I do This for You

2 Years

2 Years

There is not a day

that goes by that

I don’t think of you

You are two years old

today

Two years since I held you

that one time

and stared into those 

beautiful eyes

and then

Let you go

I wonder what your first word was

Was it

Dada

or

Mama

I hope your new Mama

smiled

and shed a tear

I shed one now

knowing that

it could have been me

You must be walking now

I started walking early

You will probably turn after me

But I will never see you walk

Never feel those tiny fingers

holding tight to mine

as we walk together

Are you a happy girl?

Be happy

Always be happy

I dream of you every night

Dreams of what

Could have been

what

Should have been

but

What will never be

What was not 

meant to be

It was my mistake

that you were brought into this 

world

A mistake I will never regret

I love you

I always will

It was because I loved you

that I wanted you to have 

the Life

I could never give you

I made the mistake

But

I would never let you

suffer for it

What I did

I did for you

So 

Hopefully

you will never have to do the 

Same

April 22, 2013