Saving Grace

Dejá Vu

I'm so sorry this is late. I've been late with all my updates and it's been a little hectic trying to get together but thankfully I made it work!

Some of the information in this chapter may leave you with a few questions but don't worry all will be answered in due time.☺️

Hope yall like this one and again super sorry. 🙏🏾❤️

Cliffhanger warnings apply.

XOXO
💜💜💜

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“Excuse me?” She asks and her accent surprises him. It adds a degree of gentleness to her voice that washes over him with a promise of soothing each ache and pain he keeps locked out of sight.

“I wanted to say happy birthday but, um,” he points to the cake.

“You don’t seem too pleased about it, so how can I help?” She looks down at the cake, piecing the puzzle together and a sad smile crosses her lips.

“Oh this. Its not really my birthday, I just needed some comfort food,” She admits and he looks at her with eyes that ask her to elaborate.

Strange as it may be she feels like she can. Her gut tells her to open up, that it’s alright to let this stranger in.

To let him heal her.

Let him be the courage she can’t find in herself.

“I’m pregnant,” She blurts out, before she has the chance to really think it through and his eyes widen. Max doesn’t really know what to do with this revelation. It’s good news but the conflicting emotions on her face say otherwise. So he waits in hopes that she’ll explain.

“Well, at least I think so.” She adds then corrects herself and says:

“I really want to be.” Her emotions get the better of her for the second time this morning and Helen can’t stop the tears that stream down her cheeks yet again. Max offers her a serviette and a kind smile. He’s still beyond confused, but doesn’t give up on her.

“That’s…” he chuckles softly “…a bit of a loaded statement there. What do you say I get you a hot chocolate and you tell me all about it?” He asks and she looks up at him incredulous. Before she can answer he turns to the waiter and says:

“Jimmy, give me a hot cocoa, extra marshmallows.”

“Coming right up,” the young man smiles and busies himself getting the order ready.

“So, you want to be pregnant and you think you are but you don’t know?” he asks taking a sip of his drink but his eyes never leave her, giving her an attention she didn’t know she craved until now. Helen nods in response.

“I haven’t taken the test yet. I’m afraid.” She answers with a laugh aimed at making the matter a light-hearted one but it only highlights the depth of her fear.

“If you don’t mind me asking, afraid of what?” he presses forward gently, sensing that he’s close to the heart of the matter. As an answer she looks up at him with a tortured expression. Her eyes speak what her mouth can’t find words to express and once again the brevity of their meeting seems insignificant. Her gaze communicates a message that resonates profoundly within him. The emotion blinking in the tears she’s trying to keep at bay, knocks at his heart’s door like an old friend.

The fear of being alone.

Max smiles sympathetically, showing that he understands. She smiles back weakly in response, silently thanking him for his solidarity. Jimmy places a freshly made hot chocolate in front of her and Max lays a tentative hand on her shoulder.

“I’ll be right back,” he says and gives her shoulder a light squeeze. Instead of seeming foreign to her, his touch is actually reassuring. He leaves the café and she cranes her neck back in time to see him jog to the drug store across the street. Helen’s brow creases with intrigue but she decides to focus her attention back on to the bakery murder scene that used to be a double chocolate birthday cake.

Her mind wonders as she pushes bits and pieces of the disfigured treat around on her plate.

Who is he?
Why does he want to help me?
Why do I want to let him?

A billion questions she has no answer to but is, surprisingly enough, not in a hurry to find them.

For the first time in years, her thoughts are plagued by something other than her incomplete heart.

Across the street a focused Max browses through the drug store aisles till he finds what he’s looking for.

Pregnancy tests.

An array of them is available and he picks out three with a practiced ease. The kind old lady behind the counter smiles as he approaches and places the boxes on the counter top.

“Hello there Maxy. Haven’t seen you around in a long time” She greets, her bright blue eyes smiling back at him affectionately.

“Hi Josie.” He greets back, echoing the care from her eyes in his voice.

