My Best Friend's Ex (Edited)

Part 13 (edited)

COLBY

"Good rule. I'll fucking school you in music selection, just a fair warning."

"No way. Weren't you listening to emo music back in high school?"

I pull my gaze from the pad where I'm writing to say, "People change, babe, I have good taste now. Just you wait." I finish up writing down the rule and ask, "Who gets to pick first?"

"Rock paper scissors?"

"That works." We get into position and clang our hands against our open palms and both say rock, paper, scissors. My paper beats her rock, making me the victor. "That's fucking right, I go first. And since I won, I think whoever's in charge of Music Monday is in charge of the rest of the rules that week. That way we don't get confused. Deal?"

I hold my hand out to her, which she stares at for a second before gripping it and shaking. "Deal."

"That a girl." I look down at my watch, my eyes feeling tired as I take in the time. "Fuck, I'm spent. I'm going to head up to bed. Are you all set? Do you need anything?"

"I'm good." We both stand. She gathers the pizza box and drinks and sticks them in the bare-bones fridge. Shit, I need to buy groceries.

Wanting to make it official, I rip the rules off the pad of paper, reach into the junk drawer in the kitchen and take a piece of Duct Tape from the roll I keep handy. I put the paper against the wall in the kitchen where we can both easily see it and tape it down.

I bring Emma close to my body by wrapping my arm around her and say, "It's official. We're roomies." It feels like I'm having an out-of-body experience with my arm around Emma. I don't do this, this touchy-feely bullshit, and yet, here I am, being a considerate motherfucker with Emma.

"I guess so."

"Don't forget to pay your rent. I'm not opposed to evicting." I give her a wink before taking off upstairs. "Have a good night, Emma. I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." I hear her whispered response. My chest swells with pride. For the first time since I've lived in this house, I don't feel so fucking lonely. Maybe having Emma stay with me was a good idea after all.

Colby and Emma's House Rules for Living Together

Once a week, Emma has to put down the books and do something fun, let the wind flap in her tits. Enjoyment of chosen activity is a must. *Edited to add all activities involving heights, holding snakes, or porcelain dolls aren't considered enjoyment for Emma. Do not try to include them.

One night a week, Emma and Colby talk about sex. The good, the bad, and the dirty. Condoms are encouraged to be used as hand puppets for educational purposes.

One night a week, Emma and Colby cook dinner together, something healthy that doesn't involve pizza, tacos, or beer. One veggie is required in the meal, but it can't be iceberg lettuce; it's just water, nor a potato.

If the butter is removed from the kitchen, the butter is not allowed back in the kitchen. Respect the butter, respect your roomies, and keep genitals away from butter tub, even if said genitals can't believe it's not butter.

Music Mondays. DJ Hot Cock, aka Colby, and DJ Jazzy Nurse Tits, aka Emma, take turns picking a song for the week. DJ Hot Cock will ultimately school DJ Jazzy Nurse Tits in what's good music. *Edited to add, DJ Jazzy Nurse Tits is not happy with her DJ name. **Edited to add, DJ Hot Cock is very pleased with his DJ name.