Wednesday dad picked me up from school after soccer practice, i didn't trust myself to play so i sat and tried keeping myself occupied, i managed to get two full hours of sleep in the past four days, my mind was fuzzy, i still hadn't managed to keep food down, i just felt sick every time i looked at myself, i didn't trust myself with my own thoughts.
"hi dad" i whispered, pulling my knees to my chest as i looked out the window, "how was Chicago?" i asked breaking the silence, i listened to him speak but i zoned out after a few sentences. Getting out of the car slowly i took in a deep breath as my ears became fuzzy, my head pounded but i knew it would pass. "Is luke here?" i smiled at dad, walking inside to an empty house, "luke will be home soon sweetheart, head upstairs and finish your homework m'kay?" i nodded and gave him a small hug.
Throwing my bag to the ground i crawled under my blankets and cried, i cried for my old life back, i cried till i fell asleep. I woke up screaming, i immediately put my hands over my mouth, i looked at the bedside clock, seeing as i only slept for half an hour, dad walked in asking what was wrong and i told him i saw a spider, he laughed and walked off. My body ached, i was hungry but i was dying for a full night sleep.
When the boys arrived home i stayed quiet, they asked what was wrong but i told them i had exams coming up, it wasn't a lie but i couldn't care less about them, while they all spoke about their surgeries i sat silently as i played with my food, "uh, dad i might stay at moms tonight, you guys sound like you'll be busy tomorrow morning and no one would be able to take me to school" i kissed his cheek and grabbed my bag "i'll tell mom to drop me here tomorrow, okay?" i smiled and began the walk home, knowing it wasn't too far.
I pulled her into my room, i took a deep breath as i fiddled with my sleeves. "uh mom.. i wasn't sure how to tell you, but u-uh Matthew he uhm, he raped me.. that friday night you guys invited work friends over.. i wasn't sure how to tell you but yeah" i breathed, looking up from my hands to her, i frowned as she laughed, calling him into the room. "Honey, Matthew would never," she looked at him "is this true?" he immediately defended himself "babe, you know i wouldn't, you know that, i wouldn't do anything to hurt your daughter, all i want to do is keep her safe," he cried, grabbing her hand.
i stood there, in front of dad, mom and matthew. "Faith tell your father what you told me" she sighed, shaking her head as she grabbed Matthews hand. "I uh, i told mom today about Matthew..raping me" i mumbled, watching as my dad furrowed his eyebrow. "Faith, look i get you might not like him, and i get this is all new for you but that, you lying about something so serious, it's a crime. Don't lie just because you don't like your mothers new boyfriend, now i think you owe Matthew an apology, Faith Alaska Hood" he said, knowing if using my full name i'm in trouble.
I refused to cry, i held my tears back as i looked at him. "I'm so sorry i accuses you of such thing, i should've given you a chance before i assumed the worst, please forgive me, you make my mom happy and that's all i want" i tried to sound sincere as possible, i felt humiliated, i felt dirty, i wanted to disappear.
"i accept your apology, i'm sorry you feel such way towards me and i can only hope it changes because you have a lot of potential Faith, i only want what's best for you" i nodded slowly and waiting for my punishment. "your father and i have decided that instead of going to Calum's for two weeks, you're grounded here, for a month" I almost protested but knowing me my luck would've worsened out, i gave my dad a look before pulling my arm out of his hold "don't" i muttered and made my way upstairs, listening to my dads car leave.
An hour later my door opened slowly after i heard another car leave, i sighed in relief before panic shocked through my body as i felt myself being dragged into the floor, next minute i know i'm against the wall with Matthews face in mine, my throat begging for air. "don't ever pull that shit again or next time you'll be sorry!" he yelled, i pulled at his hands, trying to breath, i gasped for air as i was thrown back onto the ground, pulling myself into a ball as i felt several kicks being thrown against my body.
I woke up against the wall, my butt numb from sitting on the floor for so long, my body ached, i managed to pull myself into the shower, preparing myself for the day.
