If I Was A Girl

115 3 6
                                    


A girl is any female human from birth through childhood and adolescence to attainment of adulthood when she becomes a woman. The term may also be used to mean a young woman.
*****

DIANA

I wasn't always a mother or an ex-wife

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I wasn't always a mother or an ex-wife. I wasn't always a devout Christian or overweight. But, isn't that the story of everyone's life. We have to live with the used to bes, wannabes, and the gonna bes. I prefer to just live. Now, since I am just babbling, maybe I should just tell my story so you can understand me better. I am Diana Raiford, mother of Aarik and Kendra, grandmother of Zamari and wife, I mean, ex-wife of Wayne; at least in the eyes of the law. My bible tells me that I am the first, the last and the only. I made it my life's mission to show my children the way that they should go. I wasn't always a Christian, but I was always their mother.

Aarik, my first-born and only son is like me. He is a strong, sensitive person. While Kendra, my only daughter and second child was absolutely the spitting imagery of her father. I always worried whether or not I was too hard on Kendra and not hard enough on Aarik. I blamed myself for him being... gay. Even after knowing in my heart all of his life that he was different than the other boys. When he was a little boy, he always stuck to himself and when he did interact with someone it was his female cousins. His two uncles were too busy with their lives to teach him how to be a man and his father treated him like a step-child because he was never 100% that Aarik was his son.

My son was always my rock, my backbone, the Batman to my Robin. No matter what it was, he was always on his mama's side. Wayne, his father was always in and out of prison. Wayne's father hadn't taught him how to be a father, so he had no idea how to teach my son how to be one. Their arguments were terrible and their fights were brutal. I remember the last time that Wayne came home from prison. He didn't like the way Aarik had assumed the position of man of the house. My son had stepped up to the plate when his father was incarcerated for attempted murder and gun charges. He held down his home and took care of his sister on the outside world. I always knew that Aarik was stronger than he looked.

Aarik was ten years old and his father was readjusting to life outside of a prison wall. We were cleaning the house as a family and Wayne had asked Aarik to go around the corner to my sister Winifred's house to borrow her vaacum cleaner. I don't really remember what Aarik said, but it set Wayne off. He realized it was time for him to straighten our son out once and for all. He walked into the room that Aarik shared with his sister Kendra and slapped him so hard in the mouth, I knew my son saw stars. My ten year old son stood to his feet holding his face and turned to leave. As he left, he gave his father a look I have never forgotten up to this day. He was a full-fledged man. The whippings were over from that point on. Aarik was determined not to be a victim of anybody's power issues. My son and ex-husband are like oil and water, but I can't love one more than the other. That is a choice only GOD could make for me.

I was there for my son as he went through teenage puberty. I was there when he had his first real heartbreak, his first kiss; down to his first time having an orgasm from masturbating. But, all of that paled in comparison to the day he met him. He swooped in and turned my baby's life upside down. I had to accept the fact that my son was gay, but the relationship he had with this monster rubbed me the wrong way in so many aspects. Even now, I still curse the day I first heard the name... Sincere William Lee.

Gigolos: South BeachWhere stories live. Discover now