Avengers x reader one shot collection

Birthday Boy (Steve x Reader)

Warnings: Too child friendly, rated G

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Enjoy!
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"Ughh," you groan. The beeping of your alarm clock certainly didn't make waking up at 4 am any easier. Although, you know Steve always goes for his early morning runs, and this would be the only chance you get to make him a birthday breakfast.

You threw on one of his t-shirts and tie your hair into a messy bun. The cold tile of your shared apartment with Steve gives you goosebumps. Once breakfast was done, you grabbed Steve's gift from your bag and put it on the table. Your grandma's ashes are important to you and it only feels right for Steve to have them.

"Hey babe," Steve said as he watches you from the doorway. "I was wondering where you were." He tries to fix his messy hair, but he spots breakfast and is flabbergasted. "You did this darling?"

"Happy Birthday Steve."

He pulls you into a kiss and it feels like the two of you will never let go, but after a half an hour he needs to come up for air.

"It smells wonderful," he admires. "Wait what's this?" he wonders as he picks up the box on the table.

"Your present," you respond. "I hope you'll like it."

He tore off the wrapping paper and peers inside the box. "You didn't," he trails off. He takes the urn out of the box. "Y/N I can't believe this, how did you know? This is exactly what I wanted!!"

"I just had a feeling," you ominously reply.

After the two of you finished breakfast Steve decided to head down to the compound with you. He picks you up bridal style and carries you into the living room where all the Avengers are lounging around.

"Happy Birthday Steve!" all of the Avengers shouted.

Steve blushes and blows a kiss to Thor.

"Hello peasants," Tony says as he waltzes into the room. "I got you a little present Steve!"

Your boyfriend looks at you worried and Tony pulled two people into the room who look creepily similar to Peggy and Bucky. They started to give a presentation on WWII and you can see the excitement in Steve's eyes. "Thank you!" you mouth to Tony, and he gives you a small smile.

After an hour or so, the female speaker looks at Tony and he nods with a serious look on his face. She grabs a portable radio and sets it up on the coffee table. Everyone is silently watching her as she slips off her shoes and socks and her finger inches to the play button.

"Tony what is goi-" you start before you are rudely interrupted by the blasting of Brittany Spears' "Gimme More". The "speaker" dressed as Peggy ripped her uniform off and started dancing up on Steve. Steve looks at you and blushes.

"I'm sorry miss but I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your dancing services," Steve says calmly. "See I already have a fine gal myself and I think she would be happy to take your place if your know what I me-"

You smack Steve on the head trying to hide your blush. The male avengers looked at you and whistle in a cult-like unison.

"Well that's only one of today's many surprises Stevie," Tony says.

"Like what Lady Stark?" Thor questions.

"Like this," Tony says ominously. "CANNONS!"

Just as Tony says that you hear a booming noise. Steve jumps out of the chair, unintentionally pushing off the stripper.

"Tony whAT WAS THAT?!" you yell at him.

"There's more where that came from," he soothingly replies.

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU I MEAN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN I-" your rant is cut off by the stripper putting duct tape over your mouth and cranking up "Gimme More".

While yelling at Tony you missed Steve slip out of the room. It was only until you heard the stripper follow Steve down the hall that you knew he disappeared. You rip the duct tape off your mouth and run after Steve.

You find him outside with his back facing the fireworks and his face in his hands.

"Steve are you alright?" you say soothingly.

He looks at you with a sad smile on his face.

"Just enjoying the birthday fun."

You led Steve into the building with a gentle hand on his back, the stripper and the sound of Britney Spears following at your heels. Just as you open the door, Tony screams "Boo!!" and jumps out, throwing a bucket of ice water onto him and dousing him completely. Steve stands there, dripping wet, for a moment, then let's out a high pitched scream and collapses onto the ground, curling into a fetal position. "Steve, are you okay?" You ask him, bending down to face him. He doesn't respond, just continues to scream like a little girl. The stripper gives him and you an annoyed look and cranks up the volume on the song, continuing her dance.

The sound of Vivaldi fills Clint's ears. He sits in his bubble bath, reading his book and relaxing. He is reaching over to get a piece of cheese from his cheese platter, setting his wine next to the bathtub, when he hears faint dance music coming from outside the door. He frowns and glances at the door, when suddenly Y/N kicks the door in and Y/n carrying Steve, and Tony burst again. The dance music gets much louder, it seems to be coming from a portable radio that is carried by a stripper.

You bust open the door to find clint sitting in a bubble bath, eating from a cheese platter, drinking wine, and listening to some strange instrumental music. "Clint!" you yell. "Get out!! We need to get Steve somewhere warm!"
"Turn around so I can get my towel!!" He yells back, scrambling for his towel.
The stripper grabs the towel and throws it out the open window. "There's no time for towels!"
"I'm not getting out without a towel!"
"This is ridiculous." You bring Steve over to Clint's bath, and drop him in. Clint shrieks and pulls himself up into the air vents in the ceiling. "Hey- We're still on for Friday right??" The stripper calls after him.

Another firework goes off outside, prompting another girlish scream from Steve. Gimme More is still playing, though the stripper had turned it up so it would be louder than Clint's music, which was still playing. Suddenly, Clint's legs fell through the ceiling, making an even louder sound, prompting an even louder scream, and an even louder Gimme More. Everything below Clint's waist hung above the bath.

The stripper approached his lower half and began dancing on it.

"Calm Steve down, I can't hear the music!" Tony yells at you.

"How can I calm him down with a man hanging from the ceiling??" You yell back.

"Can you even call that a man?" The stripper interjects, gesturing to Clint's frontal parts.

Steve grabs your arm. "End it." He begs you. "End it. Please."

You glance at Tony, who hands you a flamethrower. "I brought it just in case." He informs you.

You take the flamethrower, aim it at Steve, pulling the trigger and watching the flames envelop his body. First the clothes burn off his skin, causing Tony to turn away, saying, "Ew, cover yourself, you pervert." You can see his skin slowly melting, and stop when his body goes limp. However, screams still fill the room. A pair of legs and another thing falls from the ceiling. "My legs!!!" A voice screams from the ceiling.

"Oh, don't be dramatic," Tony rolls his eyes.

"Haven't you seen 'Rowdy's Life'?"

"What do we do with the bodies?"