Broken Wings

Chapter 20 - Angel's Name

Rosé's POV:

Even though I'm disappointed with his decision back then about his situation with Gayoung, I never hold it against him. It was Yoongi and Jin that made me understand why Jungkook needed to do that in order to close that chapter of his life. So he could move on from her. I supported him. I said I'll be there for him, so I did.

I didn't tell anyone about my bad dreams because it was bearable back then. Little did I know that it was only bearable because of Jungkook's presence. Apparently, I need him as much as he needs me.

Ever since Jeju, when I get nightmares, I always found myself going to Jungkook's room. Jungkook's a heavy sleeper. He doesn't even notice me when I go in to his room. But I never bothered him, I just sleep silently on his couch. And then the bad dreams will go away. He is my peace.

Then one night, he caught me sneaking in. He asked me why I'm in his room and I simply replied "Bad dream." He didn't ask any further but he offered me the space beside him. At first, I frowned at him. But he simply said, "I cannot fight your demons if you're there on the couch."

The following nights, he waited for me. We sometimes forget sleep all together. We just talked about what happened to our day, what we wanted to do the next day and everything else there is talk about. One night, he sang me to sleep, the next I sang with him. That's the time he asked me to do the demo song he wrote for Jimin. It's not finished though, but he hoped listening to me would help. He said he loved my voice. I should have remembered that. That he only loved my voice.

I went to the studio with him one day. We spent the whole day locked in it because he can't finish the song. He tried though, but he ended up getting distracted by my stories and my constant request for food. We didn't notice that the night came already. He just noticed the time when he saw how my eyes fall until it fluttered closed.

Morning came, I woke up in his studio. He was beaming. He finished the song. He made me sing it. He was so happy. It's the first time he finished a song in a long time. I was happy for him.

When we finished recording...

He ran to me inside the recording booth.

He ran like his life depended on it... as if I were miles apart even though it's only a glass window in between us.

His body crashed with mine, I felt like I almost broke a bone or two. But without even recovering from it...

He kissed me.

As if he waited for it all night long. As if.

He was unapologetic which made me feel a lot of things which I cannot understand. I just wanted peace, now, why he had to create a chaos in my heart?

I left the studio with Jimin that day because Jungkook had to meet her. It's part of the "act". I waited for him to come home that day as I cannot sleep. And when I did, I dreamed of a funeral which made me cry when I woke up.

I walked to his room, expecting to get the welcome I get every night. But the only welcome I had there was that girl, sleeping on my side of the bed.

I felt pathetic seeing her. I should have known. But what's more pathetic was that I still needed his presence to fight my demons, so I slept on the couch and just woke up before they could.

I stopped going to his room which made the nightmares frequent my sleep. I comfort myself by thinking these things in my head were the memories I lost. I cried silent tears so I could not wake anyone. I told myself I can do this... but I cannot at all.

I cannot anymore.

"Where the hell are you, Rosé?"

He speaks to my mind. I thought I ran far enough but his mind can still reach me.