Finding Yourself : Fred Weasley

68

     The next few days are harder than ever. The professors gave us a break the first day and knew that we all couldn't focus on anything. But the hardest part for me isn't trying to do school work. It's trying to get up in the morning, trying to talk to people, trying to act like things are okay. Because they aren't. 
     I want more than anything to just lay in bed and do absolutely nothing. I feel numb. I haven't cried anymore, except at night when I try to sleep and when I wake up from nightmares. I think I only get three or four hours of sleep a night. I also don't eat much. At night I eat about a piece of bread or a roll and that's pretty much it. 
     Today is the last day, I almost didn't get out of bed. I had to force myself. Before I get dressed I pack up all of my stuff. I only put on a pair of leggings and the shirt that I stole from Cedric a long time ago. I don't bother to brush my hair. I just shove my glasses on. On the days we don't have school I am either in the common room or more often my bed. Today I figured I should spend time with Fred. 
     I walk into the common room to see Reno starting to walk out. "Hey Reno," I say softly. He looks over. "Hey, how did you sleep?" he asks, stopping so I can walk over. I shrug. "Yea, me too. I'm going to go hang out with Ludovic before he leaves if you want to come."  "Thanks but I am going to spend some time with Fred." He lightly nods. 
     "See ya later Char," He says as we walk out and part ways. I raise my hand for a light wave before walking up to the Gryffindor tower. I stand outside and wait for Fred to come out. I could ask someone to get Fred for me but I don't want to talk to anyone. 
     When he finally walks out with George I feel relieved. I didn't know how many more people walking by and asking if I'm okay I could take. They lightly smile at me. "Hey Charlie," they say in unison. I very slightly smile back. "Hey boys. Do you want to go sit outside? I think the weather is supposed to be nice today."
     "Sure," George says with a shrug. "OF course," Fred says while nodding. I lightly nod then start to walk. They follow. Fred takes my hand and walks with me. All of us in silence. When I am with them in classes they seem to walk on eggshells around me, always being very cautious. 
     It is warm outside, and there is a light breeze. The sun is high, fluffy clouds dotted around. We all sit under the shade of a tree. I look around and take in a big breath. 
     "Reno, Cedric and I would sit here a lot. Especially when it was nice out like this," I say with a small smile. Fred holds my hand tighter. I look at the two and smile at them. "I am going to miss you both." 
     They smile back at me. "You can still see us. You are more than welcome to visit," Fred suggests. I smile a bit more. "Thank you guys for this year. You have opened a new door for me. Well, a few new doors." I look at Fred during the last bit. 
     "You have definitely been a treat for us," George jokes. Fred lightly pushes him, causing him to laugh. I lightly laugh. I lay my head on Fred's lap and look at the sky. He lightly plays with my hair. 
     "How are you, today love?" Fred asks softly. "You seem to be doing a bit better," George adds. I shrug. "I am just trying to make the most out of this time with you guys," I answer truthfully. I know Cedric wouldn't want me to mope around and stay in bed all day today. He would want me to have a good last day. 
     "Do you have any more of that gum?" I ask curiously. Fred and George look at each other. "Yea, but none of it is finished or been tested," George answers. "We tried a few new recipes to fix the bugs and to make it better," Fred adds. "Can I have some? Like for over the summer?"  "Love it's not finished or tested. It might be-"  "I don't mind. Please? I really could use it. It would be a big help," I beg. 
     They look at each other for a long time, as though they are speaking telepathically. Fred finally sighs. "Yea, we will give you some on the train." "Thank you." Maybe it will help me get through the first few days with my "family". 
     The rest of the day goes on as slow as past few days. Fred, George and I chat while laying there all day. We finally go back in when dinner time comes. It was really nice though. Apart from everything it was a good day. 
     All the flags, banners, and drapes have been replaced with black ones. My stomach turns as I look around. I walk over and sit with Reno and Ludovic at the Hufflepuff table. I get a glass of water and a roll and pick at it and make it last through the entire dinner. 
     Reno eats more, but only because Ludovic convinces him to. I watch them as they talk and smile lightly at each other. I slightly smile. They are good together. They seem to make each other happy even in the worst of times. 
     "The end of another year," Dumbledore says at the end of the feast. He is standing at the teacher's table. "There is much that I would like to say to you all tonight, but I must first acknowledge the loss of a very fine person who should be sitting here," He gestures to the Hufflepuff table. 
     "Enjoying our feast with us. I would like you all, please, to stand and raise your glasses to Cedric Diggory." And we all do. Every single person in the Great Hall stands and raises their glass. And in one dull and quiet voice, we all say in unison, "Cedric Diggory." I have to hold in the tears as I sit back down. 
     "Cedric was a person who exemplified many of the qualities that distinguish Hufflepuff house. He was a good and loyal friend, a hard worker, he valued fair play. His death has affected you all, whether you knew him well or not. I think that you have the right to know exactly how it came about," Dumbledore pauses for a moment. "Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort." Whispers of panic and horror sweep through the room.
     "The Ministry of Magic does not wish me to tell you this. It is possible that some of your parents will be horrified that I have done so, either because they will not believe that Lord Voldemort has returned or because they think I should not tell you so, young as you are. It is my belief that the truth is generally preferable to lies, and that any attempt to pretend that Cedric died as the result of an accident or some sort of blunder of his own is an insult to his memory." 
     Dumbledore pauses again. "There is somebody else who must be mentioned in connection with Cedric's death. I am talking, of course, about Harry Potter." People go between looking at Harry and Dumbledore. "Harry Potter managed to escape Lord Voldemort. He risked his own life to return Cedric's body to Hogwarts. He showed, in every respect, the sort of bravery that few wizards have ever shown in facing Lord Voldemort, and for this I honour him."
     Dumbledore then raises his goblet while looking at Harry. Almost everyone does the same. Most of the Slytherins don't. "The Triwizard Tournament's aim was to further and promote magical understanding. In the light of what has happened, of Lord Voldemort's return, such ties are more important than ever."
     Everyone glances around at each other. "Every guest in this hall will be welcome back here at any time, should they wish to come. I say to you all, once again, in the light of Lord Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, ad weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open."
     "It is my belief, and never have I so hoped that I am mistaken, that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you in this Hall have already suffered directly at the hand of Lord Voldemort. Many of your families have been torn asunder. A week ago, a student was taken from our midst. Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave. Because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
     Moments later everyone got up and started to file out of the room and head out to wait on the carriages to take us all to the train. I stand with the twins and all the other sixth years. Reno is saying his goodbyes to Ludovic before he leaves with the Beauxbatons. "I will be right back," I say to the twins before walking over to Harry. 
     I slightly smile at him as we hug each other. "I know I will see you on the train but I just wanted to tell you that I will try to visit you over the summer," I say while giving him a smile. He smiles back and nods. "Okay."  "See you on the train," I say before walking back over to the twins. 
     I watch as Reno and Ludovic kiss one last time before he leaves. Reno watches him walk away before walking over. Fred puts his arm around me. "It's bittersweet, isn't it," Reno says while looking around. I nod in agreeance. "Sure is Buno," George says with a smile. Reno smiles and rolls his eyes.
     The carriages roll-up. I turn and look at the castle for one last time before getting in. Despite all of the arguments and the horrible things that have happened, this was a good year. This will probably be the last good year. I take a deep breath before getting in. Fred's arm still around me. I look at every one. "I think we will be having a lot of bittersweet for a while."