One Chicago Life

Daddy's Girl

In the back of the SUV, Will started an IV for fluids. My blood pressure was starting to drop. He cleaned a spot on my thigh and apologized saying, "sorry you aren't going to like this but I have to." As he stabbed a syringe in that spot. I started getting contractions again. "Sorry about this too," said Natalie as she massaged my lower belly. "This is why you get epidurals," I groaned. Jay looked up from the tiny bundle in his arms, "why are you torturing my wife?!" He shouted. "It's ok Jay, we have to keep the uterus contracting to stop the bleeding. It's totally normal." Said Natalie. I was getting sleepy, I blamed the pain meds I thought Will gave me. I let my heavy eyelids close but Will rubbed my sternum. "Stay awake Kaycie, keep your eyes open!" Everything was blurry and then it went black. Natalie then gasped in horror. "Will push more pitocin and Epi now! She is hemorrhaging! She must have a clot! I have to find it!" She reached her whole hand up inside as I groaned coming to slightly from the pain. "I am sorry!" She said repeatedly. Jay pulled my chin towards him. "Don't you dare leave me," he whispered. "Stay awake, stay with me!" He pleaded.
Will slipped an oxygen mask over my face and told Antonio to step on it. Sirens and lights were turned on. "Still 20 minutes out" Antonio said.
"I got it!" Said Natalie as she pulled a large clot out in her hand. "The hemorrhaging is stopping." "BP is 82/50" said Will. "Is she going to be ok?" Asked Jay. Will said, "she will have to be closely monitored for more hemorrhaging. She is at a higher risk for more bleeding."
Natalie took the baby from Jay again to make sure she was breathing ok. "Jay take your shirt off then put your jacket on so we can do skin to skin contact with her, she is a little cold." He did as he was told and placed her against his chest and Natalie wrapped another blanket in front of Jay. Blakely calmed right down in her Daddy's arms. Jay spoke softly to the tiny bundle in his arms. This was the sight I opened my eyes to. I smiled weakly watching them. "Hey welcome back!" Said Will. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Jay said grabbing my hand. "How are you feeling?" He asked still looking worried. "I am ok," I lied, trying to squeeze his hand. "Just a few minutes out," said Al. Natalie had texted the hospital and they were ready to greet us.

They took Blakely to the NICU. I made Jay go with them and he reluctantly did. I was still bleeding more than I should have been. I was given more Pitocin and was completely miserable when Jay and Will came into my room nearly an hour later. "Whoa! What meds have you given her?!" Yelled Will. The nurse looked at me conflicted. "It's ok, he is my doctor too." I said as I clutched the bed railing through a contraction. Jay grabbed my hands and rubbed my back. The nurse sighed, "Dr Adams wanted a high dose of pitocin since she was still bleeding too much. Her bleeding is being controlled but her pain is not. He had an emergency surgery before he could authorize any pain meds." Will groaned, she already had a large dose of Pit on the way here! I can authorize pain meds. I will even get it if I have too!" He yelled. "No that's ok. I have it right here as she pulled a syringe out of her pocket and hooked it into my IV. "It is not in your chart that you had any meds. Did you have anything else?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders and Will answered, "Some Epi and just fluids." I groaned as another contraction took over. "I need a distraction," I cried. Jay wiped at my tears. "Our baby is perfect. She weighs 4 pounds and 6 ounces. She is 18 inches long. She is tough like you. Natalie hasn't had to put oxygen on her at all. She was in a warmer for a little bit but Hank is holding her now." He said. "I need to see her!" I cried trying to sit up weakly.  "You can't get up yet. You could start hemorrhaging again! Here, Will took videos and pictures." He said as he climbed carefully into the bed with his phone. "She has some auburn hair that is a little curly. She likes to be held against my chest." He said with a big smile. He showed me multiple photos and videos until I grabbed his hand in pain again. This time the tears were in his eyes as he said, "I am sorry, so sorry! I was supposed to be there with you and I wasn't.  I should have been there. I promise to always have your back ok?" I nodded, "it's not your fault! It's ok. I will be ok," I said. "I just wish I hadn't been given a double dose of Pitocin. These contractions are no joke and pointless ." I said with a grimace. "And I am sorry." I say as I hold his hands. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong." I shook my head, "I am bad luck to you and everyone in my life. Something bad always happens to me and those I love and I know it worries you. Now our baby is in the NICU and I should have been more careful. What if something is wrong with our baby or she has developmental problems because she was too early?!" I cried. Jay shook his head, "Hey she is amazing, just like her mother. She is going to be just fine. And you will be too! Ok?" I nodded, "you promise me that as soon as I can get out of this bed, you will get me in a wheelchair?" Jay kissed my forehead, "of course, the minute they say it's ok." Will pushed some medication into my IV and I quickly fell asleep.
I woke up a little over an hour later. Jay was resting his head near my pillow. I was still hurting but it was nothing compared to what it was before. I kissed Jay's sleeping head. He instantly opened his eyes and smiled. "Hey how are you feeling?" He asked. "Good enough to demand that I can see my baby. Get me a wheelchair." I said as I slowly sat up and tried to swing my legs over the edge of the bed as I fought wires and IVs. Jay pushed the call button and asked if I could go to the NICU. Two nurses came in with a wheelchair. "Let's check your vitals first, then we can hopefully disconnect your IV but we won't be removing it yet. After what seemed like forever they finally helped me into a wheelchair. Jay held my hand with a big smile on his face. They helped me wash up and walk carefully to the chair next to her incubator. Jay delicately put her in my arms.
I smelled her sweet head. She had soft strawberry blonde curls. Blakely started acting hungry and one nurse helped me get her latched and she started eating right away. I smiled and told Jay I could stare at her forever. She finished eating and just stared at me contently. I burped her and Jay took her from me so he could change her diaper. He laid her down on the mat beside her bed. She instantly started crying, I stood up to try to help. She then started coughing and turning purple. Alarms went off and we were swarmed with staff. Jay and I watched, terrified as they cleared her airway and got her breathing normally again. Her color returned and the group around our tiny daughter diminished. She had more wires and monitors attached to her as well as oxygen now. Jay and I stood huddled together somewhat frozen in fear and shock. Tears streamed down my face as Nat came over to us. "Blakely had an episode of choking and apnea. It might have been brought on by reflux. We will keep an oxygen monitor on her to see if her sats drop or if she has any breathing problems. She seems ok now, she is only on a little oxygen to help her." We both nodded, trying to take all of this in. "Can I hold her again? What can we do to prevent any more episodes?" Natalie nodded, "you can hold her as long as her temperature is regulated, we will just have to wait and see if this was a one time issue or if it continues we will find out what is the cause." I quickly sat down beside her bed and Natalie helped get her adjusted with all of the monitors attached to her. I stared at her while I rocked her and played with her tiny curls as tears streamed down my face. So many emotions swirled around in my head. Jay kneeled down next to me and wrapped his arms around us both. "I am so glad I have both of my girls here in my arms." Blakely sighed and seemed content to have us both close. Natalie snapped some pictures of us and sent them to my phone. We sat there until her temperature dropped and she had to be put in her incubator. I was taken back to my room to rest, still very weak from all of the blood loss. I took another nap while Jay went home to shower, change and grab a few things. I bribed my way to the NICU and was holding a fussy Blakely when Jay came looking for us. I traded him spots and she instantly calmed down in her Daddy's arms.

A/N
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