luckless

- xx -

My birthday came slowly, the days in between crawling at a sloth's pace. Obliging with tradition, I stayed the night at home instead of Paul's. Jared and I had woken up to fresh pancakes cooked by mother every birthday morning for the past seventeen, now eighteen, years. Minus our actual day of birth, of course. It was the only tradition I still participated in. I didn't let anyone sing to me, I didn't want a cake, I didn't need presents. But making the fruit pancakes for us brought Mother so much joy, I couldn't deny her the pleasure.

Like every previous year, I bunked in Jared's room. Last year was the only time we'd broken tradition, and now I knew why. He'd been struggling with the wolf while I had been pissed off he was missing our birthday. I suppose I couldn't hold that against him anymore.

Jared didn't finally drop into bed until well after midnight. I didn't mind, he'd let me know beforehand that he had the second patrol of the night. As long as he was still here for breakfast.

Memories swarmed through my head as the familiar and sacred smell woke us up. I smiled and stretched, bringing my arms high above my head. I groaned as my muscles loosened. Jared, too, was stirring. I could see his sleepy surprise as he regarded the grin on my face.

"You've never been this happy for a birthday. What's up?" I tried to suppress my expression, but did a miserable job at it.

"I'unno. I'm just in a super good mood. We're finally adults, Jare." He shared my smile.

"Yeah, finally, huh? And you can admit the real reason. You've been a 'super good mood' for almost a month. Wouldn't have anything to do with a certain Lahote, would it?" I feigned surprise.

"Who? Never heard of him."

"I'll tell him you said that."

"You absolutely will not. Come on, dickhead, let's go down."

"Ah, there it is. The obligatory insult. I think they're your second nature." I ignored his jibe as I slid across the hardwood floor. The panels creaked under my feet as I headed down the hallway. Jared was following a few seconds behind me. We raced down the stairs to the kitchen. I felt giddy, like I was a seven year old kid again. Like my parents were still happily together and waiting for their two perfect children to come into the kitchen. The truth was anything but that distant haze of a dream, yet I was starting to accept it. It was nice to let myself be carefree, just for a little while.

I was surprised to find presents piled next to my plate of fresh pancakes. It was routine by now, we didn't get each other gifts in this family. Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, didn't matter. It wasn't our thing. After Dad had left, we'd been scraping by as it was. Presents became unnecessary and frivolous. Why, now, were we breaking the pact? I turned to give Jared a confused glance. He returned a knowing smirk.

"Don't complain. Just let something be nice in your life, for once. The bigger one is from Mom and I. You can open it now. The other one you have to wait until later to open." I narrowed my eyes, reluctantly picking up the larger package. It was heavy in my hands, something rattling as I lifted it from the table. I hooked my thumb under the blue polka-dotted wrapping paper, ripping the open. I grinned as the motion revealed what the gift was. A new cellphone.

"Shit. Thanks. I really needed a new one." I ignored my mother's slight disapproval as I cursed.

"It was getting annoying, having to contact you only through Paul. We almost gave it to you sooner." Jared was right. I'd only talked over the phone when Paul's device was handy. It wasn't an efficient way of living.

I'd lost all my contacts from my old phone. I guess no one mattered any more, as long as I had my close friends' numbers. Everyone previously listed were mostly massive party people or dealers. I was attempting to put that behind me, more for Paul and Jared than myself.