“You been eating alright?” She asks while scanning his features for any signs of malnourishment.

“Yes ma’am. Three meals a day plus the occasional snack.” He responds confidently with that ever present pep in his tone. Josie eyes him suspiciously for a while, but soon her face lights up with a satisfied smile.

“Atta boy.” She answers, turning her attention on to his purchase. Her brow creases with confusion.

“Pregnancy tests? Maxy? Is there something you wanna tell me?” She asks sternly, one of her hands resting on her hip.

“No Josie don’t worry. This is for a friend.” He assures her and she nods, convinced.

“Good. Not that I don’t want you to find someone special again but… with the card life dealt you it’s just… it’s a little too soon to be trying again.” She advises, ever the straight talker.

“I know Josie. Trust me I know.” Max answers, making a conscious effort to keep smiling. His hand rubs the back of his head and he casts his eyes down, trying to hide the evidence of his pain. He doesn’t want to burden her with it.

Not more than he already has any way.

Max feels her hand on his arm before he has a chance to realise that she’s moved from behind the counter. When he turns to face her with wide eyes he finds her knowing smile beaming back at him.

“Don’t try to hide from me Maxy. You should know that by now.” She says, wagging her finger at him playfully.

“Was worth a shot,” he shrugs with a sad chuckle.

“Honestly Josie, I don’t want you worried about me.” He adds.

“I didn’t have any kids Max, couldn’t have any, so you’re the closest thing to a son I’ve got. I’ve been worrying about you since you we’re a little shorter than my second shelves and I’m sure as hell not gonna stop now.” She says kindly yet determined, then pulls him in for a hug.

“You let me worry about worrying and focus on getting better OK?” She says as she rubs his backs lovingly. Max feels the familiar sting of tears in his eyes but smiles at the warmth he feels in his heart.

A genuine smile.

“Thanks Josie,” he says.

“Anytime Maxy,” She answers, stepping away to cup his face. She gives his cheeks a little squeeze and scrunches her nose making him laugh.

“That’s what I like to hear.” The old lady chuckles then let’s go of him and grabs the plastic bag off the counter.

“Here you go.” She says, handing him his purchase.

“Thanks Josie, how much do I owe you?” he asks.

“Nothing. Its on the house.”

“But…”

“No, no, no.” She puts her hands up in front of her face to stop him from carrying on his protest.

“I don’t want to hear about it. Take ‘em and go help your friend.” She insists and Max let’s our a half chuckle, half sigh as he shakes his head.

“You’re one in a million you know that Josie?”

“I do know that. But with my age it’s best you keep reminding me.” She winks.

“Your age? You don’t look a day over forty.” He compliments and she laughs.

“Get outta here.” She says and he laughs as he waves her goodbye and leaves the store.
…

The warming morning air pierces the cinnamon blanket that encapsulates the bakery when Max walks back in. Hellen is still where he left her, but without her cake and half her hot cocoa gone. She turns towards him as soon as the door opens.

“Sorry about the wait,” he says, stepping towards her.

“Not a problem at all, I was in very good company.” She answers, lifting her cup of cocoa to emphasise her point.

“Did you get what you need?” She asks then takes a sip.

“Actually,” he answers digging into the bag and retrieving one of the boxes from it.

“I got what you need.”
And so the menacing box returns.
In her shock, Hellen miss calculates where she puts down the cup and it tips over, coating her jeans with the sweet beverage. She shoots out of her seat, jolted by the liquids mild heat and after the initial shock wears off, she hurriedly dabs at the stain with a serviette.

“I should… clean this up. Excuse me.” She says, without making eye contact and makes her escape towards the bathroom. It’s there, that her good old friends (tears) make another appearance. She looks up at her teary reflection in the mirror, her eyes blurred by the watery line impeding her vision. Her troubled heart races in her chest and she closes her eyes, letting her tears fall. She’s ashamed of her own cowardice but even more afraid of being confronted with an answer she’s not prepared for.

