"What the hell is going on?" Chaeyoung takes a sharp breath in. Lisa yawns. "My bad," She mutters.
"What?" Chaeyoung furrows her eyebrows. Lisa grins. "Don't worry about it."
"Why are you crying?"
"I was not," She denies.
Chaeyoung doesn't buy her bullshit. She sighs and Lisa clicks her tongue. "What are you so upset about?" Chaeyoung sits over to where Lisa is.
They had alot of interactions today.
Chaeyoung purses her lips. After this she was going to sleep for a hundred years.
"Well, I mean isn't it kind of obvious?"
Chaeyoung shakes her head, "Not at all." She crosses her arms. "To be honest, I don't even know why you're still in school right now? Most students should be gone. If you get caught without a reason you're going to the principal's office." She teases and Lisa laughs.
"Is getting my heart broken a valid reason?"
Chaeyoung's lips part. Her expression falls. She doesn't know what to say. "You don't have to be that shocked, you know?"
Chaeyoung wasn't shocked. She was upset.
"Yeah," She mutters. "My bad." Chaeyoung slowly gets up and opens her locker. The silence makes Lisa uneasy.
"Chae," Lisa says whilst watching her back. The girl was stuffing things into her bag and fixing up her locker.
"What?" She has coldness in her voice. Lisa bites her lip. She can't stop shaking. "I'm sorry." She says.
Chaeyoung stops grabbing her things. "What?" She says breathlessly.
"I said I'm sorry."
Chaeyoung gets annoyed. "For what now?" She rolls her eyes. Lisa clenches her fist. "For leaving you in the dark."
Chaeyoung grabs her duffel bag and slams her locker shut. "Now," She laughs bitterly. "Now, you're sorry?" Her eyes squint.
"Now that you have no one else to comfort you." She says feeling defeated. "You apologize? When you were so damn scared to even talk to me, when you--" Chaeyoung takes a sharp breath in.
"You never think about how what you say would make me feel." Her voice is trembling.
Lisa watches with dryness in her throat.
"You ignored my feelings for so long. For so fucking long! You date the girl, the one girl I felt so damn uneasy about. The girl you said would not be a fucking problem!" Chaeyoung pinches the bridge of her nose.
"And at first I didn't even know why." She wants to cry. "I didn't know whether you were dating her to make me feel bad or hurt me or what. But then you told me it was real, and then I figured out that it really wasn't. That even you knew, some part of you was just using her." Chaeyoung speaks with forced calmness.
"And it sucked when I was told that she was just using you too. But you know what sucked the most? The fact that throughout all this, I never got a say in what would happen to us because whether you fucking noticed or not you come to me and I always accept you. Do you realize that? And the one time, god forbid, the one time I told you that I was scared of the one person I had every right to be scared of - you rejected me."
Lisa stands. "Are you going to listen to what I have to say?"
"You don't get to act like the bigger person now." Chaeyoung grits her teeth. "And I'll admit I was an asshole too. But at least I had the decency to take time out of my day to think about your feelings. For fuck sakes, I thought about your feelings more than mine. And it made me anxious. So, I got mad. You couldn't take that either."
"You avoided me like the plague--"
"And you never stopped to think why." Chaeyoung bites her tongue.
Lisa feels her heart drop to the floor.
It was as if she was checkmated.
Lisa clenches her fist. "But you like me regardless." She feels herself slowly slip out of touch.
"Why are you acting like an asshole again?"
"Because that's what I am. I don't care that you're hurt, Chae."
Chaeyoung clenches her jaw. "You sound so fucking edgy." She sighs and Lisa shifts around. "Look, I don't care what happens anymore. I just--" She groans.
"Chae, I don't know!"
Chaeyoung feels calmer after all that screaming. "Figure it out," She walks down the room. "Actually, don't. This was it. I'm done."
"Chae!"
"No, you can't come to me the day of your break up and act like I'm the only one who can solve your issues when you never saw me as special." Chaeyoung bites her innercheek. "Maybe you did, but you never made it a point to make me feel that way."
Lisa doesn't know what to say or do. She was back to square one. She was kicked off the entire play field if anything.
Chaeyoung wants Lisa to stop her as she walks out of the room, but she knows Lisa won't.
She just knows that Lisa will never choose to make the first move and if that was the case, Chaeyoung chose not to play at all.
-
"Unnie," Lisa groans. "What?" Jisoo says lazily as she taps on her phone. "What do I do?"
"How about you stop whining like a little bitch and figure it out?" She rolls her eyes. Lisa sighs.
"JUmPing fAce fIrSt into a tOrnaDo isn't aNy beTtEr But thEy dO sAy the eYe oF the TOrnADo Is CAlM," Lisa mocks and Jisoo throws one of the magazines in the stack beside her straight at Lisa.
Lisa uses her fist to punch it down and she frowns. "Did I force you to do any of that? No. Not my problem." Jisoo teases and Lisa scratches her head in frustration.
"Why are girls so hard to deal with?"
"Just figure out your feelings!"
Lisa sighs. "I want Chaeyoung," She has a look of determination in her eyes. Jisoo snickers. "Sure as hell didn't look like it the other day when you were making kissy faces at Seulgi-Unnie,"
"I'm going to kill you with this pillow."
"Oh no!" Jisoo rolls her eyes. Lisa sighs as she tosses the pillow to the side out of frustration.
"Poor pillow,"
Lisa slams her hand onto the coffe table. "Jeez!" Jisoo says in surprise. "What do you even want me to do? I have my own girl problems." She sighs.
"Yeah? But between you and Jennie-Unnie aren't you the Chaeyoung of the situation?"
Jisoo puts her phone down and raises an eyebrow. "This situation is completely different. I told Jennie if she doesn't want this anymore, then I'm giving up completely too. Chaeyoung has already given up." She crosses her arms.
Lisa mouth is wide open as she tries to refute but she can't.
Jisoo snickers. "You'll figure it out." She says and Lisa is frozen in place. "She was super mad,"
"See, like what I don't understand is, why don't you just stop putting on the asshole act?"
Lisa slumps into the bean bag. "It's not an act."
