mind over matter

alive

I find that I am too weak to be in love

it's taken so much to write about how
your arms make me fly and the softness of your hair

I no longer feel conviction in these declares

the world keeps spinning me round and round it's rotation oblivious to my fragility till my head falls off my shoulders

it's getting harder to hold
myself up

to pull my body soaked with
despair and exhaustion from the
murky depths of self destruction

I slip between my own fingers
don't feel like a solid structure

rather a puddle evaporating under the
merciless sun

can't even pull a glass of water to my lips just let the dehydration stick

is it too late to kill my bad habits?

to start living rather than surviving

feel the grass tickle my feet while I run
to nowhere the trees a green blur in my
peripherals skimming the tips of my fingers over their rough bark
letting nettles scrape my ankles and cling to my clothing run run run as though my feet can lift themselves into the air like when I was young

this dreamless life
always fighting
I'm tired
so tired

let me be alive again.

////

don't forget to⤵️

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