Through the Lies (On Hold)

Chapter 6

When we arrived at the park and I noticed a lot of people there. Kids and parents, an old couple, a pair of teenage lovebirds, you get the idea. I suddenly regretted wanting to come here.

"Um, Cindy? Could we maybe not stay after all?" I bit my lip and tentatively made eye contact.

Cindy furrowed her brow and frowned slightly. "How come?"

I shrugged. "I just feel like going home, I guess."

Cindy looked disappointed. "Can we do a little bit of walking around first?"

I sighed. "Fine."

Cindy smirked. "Normally, you're the one who wants to go here and you're having to convince me."

I giggled softly. "I guess you're right."

We walked around and I watched everyone in the park. Smiling kids playing with each other. Parents of the kids having conversations and laughing amongst themselves. Friends walking around, not unlike me and Cindy. They all looked so... Happy.

Happy.

My vision went blurry and a sudden sting of tears burned behind my eyes.

My life is somewhat happy. I have two loving parents. I have friends. I live a fairly normal life.

And yet, despite this, my life is a living hell. I hate eating. I cut my skin. I want to kill myself for seemingly no reason.

I have no reason to feel like this. Why do I feel like this?

Guilt washed over me. I'm just a petty drama queen and there are so many people who have way worse lives than I do. Sure, I'm bullied. Sure, I'm no stranger to death. But at least I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, two loving parents, a roof over my head.

Those starving children in third-world countries deserve what I have. Food, clean water, the opportunity for an education.

And, honestly, I deserve what they have. Famine, disease, and next to nothing.

I closed my eyes as a tear fought its way forward. I pushed it back.

I felt Cindy's eyes on me.

"You alright?" I heard her ask.

I opened my eyes and glanced at her, offering a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Isn't it a gorgeous day?"

Cindy stared at me for a moment before nodding and redirecting her focus to a chirping sparrow in a nearby tree.

I sighed and pushed my internal conversation to the back of my mind, choosing to enjoy the park.

***

A while later, after we had gotten back to Cindy's place and had played a few rounds of Mario Kart on her Wii, Cindy decided she wanted to order pizza despite it only being 3 in the afternoon. We'd literally just had lunch a few hours prior.

I glared at Cindy. "I told you, I don't want pizza!"

Cindy glared back. "You don't want it, but you need it. Amber is already diagnosed with anorexia, and you know what, whether you're willing to accept it or not, it won't be long before you are too, if you don't die first!"

I glared even harder. "So what? So what if I starve to death? Maybe the food that I would have otherwise eaten could go to someone who needs it more than me!"

Cindy shook her head. I could tell she was done arguing. "Fine. I'll order pizza for myself and leave you out of it, but don't think that this means I'm always going to let you off the hook."