A hand rests gingerly over hers on the sink, and her eyes shoot open to lock with his in his reflection. For the first time ever she’s able to see past the enchanting hue of his eyes into the tortured soul that lies restlessly within.

His ghosts, twins of her own.

“It’s gonna be OK,” he says, the sincerity clear in his voice.

“I’ll be right here, no matter the outcome. I’ll be right here.”
She looks at him with a furrowed brow and tears still brimming in her eyes. He gives her hand a gentle squeeze and holds out on of the tests to her. Helen swallows down the knot in her throat and with a shaky hand, takes the box from him. Her fear dissipates a little when she realises that the box doesn’t feel the same it did when she was alone earlier this morning. It’s not as heavy in her hand.

It doesn’t feel like total defeat.

She nods, telling him that she’s OK and he let’s go of her hand.

“I’ll be right here when you’re ready,” he tells her and she offers him an uncertain but grateful smile before disappearing into a stall. Then she’s alone.

It’s just her and the little box all over again.

Deep breaths Hellen. Deep breaths.

She tells herself.

With an inhale, she opens the box. With an exhale she reaches in. The test is small, a little thicker than an ice cream stick. It feels breakable between her fingers and she represses a laugh as the thought that something so small could hold her entire future within it.

Breathe. Just keep breathing.

She thinks.

On the outside, Max is suddenly hit with a sense of déjà vu. He sinks to the ground and tries to calm his heart.

This is insane.

He thinks.

The baby’s not even mine but I’m just as anxious as…

As the day he found out he was going to be a dad.

Georgia came out of the bathroom with the test in her hand and found Max on the floor by the bed. Her anxiousness was clear in her gaze, a look he’d become all to familiar with yet it still struck him each time he saw it. She sat beside him and their eyes locked, both of them hopeful. Both their stares saying the same thing.

Maybe this is finally it.

He extended his hand and she took it, inter locking their fingers. He brought their joint hands to his lips and planted a kiss at the back of hers.

And so they waited in silence.

The timer Helen set on her phone goes off, jolting them both out of the peaceful moment. She looks at him, scared. He squeezes the hand that’s in his, giving her the go ahead. She nods and lifts the test up so that she can see what it’s says.

He holds his breath.

She gasps.

“What? What is it?” he asks, nervously.

“It’s- it’s positive.” She exclaims and when she looks at him wide eyed she finds him staring back at her just as astounded.

Then it hits her.

She’s pregnant.

Hellen looks down at the test and then back at Max. A huge smile brightens his features.

“You’re pregnant!” he exclaims with a laugh and her own excitement begins to build. She gets up, still incredulous, but with a smile playing on her lips. Hellen breathes out a laugh as she looks down at the test for a third time.

“I’m pregnant!” She exclaims and the difference in tone from the first time she said it is startling. At first she looked unsure, afraid of saying it out loud, almost as if she feared that admitting it too soon would lead to her wish not coming true. But now, her voice radiates pure joy. She looks up at him, her eyes a glow, and jumps on to him, wrapping him in a celebratory hug.

“I’m pregnant!” She repeats, her enthusiasm doubled. Their chests rattle against each other as they both laugh.

“Congratulations!” he offers as they pull apart just enough that they’re no longer hugging but still in each other’s arms. He looks down at her and feels a sudden warmth envelope him as her smiling face takes his breath away.

It’s a genuine smile. Bright and beautiful. One he’s been dreaming about being able to show for the past year and knowing that he somehow contributed to it makes it that much more enchanting. His eyes widen and his face flushes. He’s suddenly very aware of her proximity. Hellen notices the change on his face and the gaze he’s boring onto her is intense enough that she begins to run out of breath herself. No one’s looked at her that way in years.

Not since…

Like she was a diamond under evaluation. Being appraised for the jewel she was, appreciated for her rarity. His gaze consumes her and she finds herself unable to move.

Slowly, without either of them noticing, they begin to lean into each other.