The Heart Wants What It Wants - MakoHaru Hospital AU

Chapter 9: Faint Voice

Haruka Nanase

It's been two days... two days since the nightmare of every teenager with the dream of becoming a pro-swimmer.

The days have passed by slowly. I still got no "get well soon" cards from my swim team, shows how friendly we were together. Neither did my parents pick up the phone, so they're still not updated on my health.

The only ones that have been amusing me are Makoto, Makoto's siblings and parents, and of course Kumiko as well.

Whenever Makoto's family visited, they'd be caring towards me too. Ren and Ran brought some movies we could watch with all of us. And even though they weren't really my kind of movies, it was better than laying in bed staring at the ceiling the entire time.

Other than that, Makoto's parents brought me one of Makoto's pajamas, because Makoto thought it would fit me better than the one-sized hospital suits they have here. He was right, but the pants were way too big. I wear them all day, anyway.

The rest of our time I would sleep, or Makoto would read to me. I didn't expect Makoto to suggest he'd read to me, but eventually he did. He read a few pages from Hamlet out loud, before lunch yesterday.

Today's the day I've been waiting for, because I finally get to try out the speaking valve. I might finally be able to thank Makoto for lending me his pajamas and telling him that he's actually really bad at reading out loud and making a book sound interesting at the same time.

Kumiko sits in front of me, showing me the speaking valve as she slides it into the tube.

The air gets blocked immediately and I start coughing. A squeaking cough leaves my mouth and it's the loudest I've heard my voice since getting the tracheotomy.

Both Kumiko and Makoto stare at me, pending.

I wheeze as I try to get the air to go through to my lungs, but it won't go in as naturally as it used to do before putting the valve on.

"Is the breathing going well, Haruka?" Kumiko asks.

I notice I have to use quite some force to get the air through, but I nod, because I can in fact breathe. Everything's better than not being able to talk, I have to make this work somehow.

"Okay," Kumiko says, she sounds cheerful, but still a little tense. "Can you try to tell me your full name and age?"

I nod and open my mouth. I push and force the air to turn into words, but it's harder than I thought.

"Take your time, Haruka," Kumiko says and she lays her hand at my shoulder. "It takes some practice."

I close my eyes and focus on my voice. "H-Ha-Haru--." I've already ran out of breath, but I've got something like a sound out. And I've almost said my entire first name.

"Good job, Haru!" I hear Makoto cheering from the other bed. I look at him and frown. I've never heard him calling me by my nickname before.

He blushes when he sees me looking at him.

"T-Tha---nks, M-Mako--t-to," I stammer, pushing out the words. My voice sounds faint and as lot hoarser than it normally sounds. But it works! The speaking valve is in fact working!

Kumiko smiles at me and says, "Well, I see you're probably going to adjust to speaking really soon, won't you?"

I nod. That's what I'm planning on, because even though I don't talk much in general, I do find it comfortable to be able to whenever I need.

"I'll leave you two alone then," Kumiko says. "It'll probably be less awkward if I wouldn't be standing here. You can talk in peace without me."

We both nod. I try to thank Kumiko, but it takes a lot of force. I don't know if she's even heard me. Before she leaves she turns to me and says, "It's going to take time, though. So give yourself time to adjust to it, Haruka."

I nod, she's right.

After saying that she leaves and Makoto and I are left with the two of us.