My Best Friend's Ex (Edited)

Part 21 (edited)

Why do I want to prove myself to her, to see if my kiss would be everything she wanted? This is Emma, my friend, someone I've cared about my whole life, not someone I've wanted romantically. The only person I've ever wanted, tasted, is Sadie. But fuck, that ship has sailed, even though I'm still not in a place of my life where I want to say goodbye. I still feel bitter. And fuck me if I still don't want her . . .

"It's stupid, I know." Emma cuts through my thoughts and shrugs. "I'm a dreamer."

Shaking all thoughts of Sadie out of my head, I focus on Emma and clear my throat. "It's not stupid. It's sexy."

"Sexy?" Her nose scrunches cutely.

She stares at me for a few brief seconds before her hand covers her mouth and she starts to giggle.

Fucking giggle.

What's so damn funny about me saying that's sexy?

Growing a little irritated, I ask, "Why the hell are you laughing?"

She waves her hand in front of her face, trying to ward off the giggles. When she composes herself, she says, "I'm sorry. It's just . . ." she bites her lip and looks up at me through her eyelashes, "Colby Brock just said that something I said was sexy."

"So?" Why am I not getting this?

"Oh, come on." She gives me a pointed look. "You're the hometown heartbreaker."

"The what?"

She clenches her knees even closer to her body as her cheeks blush. Her blue eyes search me over, making me feel exposed, as if I really should know what she's talking about. Honestly, I have no clue.

"Figures." She smiles. "You were so wrapped up in Sadie, you had no idea how many hearts you were breaking with every kiss you gave her. You were the boy, Colby. Every girl wanted you to look their way, to give them a second of your time, to . . ." she swallows hard and continues, "to be swept up into your world."

I grab the back of my neck uncomfortably. "That's, uh . . ." Fuck, what does someone say to that? "That's interesting." I cringe inwardly.

Emma chuckles and shakes her head.
"You're so oblivious. You always have been. And it never made sense why you thought you weren't good enough for Sadie."

"Clearly, I wasn't." My voice is forlorn, pensive almost.

Emma scoots closer and puts her hand on mine, causing me to look her in the eyes. "You were good enough to be with her, Colby. You just weren't right for her."

Seems to be the common opinion amongst our group of friends, besides me. Not for one fucking minute did I think I wasn't right for Sadie. In fact, I thought I was the perfect fit for her. We'd been through hell and back together. Up until she met her boyfriend Andrew, there was nothing I didn't know about her; there was nothing she kept hidden from me.

Irritation consumes me, my patience growing thin quickly with every memory of Sadie that passes through my mind.

"I don't believe that," I answer honestly, my voice stern, to the point. "Sadie was the love of my life. Is . . . she is the love of my life." I run my hand over my face and try to calm my racing heart.

"Colby, I didn't mean to—"

"You know what, it's getting late," I snap. "I think we should call it a night." I snag the magazine from bed and toss it to the side, putting an end to our "sex talk."

"Oh . . . okay." Emma shifts off the bed, her voice weak. "I didn't mean to offend you, Colby."

Consider me fucking offended.

"It's fine. I'll catch you later, Emma." And just like that, I shut down, tucking myself into bed and letting her show her way out of my bedroom.

There are two things I don't want to talk about, ever: my mom and Sadie. Both topics cause me pain, self-hatred, and make me question every aspect of my desperately pathetic and shitty life.

As she slowly leaves my room, I turn on my side away from her and her "opinion", still fuming from thoughts of Sadie, of everyone's doubt in our relationship. Of fucking Sadie's doubt in our relationship. She didn't even give me a second chance to prove to her that I'm the man she needs. Not a boy, but the MAN she fucking needs.

No, Emma, you're wrong.

I wasn't good enough.

I wasn't good enough for Sadie to stay.