Finding Yourself : Fred Weasley

29

     That night in the common room I walk over to where Reno is sitting alone with a book. I nervously sit down next to him. The entire way here I was thinking about what to say, and I still have no idea. But I have to fix things and make them right. 
       "Reno," I say quietly. He doesn't respond, though I know he heard me. I sigh. "I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for everything I said to you this morning. And I am sorry for how I have been. I don't want to make you feel like I care about Cedric or anyone more than I do you. Because you are as much my best friend as he is. I love you both." 
     He slowly looks up at me. I am very nervous. I don't want to lose my friend. And I am so worried that he is just going to get up and go. He sets his book down. "I'm sorry too. I have been a perfect arse. I'm sorry. I have said a lot of stuff to you and about Cedric that I shouldn't have said and that I didn't mean." 
     I smile at him and lean over and hug him tightly. He hugs back tightly. He lightly rubs my back. "Are we okay?" I ask him quietly. I can feel him nod. "We are okay." I smile a little more and hug him a bit tighter. 
     After a few minutes, we see Cedric walk over. Reno and I get up and walk over to sit next to him. He looks surprised but delighted to see us talking again. 
      We talk for hours about what Cedric could do in the competition and it eventually starts to feel hopeless. So we move on and talk about ways to go about my situation with finding my family, which also just feels like an uphill climb and we are at a dead end. 
       After a while, Cedric tells us he is going to bed and walks to the boy's dormitory. Leaving Reno and I by ourselves. I lay my head on his lap and lay my legs over the couch. He gently plays with my hair. 
      "Why did you wear your glasses today? You hate them," Reno asks softly. "I lost one of my contacts. Hopefully, my mom will send me more."  I think about how it felt when Fred played with my hair. It felt different than this. When he did I was aware of everything he did and it sent tingles throughout me and I had the uncontrollable urge to blush. I don't feel anything like that right now.
       "You don't really look like Potter." I lightly laugh. "It's okay Reno. Everyone has been pointing it out all-day." He lightly laughs. "Okay. Maybe you do a little. But you are much prettier than he is. No offence to him because he is pretty too." 
      Before mine and Fred's talk, I would have brushed that off as him just being nice and friendly to me. Now however I can't help but think he is saying it in a different way. In a way with something more there. I don't want to bring it up right now though. Things just got back to normal, I don't want to ruin them.
      I sit up. "I think I'm going to go to bed too. I didn't sleep very well last night." I don't really want to, but it's the only way I can think of to end the awkward thoughts going through my head. He nods. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow Char. Sweet dreams," he says with a smile. I smile back. "You too Reno." 
        I walk up to the girl's dorm room and write a quick letter to my mom explaining about my contacts and asking her to send me some more. I think about asking her what I should do about Reno, but I decide against it. I can talk to her about it during Christmas. 
     Christmas is only a little over a month away, I am not ready in any way for it. I don't know if I want to go back home. Maybe I will stay here and say it is for extra studying. That is the only way they would approve. 
     I set my glasses on the table and lay down. What is going on with things with Fred? I feel so different around him. Though I don't know how or why. I can't explain how I feel around him. If I had to try I would say it is a mix of happy, nervous, and excited. 
        Honestly, I want to spend a lot of time with him. More than I think I care to admit. He makes me feel a weird kind of happy that I can't explain. I blush, smile and laugh every time I am around him. I don't know what any of this means or what I am feeling, and it is confusing me. Honestly, it is a little frightening as well.