chapter 1

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I watch as my dad enters the house, wasted as usual, spending all the money he has on alcohol and gambling.

He throws his body on the couch before screaming for me.

"Gina!"

I quickly walk down the stairs because I was watching him from the top of the stairs.

"Coming!", I scream while walking down the stairs.

"Please remove my shoes", he slurs.

My dad wasn't always like this, he was once an applaudable man, who was responsible and loving just like most fathers, until my mom died.

He didn't turn abusive towards me like most fathers do, my dad just started drinking.

At first he had enough money to buy food and alcohol but soon his money finished and he started gambling only for the alcohol.

I got a job at a diner to buy food for the house and the necessities.

"Done", I place the shoes on the floor as a yawn escapes my lips.

It is past midnight and I haven't slept the whole day. I work at the diner up to eight in the evening but I do not sleep until I am sure my father is safe at home.

Some days he takes longer than other but he always comes back.

"Gina", he calls my name and I hum in response to show that I am listening.

"I am sorry I am such a bad father", he starts.

"Sshh dad I know you are going through a lot, it's been little over a year and you are still not over her. I believe that you will get through this dad.", I say meaning every word I say

I am not about to lie and tell him he is the best because he is not but he isn't exactly the worst either.

I don't blame my dad for his ways, my mother's death left him lost and broken. She was everything to him and when she died, he lost everything including his purpose in life.

It saddens me sometimes that he doesn't consider me his everything but I wasn't the one he fell in love with, I wasn't the one he married but I am glad he loves me and that's enough, he doesn't show it but I know he does, or at least I am hoping he does.

"You don't understand Gina....", He speaks with difficulty and trails off.

"I do Dad...", I say and sit on the couch next to him He pushes his body so he can sit on the couch.

"I made a deal with the devil", he begins and I stay silent waiting for him to continue.

"I thought he was going to forget about it but he came today and you have to leave tomorrow", he explains further with an unreadable expression.

"Uhmmm dad, are you okay? I think you had way too much to drink... more than usual. Let's get you to bed", I say in amusement and walk to help him up to his room.

I help him up the stairs, into his room and onto his bed before, switching off the light and leaving him knocked out cold.

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling, I couldn't get what my dad said out of my head, I know he is very drunk but the look on his face tells me that he might be in some sort of trouble. I brush the thoughts away and fall asleep.

<<<Next morning>>>

At seven in the morning my alarm blasts to live and I get up to get to work by nine.

I quickly take a shower and throw on a white top and blue jeans which are faded around the thighs and cut in the knees and paired it up with my white sandals.

I make my way downstairs to start with breakfast.

With the amount of alcohol my dad has been drinking, you would think he would be immune to it by now but nope he still gets hangovers.

For breakfast I made eggs and bacon and steaming black coffee to help my dad with the hangover.

"Urggg", I hear my dad groan as he walks down the stairs looking like complete trash.

I know it sound horrible but it's the nicest I can put it.

"I know dad, morning to you too", I say and I hand him his mug with a smile.

"Why are you so loud? And morning to you too honey.", He asks touching his forehead with his free hand.

He walks and sits down on the chair where I placed his breakfast.

"I am heading out, I will see you tonight dad", I say as I am heading to the doors.

"I am sure I told you last night...or didn't I?", He asks talking to himself more than he is to me but I hear nonetheless.

"Did you say something dad?", I say as I walk back and stand in front of him.

I really want to know what he meant last night.

A look of sympathy takes over his face before he takes a deep breath and starts

"I know that I will never be able to care for you properly and I will never be the father that you deserve", he says looking everywhere but at me.

"Dad-",

"Please let me finish", he cuts me off.

"I needed the money and I knew you would be better off, he might be a gang leader but he will be able to provide for you and you will be safer with him", he says now looking at me with no emotion.

"What are you talking about dad?", I talk a bit loudly, my voice breaking.

"I-m sorry", he says stuttering a bit.

I am still confused on the other hand.

"For what?!", I shout getting impatient.

"I practically sold you goddammit!", He shouts back looking straight into my eyes and that's when I see the regret.

"Dad...no!", I scream tears threatening to fall.

"What do you mean?", I say as tears escape my eyes.

He just stands there in silence.

"To who? When? Why? How much?...how much am I worth?", I ask basically sobbing at this point.

"Did I ever mean anything to you? I was supposed to be here, remind you of mom and keep her memory alive but you... after everything you put me through?!", I continue

"That exactly why! I come home everyday of my life thinking that it would be the last time I ever drink but every day I see you and I just can't take it, you are a spitting image of her and I miss her so much.", He shouts tears forming in his eyes.

"It's okay...I will go, if that makes you happy...", I say

"It's for your safety, he threatened to kill you if I don't hold up my end of the deal.", he says

"Too many excuses dad, first it's the money, then I remind you of mom now it's my safety? Make up your mind." I say looking at him.

"Dad, is this a joke?", I ask calmly as I approach him slowly.

He shakes his head not looking at me.

I hear a car pull up in our drive way and I quickly look out the window and I see a shiny black car and that is when I realize he wasn't joking.

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