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Erase Me

I wish it was as easy as a simple "erase me please"...but it's not.

My head spins, the words overflowing yet I can't seem to read any of them.

My heart hurts, but it's still beating.

I smile widely and say I'm fine.

What if I erased myself from everyone's memory?

Moved to a bigger town.

Got a job at a cute little cafe.

Never got close to anyone or anything again.

Just watch as everyone lived their lives happily.

And if anyone tried to get close, I would do it again.

Erase.

Move.

New Job.

Till eventually I was old and crippled.

I'd have no children of my own.

And I'd erase myself from the nursing homes memory-erase myself one last time.

Before stopping by the lake deep in the forest.

Where I'd sit next to a tree.

Oh a big magnificent one.

As a final selfish wish because lord knows I don't deserve a big tree like that.

And I'd slip away.

Not having bothered anyone's life.

No one would cry and hurt over me.

Because they wouldn't even know me.

But that's too selfish. So instead I'll stay by everyone's side and help them as best as I can. I'll try not make a mess and I'll keep my mouth shut about how I feel.