Finding Yourself : Fred Weasley

32

    I find Cedric and Reno in the Hufflepuff common room. They are both very worried because I run in, out of breath and forcing myself to hold in tears. I can't even pull myself together enough to tell them about the letter that Bill sent me. 
     I hand them the letter than lay on my back and try to calm my breathing. It works a little. Though crying is making it very hard to do. Once I can pull my blubbering self together I can focus on being able to breathe right and not hear my heartbeat good enough that I could Waltz to it. 
     They read the letter then look at me in shock. They set the letter down and hurry over and get me sitting up. "That is so daft that they would even ask you that," Reno says while shaking his head. "They think that there is a chance that you will give up the ball? Ridiculous," he says, a small bit of amusement in his tone. 
       I lightly shake my head. "It isn't. I think I'll do it," I say honestly. Shock covers their faces. "No! You have to go to the Yule Ball!" Reno yells, suddenly sounding very angry. "Think about it Reno. I don't have a huge interest in it, I don't have a date, and I want to more than anything find my real family. This is the perfect opportunity," I quickly explain. 
     Reno jumps up. "Charlie West! You can not throw away that night for that! It is dangerous on so many levels and it just isn't right!"   "I hate to but I agree with Reno. You won't ever get to experience something like this again and it is really dangerous," Cedric says softly. 
      "Wrong. Both of you. I can not throw away my shot of finding my family. I will get to go to weddings and stuff, that is close enough to this for me. I will have people with me who will keep me safe. One of them being an old professor," I point out, leaving Cedric without any more arguments. Reno isn't done yet though. 
       "Charlie, please. You have to go to the Yule Ball. You will regret it if you don't, I know you will. Your mom wants pictures and she will never approve of you not going. Especially for your reasons." 
       "I won't regret it Reno. This is my chance to find my family. I have to take it. I can figure out something to tell them on why I don't have photos. The ball really isn't a big deal for me. As I said, I don't have a  date and-"
        "- I wanted to ask you, Charlie!" He quickly yells. I fall silent, and I suddenly don't have any words. He sighs. "I wanted to ask you to be my date. You are the only one I want to go with. I have wanted to ask you ever since Sprout told us about it. I just haven't found the right time," He speaks quietly, his face turning a light shade of pink. 
     I stand up and take one of his hands. Fred was right after all... Crap... "Reno... I am really truly sorry... But this is something that I have to do... I have to find my family..." I try to speak as softly as I can. He looks down at our hands and holds mine tightly. 
      "If you wouldn't have gotten that letter and I would have asked you what would you have said?" He asks, his voice shaking. I think about it for a few seconds, being very careful of my answer. 
      "I would have told you that I am very sorry... But I would only be able to go as friends..." I say it softer than before. He stands there for a few extra seconds before he pulls his hand away and runs out of the room. I stand there, unsure if I should go after him or not. I look at Cedric for help. 
      He has a look of complete and utter shock. I sit down next to him. We sit in silence for a few minutes, unsure what to say to one another. Though I think we both know that there isn't anything we could say. 
     "I think I am going to ask Cho tomorrow," Cedric says quietly and a bit nervously. I lightly nod. "I think that is a good idea," I say, still in shock. "I think you should probably give Reno a few days before you try talking to him. He is going to take this really hard." I lightly nod, fully aware of how much I must have just hurt him. 
        "I just don't see him like that, he is like a brother. As are you," I say quietly. He nods in understanding. "I understand. It will take him a bit to understand though." I nod. Fred already explained that to me. 
     Cedric gets up. "I'm going to go take a bath before it gets too late," he says with a light sigh. "Okay," I say quietly. He gives me a comforting smile then walks out. I sigh and lean back on the couch. I sit there for about thirty minutes to think about everything.
       I hate hurting Reno so badly. I really wish it could have been avoided. I really hope that we will be able to get past it and continue being friends the same as we were before. But a part of me is very worried that isn't going to happen. I lean my head against the couch and close my eyes. 
     "Charlie!" Cedric yells as he rushes back in the room. I look up at him. He is dripping wet still and doesn't appear to have anything on apart from a grey robe. "Cedric where are your clothes?" I ask confused. 
      "Nevermind that, I have to show you something! COme on!" he yells quickly, running to the door and opening it. His wet hair still has some bubbles in it. I nervously get up. "Ced, is everything okay?" I ask concerned. "Yes! Hurry! Come on!" He yells while moving his arms to get me to hurry. "Okay, okay. I'm coming." 
       "Cedric, where are we going?" I ask as we speed walk down the halls. He doesn't answer, I'm not even sure he heard me. Once we get to the fifth floor though I know where we are heading. We rush over and befoe we even stop fully Cedric gives the password, "Pine Fresh."
      We rush inside and for a second I am worried Cedric is going to drop his robe. "Ced, couldn't you just tell me?"   "No, it wouldn't be the same," he mutters as he steps into the pool-sized tub with the robe still around him. "Grab the egg and get in." 
      I look around and grab the golden egg from the first tournament. "Do I have to Ced?" I ask not wanting to undress but not wanting to get my clothes wet either. "Yes, hurry." I sigh and grab a robe for myself. "Turn around." He does as I say. I take off my sweater and pants and set them on the table, leaning on my bra and underwear. I slide the robe on then slowly get into the warm water. 
      I hand him the egg. "Please don't open that Ced. The screeching gives me a migraine," I plead. "Trust me." He submerges the egg. "Go under when I do."  "I have to go underwater?" I ask with a sigh. "Give me a minute then."
      I quickly get out of the water and take out my contacts and carefully put them in a little case that I had in my pocket then slowly make my way back into the water without tripping. Though I can hardly see anything. 
      "Ready?"  "Ready. This better be good Ced." He goes under the water a second later. I take a large breath then go under. As I watch him open the egg, the best I can since everything is extremely blurry, I brace myself for the loud screeching. Only there isn't any. Instead, there is beautiful singing. Though it also sounds slightly spooky.
"Come seek us where our voices sound,
We cannot sing above the ground,
And while you're searching, ponder this;
We've taken what you'll sorely miss,
An hour-long you'll have to look,
And recover what we took,
But past an hour — the prospect's black,
Too late, it's gone, it won't come back."
      As soon as the singing stops I go back up above the water and take a few deep breaths. "You figured it out Ced!" I yell happily with a smile. I think he is smiling too, though I can't tell for sure. "Not completely, I just found out how to get past the screaming."   "That was the hard part I think. Now we just have to crack the riddle."  "We will need Reno's help." I nod in agreeance. 
      "Now as much as I would love to stay," I say sarcastically. "I am going to go back to the common room and go to bed."  "Alright. I'm going to stay here for a while longer." I carefully get out and slowly make my way over to my clothes and put my contacts back in before putting my sweater and pants on. 
      I don't bother drying my hair, I walk back to the common room quickly. Not wanting to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone. I still have too much on my mind. I walk to the dorm rooms and sit on my bed and write my letter to Bill saying how I am completely sure that I want to go and how I would love to figure out a plan for it.
      I will mail it in the morning. Part of me wants to go find Fred and George and tell them about the letter, but the other part of me really wants to just go lay down and feel guilty. So that is exactly what I do.