whispers from a rose 🌹

xiii. lonely child

Lonely Child
- NBA Youngboy

I found myself in another place with Oscar. We went to the beach and it was so peaceful there that I got lost in my own head. My toes in the warm sand as we passed a blunt between each other just made me sigh in happiness.

"What you thinking, hermosa?"

I snorted with laughter again.

"I was thinking how the only time I can truly be me is with people that make me feel comfortable. In a safe space and zone to just chill out. Monse, Cesar, Ruby, Jamal all give me that and I kind of feel it here now in this moment but... You're this big, bad cholo who can't seem to get his head out of his ass."

Oscar took a toke and let the smoke slip out between his lips before he turned to face me.

"If I had my head in my ass, then I wouldn't be able to see your beautiful face and that gorgeous ass you got back there, baby girl," he joked and I punched him on the arm. "To answer the questions that nobody wants to ask. Yes, I kicked Cesar out of the gang but you wanna know why?"

"Why?", I spoke with genuine concern.

"Because he would have been killed if I hadn't. He would have been considered a weakling and the Santos don't take kindly to weakness. One weak Santo makes for a bunch of weak Santos that can't protect Freeridge."

"But you won't help him either, Oscar. It sucks that I wake up and have to see him suffering at our breakfast table every morning because he can't come to his big brother."

Oscar took another hit before passing it to me.

"I've been thinking of a way to get Cesar to get far away from here without fear that he can't come back. I love my little bro but I can't save him from the demons coming at him from both sides," Oscar admitted.

I finished the last of the blunt before burying it in the sand.

We had some planning to do and fast. I made a lot of money and could easily buy our way out of Freeridge if they wanted but everyone had roots here. Lives, friends, and they didn't want to uproot because of some stupid gangs.

"What if I let Cesar go stay with a good friend of mine until we get this settled?"

"Who? And why would you do this for him?"

"His name's Vincent. He's very protected. I'm doing this for Monse and Cesar. I love my cousin and my cousin loves your brother so in a way I love him too."

"Okay. Why would this Vincent guy help Cesar?", he questioned with his brows lifted.

I had to admit the man was too sexy for his own good cause I lost my train of thought for a second before I knocked some sense back into myself.

"Uh, yeah... So Vincent owes me a favor and we go way back so he'll be up for it. But I have to tell you something about him."

Oscar waited for me to get to explaining.

"He's apart of an even bigger gang than yours. He's in the mob."

He completely freaked.

"So I'm putting him in danger with a gang and you wanna throw him in with some piranhas in a damn mob. What sense does that make, hermosa?"

I held up my hands in defense.

"I would never put ypur brother in more danger, Oscar. He will be completely protected by Vincent's men and I know he'll take good care of him. Can you just think about it? I don't wanna make a decision without you."

"We can talk later. You wanna get some homemade tacos."

"Sure. From where?"

We were back in Oscar's house and he had made me some homemade tacos which were amazing and tasted like authentic Mexican food.

I sat on the couch full from all the tacos and Oscar came beside me. He threw his arm over the length of the couch and I leaned into him. His warmth just drew me in.

"Would I be completely insane if I said I never felt safer in my life?", I mumbled softly as I turned my face into his shirt which smelled like him, his cologne, and his detergent.

"I thought you were insane the moment you climbed into my car," he joked making me glance up at him from under my lashes.

Oscar's face was a few inches from mine but that was slowly changing as he leaned in and I caught onto his intention opening my mouth slightly to catch the deep kiss that he started.

My eyes shut as a minor shock ran through my body and I just felt my mouth do most of the work as I fell into the moment.

And then it stopped.

"I, uh, I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay, hermosa. You know why?"

I opened my eyes to find him pulling me back in for another kiss that just made me throb and ache in places that I haven't paid attention to in months.

Not long before we...