It's Better This Way

Ruby's POV

Ruby’s POV:

I couldn’t sleep very well. Even if months had passed, I still wasn’t doing that well. I had nightmares. They all were similar. It always ended with me having to kill myself. Is it a sign? Am I supposed to do that? I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

I still see her. She came back after a month. I had thought I had gotten better, but I guess it wasn’t true. She has changed a lot since when I first saw her. She went from being realistic to now being extremely creepy. She just stared at me. She never spoke to me anymore. She didn’t do anything. She just stood there and looked at me creepily.

Her appearance kept changing. She looks darker and… eviler? She doesn’t look like the Dia is remember. I’m worried. Did I do something to cause this? Could it be her reaction to me getting better? I don’t really know what to think about it. I don’t know that I’ll ever get an answer to it.

I was sitting on my bed. I was just lazily browsing through some apps on my phone. I was bored. There wasn’t much to do. I wish I had something to do. Maybe later Yoshiko will come over? I hope so. I’ve gotten better with her. I don’t hate her as much any more. I can stand being with her for longer periods of time. I’m sure she thinks I’m better now. I wish I was. I don’t want to tell her the truth. I don’t want to go back to the hospital.

The room suddenly got cold. I looked up from my phone. I couldn’t see anything out of place. This often happened now. It always meant that Dia did something. I wonder what it was now. This doesn’t really phase me anymore. I’m pretty used to it. Is it even Dia doing this? I don’t know. What if it’s something else just pretending to be her? I don’t know what I’d do if that’s the case. Is there anything I could even do?

I’ve started to really question if it is Dia I’m seeing. She hasn’t acted like herself in ages if it is. I can’t see her doing something like this. She would never want me to die. That just isn’t how it would be. I know her well enough. Unless I completely read her wrong this entire time. I don’t think that’s the case. Why would she have died for me if she wanted me to die with her. She would’ve just let me die and then killed herself. Or she would’ve had both of us get hit. So, I don’t think this is her. Or if it is, she’s gone completely psycho since she died. Is that even possible? If it is, that could actually explain this very well.

I don’t know if I could even find that out. That would mean I’d have to die, wouldn’t it? I don’t want that at all. I want to keep living. I don’t want to die yet. I’m not ready to go from this world. I’ve actually started liking it again. I hated it since I found out the truth, but now I like it again. I want to keep living here. All my friends are here still. I don’t want to leave them. I need them.

The room felt even colder than normal. I kept glancing around. I don’t see anything. Then, my closet opened by itself. I stood up and walked over to investigate. There’s a… a noose… Why is there now a noose in my closet?

“Kill yourself…”

Again? But, this isn’t a dream. If I do this, I’ll actually die. No way am I doing it. Dia would never want me to die. She’d want me to live on. I’m not going to listen to the voice.

I don’t know why she’s so set on me dying. It doesn’t seem to make any sense. And, it seems like she can make things appear at will. Wouldn’t it be easier for her to just make a random things kill me? Why must I kill myself? Why can’t she just do it suddenly so I won’t feel any pain. If she’s going to make to die eventually, can’t she make it painless for me?

“You will listen to me. I’m sick of waiting.”

Huh?

I felt a gust of wind around me. It shoved me into the closet. I tried to fight against it, but it was no use. Was this… was this thing not an illusion? Was I actually seeing something that no one else could? I think I might’ve been. This feels different now. It feels dark. Her touch is no longer nice and warm. It’s dead and cold.

I was shoved onto the noose. I started choking. I struggled to get out, but it was no use. I was going to die. I don’t want to die. Please… please let me go…

“Join your onee-chan, Ruby…”

No… I don’t want to!

My fighting didn’t work. I was dying. I couldn’t keep fighting and hung limply. My life is going to end today… why? Why did I have to die? What will this do? I don’t understand. Will I understand when I see Dia again? I hope so. I want to understand why this all had to happen. Why must I die now? Why wasn’t I allowed to live my life fully?

It wasn’t long before I blacked out. It felt like my life was being drained from me. Is she taking my life from me this way? I’m going to die, aren’t I. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Unless by some miracle someone came in and saved me. I doubt it. I don’t think anyone will come in and save me. Miracles never worked for me.

 Moments later, I was dead. Let’s see if I’ll find out what was going on. I can see a white light. Looks like I’m going to the other side. I walked toward the white light. It overwhelmed me and I was completely blinded. When my vision returned, I was not ready for what I saw.