After 30 Days

Thirty-Seven Day 57

It felt like someone had knocked the wind out of my lungs. Pulled the rug out from under my feet. Pissed in my lemonade. All of the idioms, as I sat on my butt on the cold, hard road. Reality didn't seem to be real. 

Nothing that we had tried had saved Maya. She had silently slipped away amid the chaos around her. The expression on her face was serene. It was freaking me out. 

The adrenaline rush seemed to have sobered Bill. He didn't appear drugged any more. Now he just looked like he was in shock. His eyes were stretched wide as he stared at his wife's body. He was still kneeling at her side, but he wasn't touching her any more. His hands were braced on the pavement. 

All around us, Shawn, Sam, and Marcus stood, all wearing identical expressions. They all looked like they were about to be sick. When our small group had exploded into motion, trying desperately to revive Maya, it had pulled Rex away from whatever he had been staring at in the weeds, and the dog was now laying near Maya's head, his nose close to her hair and sniffing furiously. 

The wind was still blowing, getting colder by the second, it felt. The dry grass was rustling. A crow screamed from some nearby trees. Nothing else moved or made a sound. We were trapped by the tragedy that had just blindsided us. 

An hour ago, the woman who was now dead had been perfectly normal. A relatively healthy human who had been one of the stronger people that I had ever met in my life. I couldn't comprehend how she could be gone, while I was still sitting there, drawing breath in short gasps. 

Bill made a sound in the back of his throat before pushing to his feet and rushing away from the group. He didn't make it far before he turned around and came back, walking much more slowly. His eyes bounced around, looking at everything except the body on the ground. When he made it back to within a few feet of us, he turned to the side and stared off down the road, in the direction that we had come.

When a hand appeared in my face, I took it instinctively and allowed myself to be pulled to my feet. Unsteadily, I leaned into the shoulder that was conveniently there to offer support. This was not the first time that we had lost one of our own. Far from it, but it had hit the hardest yet. Maybe because it had all happened so fast. Or maybe because I had really looked up to Maya. 

Or maybe, I thought as I breathed in the familiar scent of the man that I was leaning on, it was because I had thought that it was going to be me with that dead look on my face, not Bill, not so long ago. Whatever the cause, it made me hold on harder.

"We have to bury her," Bill said, breaking the silence. "I... ugh." He scrubbed at his face. "I need to bury her. I can't just leave her out here like this."

"Absolutely. I'll help you," Shawn told him solemly.

Bill nodded, still staring into the distance. "We never had any kids. I mean, we wanted to, but never did. Maybe that was for the best after all." He paused, "It's just been the two of us for a long time now. I don't, um, yeah. " He stopped talking, just heaved a huge sigh, before beginning to walk off to the side of the road.

Rex was back on his feet in an instant, growling a low warning again, before the sound trailed off into a whine. The dog glanced my way before going back to his intense focus on the weeds.

"Bill, hold up." I straightened up and took a step toward the man. "We still don't know why Rex is so worried. You shouldn't go alone. Give us a second and we'll go with you."

"It doesn't matter," he told me, but stopped just before leaving the road. 

I shot a glance at Shawn before double checking that my weapons were still on me. Doing the same next to me, Shawn paused long enough for one more long look around us, before walking to join Bill. Following close behind, I felt a shiver of unease as we stepped into the tall grass. It reminded me of the field that we had walked through to get to that town where we had met poor, disturbed Jackie. It felt like walking into a trap, somehow.