Hope & Despair

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What?

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What?

Did she really ask that?

To me?

HeeJin shook her head in disbelief. No, she just must be dazed and confused, attempting to convince herself that there should be no concern. The dream she had of HyunJin disappearing resurfaced only for her to push it back into the depths of her mind, refusing that it may be a reality.

HeeJin looked once more at her confused girlfriend, despite her victory from her internal strife, her fear and anxiety all came back to her when she saw the expression of HyunJin's face. The hospitalized girl was utterly lost, scanning her surroundings and struggling to hide the puzzlement and confusion she wore on her face of why she was in the hospital in the first place. HyunJin kept stealing glances at the forgotten girl. Her eyes only showed emptiness; they were blank. These weren't the same eyes that once gazed upon HeeJin with care and affection. The same gaze she had grown accustomed to, the eyes that HeeJin found comfort in.

HeeJin was quickly losing hope, and her confidence was faltering. She had to fight whatever blockade was in her throat to speak. "HyunJin...It's me, Heekki." She pleaded, her hand reached out to HyunJin, while the other clutched her chest as if she was trying to protect her own heart. What were once tears of joy, were turning into burning droplets of anxiety and desperation.

The girl in the hospital bed still had a perplexed look on her face, the sound of the once cherished pet name was unknown to her; it was like her first time hearing it. She hesitantly shook her head, unable to understand why a stranger locked into her eyes with such desperation and longingness. Why did that glassy look on the smaller girl's face make her chest tighten so much?

HeeJin's arm fell to her side, and her knuckles became white as the grip over her heart clenched even tighter. She felt nauseous as the room felt like it was closing in on her. Her breathing quickly turned into hyperventilating; she felt like she was drowning.

Doesn't she know me?

She doesn't remember me.

The hospital room became too suffocating; everything began to blur. HeeJin couldn't take it; the feeling of this unwanted pressure ached her heart. She burst through the doors, and she ran, sprinted anywhere, anywhere but there. The air was thick and heavy, making it hard to breathe despite her lungs pumping her chest rapidly.

Was this a sick joke?

This must be a nightmare.

She frantically ran, no destination in mind, it was just a useless attempt to run from the reality she didn't want to believe was true. Her legs felt weak, stumbling from her own weight. Eventually, she found herself in a dimly lit corridor somewhere in the hospital's labyrinth of hallways and rooms. Pacing around, she tried to hold back her tears that were already streaming down her cheeks, but it was hopeless even to attempt as the waterworks began to pour harder down her porcelain cheeks. She collapsed on the ground and sobbed uncontrollably, clutching her heart from the pain.

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