The Second

2.2

A/N: I'm back again! And I'm looking forward to the coming chapters because things are going to be happening! As always, I love being cryptic lol. Enjoy...

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05 - 28 - 2089

G I S

Love is the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced. And the most confusing. It makes me think and do crazy things, all the while blinded by the sensation of it. It's like the experiments that Doctor Acosta used to do on me. They were all called the same thing, but I never knew what they would make me feel. Sometimes, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and burning hot. Other times, I would feel utter bliss to the point of paralysis. No matter how they affected me, I stuck through it until the feeling passed. 

It is almost exactly the same with someone you love. No easy answers or solutions to what is going to happen or how to respond when crazy things occur. Two people come together because they share something, but that doesn't make them the same. No, Cade and I are still very much different, with varying desires and motivations. And so, in a way, our relationship is an experiment. And right now, I want to pull out my hair because of it. 

I want to hate Cade, but I'm too worried about him for that to be a possibility. At the same time, I still love him, and I know he still loves me. But that love doesn't erase my frustration. And where is he? He walks away from me after one disagreement, and now I can't find him anywhere.

It's been hours since I asked Mrs. Tate if she had seen Cade, and I keep staring out the bedroom window, hoping to catch a glimpse of something walking along the long, winding driveway. I've pushed the window open as well, in the off-chance I'll hear the crunch of footsteps on the gravel below. 

I force myself to stare down at the blank paper resting on the bed before me. My hand grips a charcoal pencil, but I'm unable to bring it to the paper. For once, I can't bring myself to destroy the pure white of the pad. I find myself tapping leg instead, an easy way to let out all the extra energy building up inside me.

Finally, I can't stand it any longer. I leave my drawing supplies scattered across my bed and head downstairs. Mrs. Tate is sitting at the dining room table, husking corn. She looks up as I cross the room and sit down across from her.

"What've you been up to?" She asks after a moment, studying my face. 

"Why aren't Cade and Mr. Tate back? Isn't it almost time for dinner? Besides, he's never been gone for this long before. Are you sure they're fine?" I rattle off the assortment of questions before I'm able to stop myself. Mrs. Tate's expression remains guarded, but she tries to force a smile.

"I'm sure they'll be back soon, dear. Really, there's nothing to worry about."

"Where did they go?" I demand, then realize how harsh I came across. I clear my throat and try again. "I mean, I'm just worried about him. Do you know where they went?"

Mrs. Tate sets down the corn cob and reaches across the table, offering her hand. I stare at it, but keep my hands to myself. After several seconds, she pulls back and sighs. "Gis, dear, we aren't your enemies. As I told you, Cade is safe. He is with Mr. Tate, and they will be back soon."

"Where did they go?" I cross my arms, recalling earlier today when she avoided my questions about Cade's whereabouts. At the time, I'd shrugged it off. But now, it seems clear that she's hiding something. And maybe I'm being too paranoid, but after the life I've had, I think I'm entitled to some paranoia. 

"I... don't know," Mrs. Tate says after a moment of silence that is too long to be an accident. She goes back to husking corn, but her movements aren't so relaxed, as they were when I first sat down.