drink. I guess my reputation from my high school years did carry out to other men and I wasn't going to lie, that kind of frightened me.

"Did I mention that you're fucking hot?" I didn't know why but when Xander had said that, I repelled in disgust but had brought me back to the little moment when Asher had said the same exact thing and it had turned me on.

"I'm sorry but I invited you in for a drink and-"

Xander raised a brow at me. "You offered more than that, as I've been told."

I tried to budge but when he didn't move, given his superior strength, my heart stumbled a beat. As he leaned in, I poured the wine over him, hoping it'd distract him or retract his arms but when it only made him even more furious and increased his temptation to touch me, fear enveloped me whole.

He tried to press his lips on mine but I had turned my face to the other side as I let out a high shrilling scream. A second later, my front door was kicked down and Asher barged in, a look of concern on his face which then contorted into a look of fury and anger.

My heart sighed in relief as Asher pulled Xander off of me and pushed him to the floor before coming up to me. I glanced up at him, my fingers shaking as I fisted his clothes, biting my lip before he embraced me, whispering soothing words.

"You're okay," Asher whispered softly before grabbing a glass of water then handed it to me. He turned around swiftly before picking up Xander off the floor then dragged him by the feet outside, already dialling 911.

An hour later, the cops had thanked Asher for helping out and had asked me for a statement before throwing Xander inside the backseat of the car. Asher had fixed my door, apologising for the mess he had made while I sat on my sofa, blinking as if I was mute. I didn't know why but I wasn't able to comprehend what had truly happened.

It was my first encounter with a situation like that and it had left me terrified.

I didn't know how long had passed that I had been sitting there on the sofa, a throw over my legs until the seat beside me dipped. I glanced over at Asher who offered me a comforting smile.

"Nothing happened and you're safe," Asher murmured softly, his hands sliding into my own as his fingers intertwined with his. As if a rock was stuck in my throat, tears stung my eyes as I placed my head on his chest, his strong arms embracing me tightly as if to tell me that he was here to protect me. "No one should ever be treated like that and I'm sorry it had happened to you. You're okay now."

I glanced up at Asher who caressed my cheek with his thumb gently, carrying me as if I was a fragile porcelain doll. He stared into my eyes and when I squeezed his hands to make sure that he was real, intense emotions flashed in his eyes, making me frown.

What was that? Did he have feelings for me? This was a no strings attached fling we were having. It couldn't have meant anything more than that; it shouldn't.

"I should go," Asher whispered, sending me a small smile before trying to get up but I pushed him down, keeping him in his place as he glanced at me with a confused frown.

I suddenly didn't feel safe in my own home but Asher's presence made me feel as if he was there every step of the way. He made me feel protected, secured as if nothing can touch me and right now, I knew that was what I needed. Sex or not. "Please stay, at least for tonight."

"We shouldn't do anything while you're-"

I shook my head, cutting him off as I placed my chin on his hard chest. "Just hold me, that's all. Sex can wait."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Asher replied as he removed my arm off his waist, making a stand. I was confused and sad at the same time that he didn't want to stay.

"Why?" My voice was almost a whisper.

Asher made his way to the front door, checking its locks again before glancing over at me. "Cato and Eli are going to need me tonight, for a big project. I'll be on the lookout for you, don't worry. Just call me if anything happens."

I didn't know why but subtle anger settled on my chest as I only nodded, looking away from him when he exited my home with a no more than a stride. I fought back the tears that were threatening to escape as I tried to swallow the lodge that had made its way up there again.

What was I expecting, Asher to stay with me? I scoffed at the thought, knowing that I only had myself and that I was myself's own friend because everyone else was temporary in my life. They will all leave in the end anyway and if they didn't, it was a matter of time that I would've driven them away.

The only thing I regret was allowing him to see my vulnerable side because truth be told, only my mother had seen it and I knew the only thing that should be between us is the sex.

That was all. Just sex.

♖

- author's note -

this is the end of chapter fifteen! I apologise if this chapter was slightly shorter than others but what do you think of it? Let me know in the comments section and feel free to ask any questions. x love you.