➖ 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍 ➖

➖📖➖

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-bro I'm literally crying writing this chapter because this is how I feel and I just can't tell anyone so I thought if a write it down I might feel better?-
..
Yeah that was ages ago and I'm living my best life right now bitchesss🤪
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3rd person POV-

THE WEEKEND WHEN HARRY AND TOM LEFT

Riley hated being on her own now that the  people she loves are leaving to go away to film or work quite frankly, it scares her.

She just hates to be alone, but never really feels alone.  all the voices  screaming in her head time after time telling her she's not good enough and that she doesn't deserve this life.

But that's life right? Just some fucked up place where you be born live a boring life and then die.

Riley looked over to her mirror seeing herself crying and got so angry for some reason.

"YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT TO CRY! THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT WAY WORSE THAN YOU! YOU DO NOT GET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT LIFE BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DO NOT GET A CHOICE IF THEY LIVE OR DIE! SO STOP FUCKING CRYING AND GET OVER YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU HAVE CLEAN WATER, A BED, LOVING FAMILY AND FOOD ON THE TABEL EVERY FUCKING NIGHT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screamed into the mirror fresh tears rushing down her now red freckled face, not paying attention to her twin brother by her door/stairs.

"A-are you alright?" A voice said that she know all to well.

"U-uh yeah, sorry it's for a drama piece" she said trying to cover it up with a Lame excuse.

"Like fuck that was for a drama piece" paddy said getting up from his sitting position on the stairs to make his way over to his broken little twin sister.

"Are you okay?" Paddy said taking slow steps not to startle her to much.

"Does it look like I'm fucking okay?"

The word 'okay' was like foreign language on Rileys tongue. Sure she used it to agree with certain questions but the word 'okay' was far from anything she would describe herself as.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Paddy said lying  across from his sisters head with a worried expression looking up at the ceiling that was littered with glow up star him and his brothers had put up when they both was 6 because Riley said she was scared of the dark.

But the thing that paddy didn't know that Riley was stoned as fuck because you remember the drug fez gave her? It had fucking sodium thiopental in it.

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sodium thiopental,
Sodium thiopental is an ultra-short-acting barbiturate and has been used commonly in the induction phase of general anesthesia.
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Basically a drug that fucks with the mouth and not your mind if it's not mixed with LSD, for what ever given reason the world hates Riley and decided to combine the two.

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LSD,

LSD (d-lysergic acid diethylamide)—also known as acid, blotter, doses, hits, microdots, sugar cubes, trips, tabs, or window panes—is one of the most potent mood- and perception-altering hallucinogenic drugs.
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"You know ever since we were little?" Riley began salty tears starting at the brim of her eyes, fuck you emotions.

"I would get this feeling like-like I'm floating inside of my body looking down at myself...and I hate what I see"Riley said with a broken voice still staring up at the plastic glow in the dark stars.

"A-and how do you feel?" Paddy said trying to choose his words wisely because he's becoming to upset with it all.

"I'm just...I'm just tired of uh...being scared all of the time not knowing why...I'm tired of...trying...trying to change because if I could be a different person I promise you I would, not because I want it it's because they do." Riley said feeling numb at her words.

"And if asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take for you to say yourself?" Paddy said facing his sister who was just starring at the ceiling blankly.

"I-I don't know, but I would name you first." Riley said, turning her head to meet her twins, both tears in their eyes.

"I thought you hated me?" Paddy said half jokingly, cracking a smile.

"Of course not, your my favourite brotherrrr" Riley said slowly slipping out of reality.

"First off, yay! Secound off, lets get you to bed." Paddy said lifting rileys into bed and tucking her in, placing a kiss on her forehead and leaving his little sister to sleep, as he try's to comprehend what he's just been told and how to fix it in some way.