luckless

- xxx -

The dreams returned my third week back in La Push. I'd forgotten about the strange foreshadowing visions that occurred when I was sleeping. I'd been dreamless for years. This one was peaceful. I was in a familiar living room, a sense of calm and coziness permeating the dream. Warm arms were wrapped around me. When I looked up, I saw Paul's face, stoically gazing out the window. I sighed in the dream, letting my head fall into his chest. I felt safe, protected. It had been so long since I'd felt that way.

The sleepy picture of perfection was wiped away by Eli's cries. I held onto the memory like a previous stone. After a groggy feeding session, I returned to bed. I wanted to continue the dream, but sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned the remaining hours of the night.

By the time May rolled around, the dream repeated itself nearly every night. I almost wanted it to just happen already. Maybe then I wouldn't wake up feeling hollow, like I was missing something. At least now I could busy myself with being worried about Andy's arrival.

He was arriving that day. I'd actually forgotten until about an hour ago. Paul was already over, and he refused to leave. Now, I stood on the porch, Tia playing at my feet. Paul was sitting in the outdoor rocking chair, holding chubby little Eli. I was apprehensive of what Andy's reaction to Paul would be.

My heart skipped a beat as a rental car pulled into the driveway. A familiar tuft of red curls emerged from the driver's seat. I was starting to panic. I think Paul noticed. He stood, coming to my side. Gently, he handed Eli to me. Then, he placed a rough hand on my back.

"You got this Kat." He murmured low and close to my ear. I nodded, gulping. Andy watched the interaction with narrowed eyes. When Paul retreated inside, Andy approached.

"Hey." Neither of us knew what to say. It was awkward.

"Hi, Andy." My words were forced and curt. I could see the way Andy frowned. I didn't know how to approach him. Thankfully, Tia did the work for us.

"Dada!" Her gurgle was overjoyed. She stood shakily, ready to scoot down the porch steps. Andy's face broke into a grin.

"Hey, kiddo." He stepped forward, scooping her up. Her little hands immediately grabbed for his hair. His happiness with Tia was profound. I relaxed slightly, shifting Eli in my arms. Andy turned his attention to his son. With Tia still in his arms, he approached me.

"His hair got curlier." I nodded, looking down. It had, little flat curls pressed against his head. The lighter shade had also faded to a darker color already. I assumed he would have darker hair than Tia did. Eli looked concerned as Andy's face came into view. He wiggled against me softly. I smiled down at him.

Gently, Andy leaned over. He kissed Eli on the head, smiling lightly. Once he had pulled back, we headed inside. Paul was back in the living room with Jared. Tia immediately wriggled in Andy's arms, reaching out for Paul..

"Pa! Pa!" She exclaimed loudly, pushing to get down. I blanched at the look on Andy's face. He gently sat her down, letting her race over to where Paul was. She reached up with little arms, begging to be held. As Paul swept her up elaborately, he spun in a small circle. It was their little adorable routine, completely inappropriate in this moment. I couldn't help but think he was trying to assert something over Andy with the little move.

"Heyyy bug. What's up?" Tia giggled the whole time, grasping his hands tightly. I spared myself the pain of looking at Andy. I could only imagine how he felt right now. Instead, I headed for the kitchen to retrieve a bottle for Eli. Andy and I could discuss everything later.

That time came sooner than I had wished. An hour later, and Eli was down for a nap. Jack and Tia were playing together with a various spread of toys. I left them under Kim's watchful eye as Andy motioned me away.